I should just title every post that way, right?
Remember gentlemen, if a woman looks at you while you are at this convention, and you think she may be interested in you, she isn’t. She’s most likely reminiscing about the chocolate volcano she enjoyed last night at dessert. Do not approach her, or speak to her for any reason other than to inform her that she is on fire if you happen to see flames flickering from her hair or clothing. Keep your hands to yourselves. Politely decline all handshakes or hugs. Do not under any circumstances attempt to discuss any topic at all, or otherwise engage in interaction that is not first approved by an appointed sexual harassment chaperone. When moving from one fixed point in a room to another, keep your eyes on the floor and your arms tucked tightly to your sides. Before moving to another point, ensure that your destination is devoid of women for a 15 foot radius. Don’t even think about drinking alcohol, and do not as another woman if they’d like to share a drink with you. They do not. If a woman engages you in conversation, slowly back away without speaking, and shaking your head to indicate “no”. Do these things, and everyone will be able to enjoy themselves without incident. Thank you.
Yeah. Thanks. We get it. You want atheism to be like a frat party. We don’t.