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Feb 14 2013

Brave hero and the impersonation-of-me Twitter accounts

Brave hero JREF Saviour ElevatorGATE storifies an “exchange” between two Twitter accounts that use my real name as their handles. No harassment here folks! Public figure! Freeze peach!

Conversation with @OPHELlABENSON and @OpheIiaBenson

  1. ACHTUNG! send us donations to annoy zee haterz ! zend us all the moneys now! #ftbullies#opheliabenson
  2. @OPHELlABENSON who ist dast femfuhrer? You ist dast femfuhrer! Hail thinky femfuhrer Ophitler!

Ain’t that funny? Tim Minchin, look to your laurels.

63 comments

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  1. 1
    Anthony K

    ‘Nother donation, Ophelia.

  2. 2
    Wowbagger, Designated Snarker

    Well, I’m sure the antis can come up with examples of where people from FTB/Skepchick/A+ are doing the same to the public figures on their side. I mean, some of those Twitter accounts have to be fake; none of them could be that clueless.

    Oh, wait…

  3. 3
    tonyinbatavia

    Ah, poor whiny shitbrains have their fee-fees hurt because you’re making money off their hate. Meanwhile, you are chalking up the donations and they are still shitbrains. Who whine.

    More contributed, this time in their names. Great job, you small, petty, vapid assholes. I know Ophelia appreciates it.

  4. 4
    Kelseigh

    You are correct. It ain’t funny.

  5. 5
    Ophelia Benson

    I almost included a final line saying don’t donate this time! It’s not fair to you guize. It’s the one thing I can think of that will really bother them but it’s also perverse – it’s not fair to yooooou.

  6. 6
    Ophelia Benson

    Oh and thank you for bothering them and for the cookies. THE COOKIES.

  7. 7
    Rob

    I’ll block book the Town Hall for when they come on their triumphant world comedy tour. I’m sure it’ll be no trouble to sell 2,500 tickets for comedy gold like that.

  8. 8
    Martha

    Pathetic. They’re just pathetic.

  9. 9
    Mattir, Another One With Boltcutters

    Donation. And I think twitter is irretrievably broken.

    I took the Desert Tortoises with Bolt Cutters Civility Pledge in your honor.

  10. 10
    Anthony K

    I’m sure it’ll be no trouble to sell 2,500 tickets for comedy gold like that.

    Meh. Was funnier when Arte Johnson did the German Officer shtick on Laugh-In in the 70s.

  11. 11
    PZ Myers

    So…where’s Orac?

  12. 12
    PZ Myers

    #10: late 60s, early 70s. I was there. It’s older than you think.

  13. 13
    Artemis

    Donation from me too. I made the mistake of going over and looking at those Twitter accounts and it made me sick to my stomach.

  14. 14
    Ophelia Benson

    Come on, it’s so funny. Ophitler – what could be funnier than that?!

  15. 15
    leni

    Wow. Even the fake German is bad.

  16. 16
    tonyinbatavia

    No worries, Ophelia @5. As long as haterz gotta hate, I love that they have absolutely no response to our donations other than invoking Hitler, which is some seriously weak sauce, It must be asploding their neurons that you are profiting from them being perpetual asshats. The beauty of it is that their pea brains will never be able to figure out a decent response. They hate, you profit.

  17. 17
    Rob

    Meh. Was funnier when Arte Johnson did the German Officer shtick on Laugh-In in the 70s.

    Never seen/heard him. Seriously funny or you-have-to-be-kidding funny? And, just in case anyone missed it there was a super-sized dose of /s in my comment at 7.

  18. 18
    dexitroboper

    Ordering us to “figure it out”?!! You’re just like Hitler!!

  19. 19
    Lofty

    These stink bugs need nuking. Small donation coming your way for the pest controllers.

  20. 20
    Ophelia Benson

    Well ok it’s the only way.

    Love you all, mean it.

    And it was a MILLION DOLLARS so ha, mildewers.

  21. 21
    Marcus Ranum

    Cha-ching!

  22. 22
    Rob

    I know dexitroboper, I know. What can I say. Work was really getting in the way of polite discourse and proper HTML syntax. Thanks to Ophelia or whomever for tidying up after my mess. I’ll just go stand in the corner for a while.

  23. 23
    UnknownEric the Apostate

    I just can’t fathom how these people have the time and the energy to devote to this level of assholery. They need a hobby.

  24. 24
    AJ Milne

    Umm…

    Wow.

    That’s actually…

    Seriously, that’s actually a little painful. Like I almost feel for them, y’know? A bit like watching a standup routine just go horribly flat on amateur night…

    Except, yeah, I think worse. Here it’s more like, yeah, guy, we’re afraid you did actually post that, and it is now on the internet, and the internet, we’re afraid, does not quickly forget, and well…

    Well, do a lot of folk actually know who you are? This should be your first consideration, I guess… And if it’s not so many the whole thing is likely to spread too far, too fast, I guess you could still have radical plastic surgery, change your name and move to Siberia…

    Sure. With any luck, the pseudonymous thing will give you that precious running head start, anyway, and some day, you will find an isolated yaranga out on the steppes where you can dwell…

    Yes, and there, at least, in the cold fastness of the permafrost, you may, on occasion be able to show your freshly and strategically modified face out of doors without people shaking their heads and smiling sadly and piteously…

    Well, you know. Maybe, anyway.

    As to the endless repetition, umm…

    Oh. I know. Mebbe it’s like a mandatory element? You know how in skating and gymnastics and all that stuff how you’ve got to do a back flip or a Triple Salchow or somethin’ as a requirement in the routine?

    That must be it. And here, of course, we see the mandatory Quadruple Godwin.

  25. 25
    Anthony K

    Seriously, that’s actually a little painful. Like I almost feel for them, y’know? A bit like watching a standup routine just go horribly flat on amateur night…

    Remember when flat-out Godwinning was a thing skeptics called creationists on?

  26. 26
    Anthony K

    Come on, it’s so funny. Ophitler – what could be funnier than that?!

    You know, if you leave the ‘p’ out of Ophitler and Google the remainder, you get paranoid Tea-Party Religious Right wingnut screeds.

    One letter away.

  27. 27
    hjhornbeck

    Note to self: next time, do a string of small donations instead of one big one. :P

    I sorta love that this is what your haters are reduced to. Do they link to a time you behaved exactly like Hitler? Nope. How about a moment where you tried to control everyone? Can’t do it. Maybe an off-colour remark or something? Not even that. A link to help bring newcomers up to speed? Nah. Instead, their efforts at swaying the world to their side consist of speaking in funny accents.

    Brilliant tactic, you two. Keep hanging yourself with that rope.

  28. 28
    Bjarte Foshaug

    “Disagreement” my ass…

  29. 29
    Maureen Brian

    Donation.

  30. 30
    mildlymagnificent

    Ok. I’ve donated small amount. Need to control it because I can’t afford to support their obsession if they continue and I’m giving a “usual” donation amount. But I’m putting them on notice that I absolutely will keep on doing it.

    This might get ridiculous – but it’s the right kind of ridiculous. I don’t care if you get rich from it or if your favourite charities do well out of it, either way, these clowns are going to do s.o.m.e. good in the world despite themselves.

    Either they’ll shut up and leave you in peace, Win! or you and your favoured interests will get money out of it, Another kind of Win!

  31. 31
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Where can I file a complaint on behalf of the German language

    But Ophelia, I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear that over at Dan Ficke’s some of the pitters said that you only had to stop your nasty behaviour. Isn’t that progress?

  32. 32
    hyperdeath

    But Ophelia, I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear that over at Dan Ficke’s some of the pitters said that you only had to stop your nasty behaviour. Isn’t that progress?

    They’re like maladjusted children who believe that kicking somebody and being kicked are fundamentally different. The former doesn’t hurt, so there’s nothing wrong with it. The latter does hurt, so it’s cruel and evil.

  33. 33
    thetalkingstove

    I just don’t know how they have the time to do this pathetic, pointless shit. Don’t they have hobbies, friends, partners?

    Oh well, (small) donation made!

  34. 34
    JoeBuddha

    Rob @17 – Seriously funny: Arte Johnson was one of my favorite comedians. Also, Laugh-In was great fun; used to watch it religiously.

  35. 35
    JoeBuddha

    Oh, and it’s nice to see our Palainian friends so ably represented… [/derail]

  36. 36
    sheila

    Right, that’s another donation headed your way. Enjoy the cookies.

  37. 37
    rnilsson

    Oh Ophelia, this will ruin me! And watch out eating all those cookies.

    Where can I file a complaint on behalf of the German language

    But Ophelia, I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear that over at Dan Ficke’s

    That’s the way to do it: Money for nothing and the chips for free

  38. 38
    A Hermit

    I finally joined Twitter just so I could be a “crypto faSSIst” and block Dean Esmay. Can’t say I feel like I’ve been missing much…

  39. 39
    glodson

    First: that was supposed to be funny? Or even witty?

    Second: Shut up and take my money! Okay, I wish I could say that, but I’m really lacking money right now.

  40. 40
    Ophelia Benson

    Good morning.

    At Dan Fincke’s? They are?

    Oy.

  41. 41
    Worldtraveller

    Can’t access paypal from work, but I am going to send donations to you, Stephanie, AND Natalie…maybe even that terrible evil Rebecca Watson as well (Hey, I’m at least doing ok enough to share the love a bit, I remember what it was like).

    Shut up and take my money! :D

  42. 42
    Ophelia Benson

    Ok! :D

    And thanks from all of us.

  43. 43
    catwhisperer

    Is it not kind of… encouraging to see how weak their “criticism” ( I use the word loosely) is? I’m asking because today I was told by someone that the latest complaint about me by a person who has been hassling me in work for more than 10 years is that ” I love attention”. I was tickled pink, it’s the the most childish insult imaginable and here I was, worrying that she might be saying things about me that would actually be hurtful.

    There should be a counter showing the number of donations. it’d be fun to watch it ticking upwards.

  44. 44
    Ryan Long

    So how lucrative has complaining about twitter comments been for you Ophelia?

  45. 45
    Ophelia Benson

    Why do you ask, Ryan?

  46. 46
    Anthony K

    So how lucrative has complaining about twitter comments been for you Ophelia?

    I understand every cent is going to building a FEMA camp in which to intern those who merely disagree.

    What size bunk will you require, Ryan Long?

  47. 47
    rnilsson

    Carp, do I have to stay up all night spending my moneys? Eh?

  48. 48
    glodson

    So how lucrative has complaining about twitter comments been for you Ophelia?

    I would imagine that if cutting off the harassment and threats would damage her booming business. Imagine if people stopped with that, she would be broke! How could she possibly write any more posts without the valuable contributions of a bunch of harassing morons?

  49. 49
    tonyinbatavia

    Ryan Long, you are the latest reason for me to donate to Ophelia, which I have just done again, this time on your behalf. Congratulations!

    “You hate, Ophelia profits.”

  50. 50
    hotshoe, now with more boltcutters

    Isn’t Ryan Long a follower of the mildew mob?

    It’s not likely Ryan has an innocent or justifiable motive for asking about the “filthy lucre”. At best, it’s to slyly imply that Ophelia doesn’t deserve income.

    Well, of course, she doesn’t deserve harassment, either, but none of that mob would ever imply that, much less admit it out loud.

    If they would at least shut the fuck up, the world would be immeasurably better.

  51. 51
    Anthony K

    Isn’t Ryan Long a follower of the mildew mob?

    How many TruSkepticPoints™ did your drive-by earn you at the pit, Ryan?

  52. 52
    Ophelia Benson

    Oh yes, Ryan is one of the mildew gang. Has been for ages, ever since Greta did a Facebook post on the magic, the horrible stupid magic, by which any mention of Rebecca Watson triggers an avalanche of hatred and bile, and Ryan had to pop in to say “But I hate Rebecca Watson too, what about meeeeee?”

    He failed to get affection and respect in return, so he went full mildew. Of course. What else can one do?

  53. 53
    Caveat Imperator

    So if you’re supposed to be Hitler, does this make PZ Goering (since he’s FTB’s attack dog) or Quisling (since he’s supposed to be opposed to feminism like a Real Man and instead chose to collaborate)?

    That’s how this insane breed of logic works, right?

  54. 54
    SallyStrange

    Hey, not to be crassly commercial or anything, but I’m trying to raise travel funds so I can take advantage of the Surly Amy grant I won to go to the American Atheist convention in Austin TX. If you want to contribute, you can use Stephanie Zvan’s Paypal. I’ve been trying to put a link to her paypal up on my blog, but I’m a n00b, so I’ve been having trouble. But if you just go to her blog, you can send her a note that it’s for the Send Sally to Austin fund. I’ve got a post up about it on my blog, which is linked at my ‘nym.

  55. 55
    Josh, Official Spokesgay

    “Full mildew”. . .it’s been five minutes and I’m still snorting.

  56. 56
    oolon

    How did Ryan manage to not mention his “Womens studies” course? Has Ophelia banned him…

  57. 57
    Anthony K

    Done, SallyStrange.

  58. 58
    noxiousnan

    Ain’t that funny? Tim Minchin, look to your laurels.

    Do you mean funny ha-ha or funny please-stab-my-eyes-out-to-protect-them-from-this-banality?

    I almost included a final line saying don’t donate this time! It’s not fair to you guize. It’s the one thing I can think of that will really bother them but it’s also perverse – it’s not fair to yooooou

    I’d feel the same way. But consider how heartened you feel when you get to give to a charity or cause that is important to you, especially when there’s the added bonus of pissing off pissants. I was going to make my donation in the name of Pitchguest, whom I’ve sparred with on YT, and whom was noticeably absent from your latest post on harassment in gaming. But he’ll have to wait for the next one, alas.

    This one is for Ryan Long.

  59. 59
    noxiousnan

    Hey Ophelia, maybe you should go ahead and say don’t donate. Based on my own disposition, I think donations would come in anyway, and that would really piss em off.

    (Okay, now I’m just being childish.)

  60. 60
    Stacy

    How did Ryan manage to not mention his “Womens studies” course?

    :D

  61. 61
    Ophelia Benson

    And how did Ryan manage not to answer my question?

  62. 62
    bad Jim

    So I can donate, even without a PayPal account. Good to know.

    Let me suggest you use this sudden spate of donations for a new pair of shoes, if only to infuriate the most unhinged of your … admirers, who seem to have an issue with footwear. Something for your trip to Dublin, perhaps. Boring old hippie that I am, I’d suggest comfortable walking shoes, but knee-high boots are all the rage here in Southern California, and maybe you ought to treat yourself to something kick-ass, just for fun.

  63. 63
    Aratina Cage

    But Ophelia, I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear that over at Dan Ficke’s some of the pitters said that you only had to stop your nasty behaviour. Isn’t that progress?

    Considering they have her confused with Hitler and Pope Ratzinger, I’d say they are out of their gourds.

    Ryan had to pop in to say “But I hate Rebecca Watson too, what about meeeeee?”

    He failed to get affection and respect in return, so he went full mildew. Of course. What else can one do?

    But you don’t understand. Long cannot go full-mildew (lovely term by the way ^_^)–he took a Women’s Studies class! So that screenshot showing him going full-mildew must be all in our heads, right? And he doesn’t pop up in every single frucking thread to remind us of his precious sensibilities, does he? I must be imagining it all. It’s like being a theist again, but this time God is Ryan Long not being there to tell you his credentials and not going full-mildew.

    How did Ryan manage to not mention his “Womens studies” course?

    Maybe it’s because we all got the hang of it and do it for him now. *waves hands wildly* STOP TALKING! RYAN TOOK A WOMEN’S STUDIES COURSE!!!!

  1. 64
    Ophelia Benson takes offense to parody accounts she scoured the interwebs to find. « The Critical Atheist

    [...] so funny when 2 impersonation Twitter accts that use my real name talk to each other. Hahaheehee. freethoughtblogs.com/butterfliesand…— Ophelia Benson (@OpheliaBenson) February 15, [...]

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