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Feds to people: we not hiding the mermaidz

The US government tells us there is no evidence for the existence of mermaids. In other news, the UN issues a press release saying that rain makes things get wet.

There is no evidence that mermaids exist, a US government scientific agency has said.

The National Ocean Service made the unusual declaration in response to public inquiries following a TV show on the mythical creatures.

It is thought some viewers may have mistaken the programme for a documentary.

“No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found,” the service wrote in an online post.

It is thought there might be something amiss with the US education system if people can’t distinguish between a tv show about mythical creatures and a documentary on laydeez with a fish body where their slot is supposed to be.

Comments

  1. 'Tis Himself says

    The US government tells us there is no evidence for the existence of mermaids.

    That’s what they want us to believe.

  2. LeftSidePositive says

    Why is FreeFromThoughBlogs so anti-mermaid? You guys are such a hivemind! I feel bullied by your refusal to consider the existence of mermaids!! Why, every time I tell people here that there are totally mermaids, they all gang up on me to say I’m wrong!! Just because I disagree doesn’t mean you should silence me! How come you won’t invite bloggers to your network who believe in mermaids? Doesn’t “freethought” mean that I should be free to say there are mermaids without criticism? My favorite vlogger says there must be mermaids and he polled his youtube subscribers and they all overwhelmingly agreed there must be mermaids! You all just say you don’t believe in mermaids because PZ says not to. This is yet another topic on which the hysterical Rebecca Watson will not tolerate disagreement!!

  3. says

    The “documentary” in question is actually a MOCKUMENTARY and was aired on the History channel (or H2?) and isn’t super obviously a mockery considering “Ancient Aliens” and other shows of that ilk. The biggest tip off, frankly, was the “American” scientists who had Canadian accents. I came across it in the middle of it and assumed it was more conspiracy theory foolishness until I did a google search out of fury.

  4. 'Tis Himself says

    If there are no mermaids, then who did The Keeper of the Eddystone Light sleep with?

    Me father was the keeper of the Eddystone Light
    He slept with a mermaid one fine night.
    And out of that union there came three,
    A porpoise, a porgy and the other was me.

  5. Musical Atheist says

    I was hoping that a porgy might be another ‘mythical’ creature, that clearly actually exists, but apparently it’s a fish of the family Sparidae. I’m sceptical, has anyone really seen one?

  6. Svlad Cjelli says

    Careful with mermaid-cooking. You’ll be immortal before you know it. And probably cursed. Most likely cursed.

  7. bad Jim says

    I’ve had it with you people! Anyone who can’t see that manatees are truly sexy … may be less nearsighted than I am.

  8. had3 says

    The use of the word “manatee” shows how sexist you are. They are now referred to as “personatees.”

  9. jamessweet says

    Frankly, read between the lines and I think this is more a case of the National Ocean Service trying to get some free website traffic. Check this:

    National Ocean Service spokeswoman Carol Kavanagh…said that at least two people had written to the agency asking about the creatures.

    Oh deary me, they’ve been inundated with inquiries! They’ve had AT LEAST TWO people ask them about this. And only a couple of them might have been trolling! Better dash off a press release right away so that AT LEAST TWO people in America won’t be confused.

    My thinking is someone at NOS said to themselves, “Hey, there’s this mermaid show that’s getting good ratings… Mermaids are said to be in the ocean… We do stuff in the ocean… There’s gotta be a way to cash in on this!”

  10. christophburschka says

    There is no evidence that mermaids exist

    Yeah right; they’re saying the same thing about the aliens and their damn mind-control rays! :P

  11. anthrosciguy says

    Another vote for The Secret of Roan Inish, yet another example of John Sayles’ amazing ability to, well, be amazing.

    And from my viewpoint as one of the “go to” guys on the aquatic ape theory (which was used in the mermaid “doc”) my Google Alerts showed that quite a few people did not get the “it’s a mockumentary” message. Or they did, but decided that there’s still something to it because of what they saw. This is a problem with documentaries, even real ones, in that pictures with words can really sell an idea, even if that idea is bogus. Interestingly I’ve seen examples from nature shows where the pictures shown actually contradict the narration, but the fact that there is film behind the narration backs up the narration’s claim anyway, and the fact that the two are contradictory doesn’t register.

    That last would probably be an interesting topic for pysch research.

  12. Trish says

    If you would have watched the “mockumentory”you would have seen that it was made out to be a serious documentary. It was just lies like fox news. There’s something wrong with journalistic integrity when they make idiot remarks like, “It is thought there might be something amiss with the US education system if people can’t distinguish between a tv show about mythical creatures and a documentary on laydeez with a fish body where their slot is supposed to be”.

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