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Spit, Swallow, or Soufflé?

Friends send me strange sex-related articles all the time. I probably should be concerned what this says about my interests and personality, but I’m more intrigued by the articles themselves. I always think to myself, “Wow, nothing can be stranger than this.” I’m usually wrong.

Latest example: The cutting edge in cookbooks, Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes.

“Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!”

Uhhh…what a delicious looking…glaze?

…I think I suddenly became a vegetarian.

(Via Living the Scientific Life)

Comments

  1. kendermouse says

    *laughs* I found an article on this cookbook ages ago. I actually know someone who wants a copy of the book, and another person actually willing to try the recipes.

  2. says

    I have a really bad joke, but I’m not going to tell it, but it plays with the word vegetarian. You figure it out.

  3. Frank Christiny says

    If semen had been meant for the palate, women would have their tonsils in their vaginas, and men’s glans would look like a nipple….

  4. says

    This was the book featured on a Tosh.0 episode (his “book of the month” club to compete with Oprah). when they panned through the audience eating yogurt, their reactions were priceless. HAHA!

  5. Michon van Dooren says

    I wonder how many people are actually willing to try stuff like this out. You know, statistically speaking. I’d guess most people react the way you did, but I honestly don’t really know. Time for some more research? ;)

  6. says

    As a gay man, I’ve definitely “tried” many different guy’s semen. I’m not sure I really care about using it in a culinary setting, but it’s a perfectly natural, normal, unharmful practise to ingest semen.

  7. Ben says

    It’s not that bad, but I wouldn’t use it for cooking. Then again, some people eat liver, kidneys, brains, intestines, and all sorts of (to me) disgusting food.Anyway, sure, we (most of us) have semen in the home on tap, so to speak, but I wonder how one would go about getting enough to make a crémé caramel. Orgy time!

  8. Joey Maloney says

    I *think* that cookbook is a joke. But on the other hand, isn’t semen pretty close to egg white from a cooking-chemistry standpoint? Protein in a water suspension?

  9. Ben01 says

    I know what you mean! My boyfriend is crazy about sperm, and he’d think it was nice and naughty if we’d use it in food. I’m actually pretty curious what it does to the taste of normal foods.

  10. Joey Maloney says

    If you can figure out how to get semen from a child…well, I’m not really sure what. Best keep it to yourself, I suppose.

  11. Bhangers and Mash says

    I sometimes plan on using my own spunk to a biscuit or something else for a quick after jerk-off snack. Unfortunately, the idea suddenly does not seem as appetizing after the prolactin kicks in, so I usually just end up discarding it, since the idea of saving it for later doesn’t sound too appealing at the time either.

  12. Bhangers and Mash says

    Ah, the recipe names! xD”High Protein Smoothie””Irish Coffee with Extra Cream””Man Made Oysters””Roasted Lamb with Good Gravy””Tuna Sashimi with Homemade Dipping Sauce””Tiramisu Surprise””Chocolate Truffles with White Center”

  13. mcbender says

    I came across this a few years ago and was similarly disgusted… but of course I immediately sent links to all of my friends. It’s the kind of thing that I find too appalling to look away from.I’ve never been able to figure out whether or not it’s a joke.

  14. says

    that is awesome… but I hope the sperm suppliers were properly fed on pineapple. wouldn’t want that asparagus taste to ruin one’s desert! ;-)

  15. Alexrkr7 says

    They do have some good recipes. You should try the creemofsumyonguy**That’s right I’m hip to it

  16. Pablo says

    I once had a dream that one of the chefs on Iron Chef made a dish that involved him ejaculating on it.I’m not making it up, I did dream that.

  17. Pepijn says

    “Some” minors? I don’t know about you, but I’ve been “physically mature enough” since about age eleven… ;-)

  18. says

    hahahahahawell some ppl eat placenta because of all the hormones and such in it. But I tell them, the only way to get all that good stuff is to eat it raw.

  19. says

    As I read the title of this post, I was wondering if it had something to do with semen, but I figured that was just my dirty mind going to strange place. Turns out, I’m not all that strange..

  20. says

    That is incredibly bizarre.Honestly, using ANY human body fluid in food is bizarre. I’m sure it’s completely sanitary—you cook it, after all—but it’s still extremely squicky.Also, if we’re honest, it’s difficult to obtain a really cooking-worthy quantity of semen. A typical ejaculation is only about 5-10 mL. How does one cook with less than a teaspoon?Swallow, by all means. But don’t souffle.

  21. says

    Also, so long as it is obtained from a willing subject, human semen should be considered vegan.The point of veganism is to not harm sentients; it shouldn’t be about not eating animal products for the sake of not eating animal products.

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