Sharia Turkeys destroying thanksgiving!

Really, you just have to read the baby-cooking crazy shit these clowns believe. This is relayed via TPM from a nutjob site:

In a little-known strike against freedom, yet again, we are being forced into consuming meat slaughtered by means of a torturous method: Islamic slaughter,” Geller writes. She continues that if you like freedom and hate sharia, you should boycott Butterball and ask them to stop selling these nefarious birds.

Other warnings have been issued by several wingnut activists and serial grifters, including the claim reportedly made by Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association that ‘every turkey sold by Butterball has been sacrificed to Allah first!” What if the Sharia Turkeys join forces with the atheist Otters from Go God Go and begin cracking Christan skulls on their tummies?! Oh nooooo! Thanksgiving is dooomed!


  1. Crommunist says

    Restricting people’s religious practices because they are a “strike against freedom” is mind-spinningly ironic.

    However, there is a point to be made here. Halal and Kosher slaughter is incredibly more cruel than non-religious offing. Now, I am sure it can be argued that ANY penning, force-feeding, and subsequent slaughter of animals is cruel, and that is a valid point. I guess what I am saying is, there are ways to get turkey without cutting them open and letting them bleed to death. Religious slaughter is cruel, and I don’t see the superstitions of the credulous as being more worthy than the wish to spare unnecessary suffering, even if it is only a stupid turkey.

  2. raven says

    Don’t worry. The xians are on it. There are ways to de-Halalize turkeys.

    Xpost from Ed Brayton’s blog:

    It’s on to plan B.

    To exorcize de-Halalize your turkey, mutter magic spells (praying) over it while whacking it with a cross. Wave the magic book (bible) over it as well. Sprinkle it with holy water, stuff it with bacon and shrimp, and cook.

    That should drive old Allah right out of that turkey. I might have gotten some of the details wrong. It’s been a while since I paid much attention to xian rituals.

  3. raven says

    1. Chances are the wingnuts just lied about Butterball slaughtering their turkeys Halal.

    This is a somewhat involved procedure so they usually stamp it Halal and then charge more. Butterball is in the business to make money.

    2. The fundie xian god isn’t looking too strong here. The fundies and their god are afraid of a dead, frozen turkey wrapped in plastic?

    If a god can’t even deal with a dead turkey, why bother worshipping it?

  4. coragyps says

    When I was assisting in the slaughter of 16,000 Butterballs and their kin a day at the Ralston-Purina plant in Springdale, Arkansas, they killed halal, kosher, and goy turkeys all the same exact way. They hung them on a moving conveyor by their feet, turned off the electric stunner that actually only got them to flapping more, and slit their throats with sharp kitchen knives. After they bled out for a minute or so, the conveyor dipped them into a big tank of hot water to loosen feathers.

    The collective IQ of the three or four guys on the kill line was maybe 110. You never, ever wanted to walk up behind one of them on the job and tap them on the shoulder. Damage could result. To your throat.

    Kosher and non-Kosher turkeys, in those days of long ago, were differentiated by whether a “K” or “U” was on the plastic bag their cleaned carcass was stuffed into.

  5. RealityBasedSteve says

    The thing I think is funny is the money quote from TPM “ask them to stop selling these nefarious birds.” I’m sorry, I’ve never thought of turkeys as being particularly wicked or vile, and I’m sure that if you asked them, they would indicated that they just as soon not have their throats cut in the name of Allah, or Allen, or anybody else for that matter. (that might be giving too much credit to turkeys (domesticated). From what I’ve read the commercial breeds aren’t much brighter than a box of rocks. (which means that they are still smarter than Pamela “Shrieking Harpy” Geller.)


  6. Crommunist says

    @coragyps – I was not aware of that. Good to know. My understanding was that the halal/kosher method required quite a bit more than that.

    Why can’t we just gas them with carbon monoxide? Painless way to go, cheap to manufacture, stunning not required, and you can kill in mass quantities rather than one at a time.

  7. coragyps says

    Catch-22. If you gas them, they won’t bleed out, and the white meat won’t be white enough.

    And I’m sure we never had any turkeys marketed as halal in 1971. But some were kosher, just as some were Kroger.

  8. says

    Wait… You don’t want muslims to celebrate Thanksgiving but you do complain when they don’t want to do things like other americans.

  9. Aliasalpha says

    I’ve just realised something, how am I the first person to say how awesome the article picture is?

  10. anat says

    Actually both ‘U’ and ‘K’ marked meat (or any other foodstuff) are Kosher. See Product labeling standards.

    From there:

    Manufacturers sometimes identify the products that have received such certification by adding particular graphical symbols to the label. These symbols are known in Judaism as hechsherim. Due to differences in kashrut standards held by different organizations, the hechsheirim of certain Jewish authorities may at times be considered invalid by other Jewish authorities[citation needed]; the certification marks of the various rabbis and organisations are too numerous to list, but one of the most commonly used in the United States of America is that of the Union of Orthodox Congregations, who use a U inside a circle, symbolising the initials of Orthodox Union. A single K is sometimes used as a symbol for kosher, but since many countries do not allow letters to be trademarked (the method by which other symbols are protected from misuse), it only indicates that the company producing the product claims that it is kosher.

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