It looks like investigators have figured out most of the details of the last days of Gene Hackman and Betsy Arakawa.
The actor Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa, who were found dead last month in Santa Fe, New Mexico, were rarely apart from each other, and it’s that closeness that may have led to the circumstances of their deaths.
Arakawa had become Hackman’s caregiver in his later years when he developed Alzheimer’s disease and became incapable of carrying out even the simplest of tasks. She ran the household errands, made sure he remained active and protected him from illnesses.
Authorities in Santa Fe revealed on Friday that the couple had died of natural causes, Hackman from heart disease and Arakawa from a rare viral infection. Arakawa died first, perhaps on 11 February, when she was last seen or heard from. Investigators said in a press conference that Hackman, 95, was likely unaware that his wife had died.
Hackman’s pacemaker last recorded on February 17th so it appears that he lived alone for about six days after Arakawa’s death. How he managed to do so given what seems like late stage Alzheimer’s where he could not carry out even the simplest tasks is quite extraordinary.
While the latest medical information addresses most of the major issues surrounding the two deaths, there are still some loose ends. One is why just one of the dogs died. It looked like their three dogs were free to roam and could enter and leave the house through a pet door but the dead dog was in a kennel in a closet of the bathroom where Arakawa was found. They have not said what the dog died of or if his kennel was closed.
It does look like the couple did not have any hired help to help with cooking, cleaning, yard work, and taking care of Hackman, which is why the alarm was not raised for so long.
Taking care of someone with advanced Alzheimer’s disease is tremendously draining. Arakawa must have been an extraordinary woman to all by herself take care of Hackman and all the other things that a large house requires. But she was just 65 years of age and seemed to have been healthy until her death and so must have been doing everything. I am not sure why she imposed such a burden on herself since I am sure that they could well afford to hire people. Some people are just fiercely independent and do not like to delegate household tasks to others that they think they can do themselves and she may have been such a person. Or it may be that she was protective of Hackman’s image of being a robust figure and did not want anyone to see how he had deteriorated.
All in all, a sad story.
Old age is cruel. 😪
At the very least, Arakawa should have had someone call every day to check in. No matter her health, unforeseen things can happen. I was very conscious of this during the years I took care of my mother.
Having some experience with elder care, I know it’s not uncommon for family to try to take care of Alzheimer’s patients themselves and only turning to professional help when the strain becomes too much to bear.
I suspect it’s down to a feeling that you don’t want to “give up”; that to hand over care to others means you’re not doing your duty to a loved one. However, at a certain point, people need round-the-clock care and it’s just not possible for one person to do that. Rather than beating yourself up about that, you should just get the help you need to deal with that utter asshole of a disease.
@LykeX; I just went through the deaths of both my parents, about 18 months apart. They both had Alzheimer’s (and a bunch of other things) at the end.
I can tell you the absolutely disgust society has for women, and that cranks up to 11 when it comes to child or eldercare. Put a child in daycare or preschool, and you’re Cruella DeVille from 101 Dalmatians. Hire help to care for elderly parents while you work, and you’re 10x Cruella DeVille. You’ll be bombarded by idiots you barely know telling you that their sainted mother single-handedly raised a whole passel of kids while selflessly caring for bedridden elderly around the clock, and what a disgrace to womanhood you are for hiring daytime help so you can go to work.
But we don’t know if that was the dynamic in the Hackman household. It could be that one or both was worried about expenses--rightly or wrongly! Or they could have disliked the idea of people in their house. Or they simply couldn’t find anyone willing to drive all the way out there for the sub-poverty wages eldercare workers are paid.
I wasn’t 65 like Hackman’s wife, but I had daytime help and overnight help (a senior citizen neighbor who didn’t sleep nights and could call 9-1-1 or call me) and it was still exhausting because I was working all day, going to their home to cook and clean, then going to my own house to do it all over again. It’s astounding that Hackman’s wife managed as long as she did.
This is life without a safety net. A good friend of mine who is Dutch, has been bringing her mother to an eldercare day program for a couple of years now, at no cost to her. The daycare program feeds them breakfast and lunch, there’s a fulltime nurse and several aides on duty, and a doctor on call. Her mother is approaching the stage where she’ll need fulltime care, and they just saw a lawyer to exclude her home from being considered part of her assets. So the country will pick up the entire cost of her 24/7 care.
Bruce Willis’s wife has spoken about what caregivers go through and that they need care too.
The dog had just been operated on 2 days previously, so it was probably being kept in the kennel so it would not be up and about too soon.
I hope the estate succeeds in keeping the autopsy pictures private. Nobody needs to see that.
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2025/mar/14/gene-hackman-estate-goes-to-court-to-prevent-release-of-autopsy-pictures
I have elderly parents and can easily envision a scenario like theirs, so now I am being even more careful to make sure I am in good contact when I can be. I imagine what late-stage life care was like for 9th century peasants…
True devotion until the very end. A heartbreaking yet beautiful testament to their love.