Harnessing insomnia for the greater good

My wife and I tend to wake up far too early — just this morning she was complaining that she woke up at 3am and couldn’t get back to sleep. Me, I’m a lazy bones who snoozed until 4:30am.

But here’s a possibility: there are spiders that go hunting for sleeping prey at night, the Enoplognatha, or candy-striped spiders. All we need to do is get our boots on, gulp down some coffee, and drive out to a few places we know of that are frequented by hapless pollinators. Actually, maybe we should be checking out our backyard garden in late evening/early morning.

You know, you could help out, too. They’re pretty little spiders.

Today I am Death

As mentioned, my task for this morning was murdering spiders. Mission accomplished, and now I feel terrible.

It was a simple procedure. I put the vials of happy gamboling spiders into the refrigerator to calm them down and numb them — I gave them about 15 minutes of chill. Then I went into each vial with a paintbrush and teased them out, and they descended into a tube of icy, pre-cooled alcohol, where they died within minutes. Now their bodies are packed into a freezer, awaiting delivery to the person who will chop them up.

The worst part was going through the assortment of spiders in the colony and having to choose which ones would die.

You have to understand that this was the very first time I’ve had to kill an adult spider. I’ve been wiping out embryos right and left, and I’ve had adults die of natural causes — but actually terminating their existence by my hand? Unpleasant. I like my spiders lively and interesting. I’m a biologist, not a necrologist.

Learn something about Steatoda!

Here you go, an excellent introduction to the spiders I work on, the false widows.

I should probably require all my students to watch it, because it strikes a good balance on something I struggle with: venom. I tell my students it’s medically significant, a bite can hurt, and the venom can make you sick, but at the same time I tell them I’ve never been bitten, I handle them all the time, and as long as you’re gentle, there’s no real danger.

Also interesting is the geographical difference. I’ve never seen Steatoda grossa or S. nobilis around here — it’s all Parasteatoda (I know, different genus), with some S. triangulosa and rare S. borealis in specific habitats. McEnery makes the interesting hypothesis that it may be the venom, that Steatoda generally makes a venom that’s significantly more potent against invertebrates than the venoms of native species, allowing them to thrive and take over.

The adventure begins!

I’ll shortly be leaving Morris to drive for three hours to the airport, followed by a 5 hour flight to Syracuse, NY, and then I’ll be spending a few days listening to talks about spiders. It’s going to be simultaneously fascinating and grueling.

I have mixed feelings about conferences. On the one hand, the in-person real world experience is irreplaceable…but on the other, it’s expensive, time-consuming, and tiring. I’m thinking that what would be better for my health and sanity would be, for instance, in-person meetings one year alternating with online meetings every other year. Or maybe alternating the big meetings with local in-state meetings.

I guess I’m old and jaded.

But I’m still looking forward to this meeting, but honestly, what I most look forward to is the nocturnal spider walks. Let’s go see living spiders near a lake rather than looking at photos of spiders in an auditorium!

Our adventure is off to a poor start. Our flight from MSP to ORD has been delayed by 2.5 hours. We’re supposed to have a 2 hour layover in Chicago. I’m not sure how time and math work, but I think that means we’ll miss our connecting flight and we might get stuck in Chicago for a while. This does not make me happy.

Worsening news. Flight delayed a couple more hours. Beginning to believe it’s all a scam by United airlines.

Mission actually accomplished

We did it! We got our poster done and printed!

We’re flying off to the American Arachnology Society meeting the week of 24 June, so we even finished ahead of time. There have been meetings where I’m still slicing up copy with an X-acto knife and adding Letraset text the night before — but those were the Olden Times. Now that we can just jiggle things on a computer screen and send it to a printer, now we get it done a week and a half ahead of time.

We also got our registration and housing paid for, and booked our flight to Syracuse…and there’s the catch. The meeting is at Cornell, and we don’t quite know how to bridge that last hour of the trip. There’s no public transportation from the airport to the university! (That’s much like UMM, only we’re 3 hours away from the airport.) We’ll figure that out this week, and if nothing else, we’ll throw money at an uber.

As you might expect, the poster is liberally covered with spiders, so I’ll refrain from posting it here — you’ll have to join my Patreon to see it…or come to the meeting! You’ll see even more spiders!

But I was joking!

You know this podish-sortacast that Freethoughtblogs runs? At the end of the last one, we were talking about new topics, and I casually threw out “SPIDERS” expecting everyone would actually pick something of broader general interest. The jokes on me, because guess what we’re talking about on Saturday?

I can probably think of something to say. Whether it is of interest is a different question.

Summer plans

I have turned in all my grades, and it’s beginning to sink in that there will not be a relaxing summer of relaxation. We’ve got an arachnology conference coming up at the end of June — the core data is all done, but we’ve got some details to fill in and lots of pretty photos to take, and we have an ongoing project in putting together a staging series. We’re also going to make some field trips throughout the summer to get out of the lab and see some sunshine and more exotic spiders. I’m also reviving my course in developmental ecology next spring, so I’ve got to do all the prep work for that this summer.

I just want to take a nap.

Ball o’ spiders

Isn’t technology wonderful?

That reminds me, I have many balls of spiders to tend to this morning.

Run/fly away, little fellas, I have cruel plans in mind

Started a big project today — we have a fate in mind for all these spiders my lab is churning out. It will be an interesting fate for me, but alas, not at all healthy for the spiders. I’ll be keeping my Patreon followers informed, the rest of you will have to wait until the Fall.

I’m going to be redoubling my spider farming efforts for a while. I literally had baby spiders nesting in my beard this morning, and I just now had one crawl out of my shirt cuff. It’s a good thing I like the little fellas. Which makes it sad that this kind of a meatgrinder project. I’m going to be the Cruella DeVille of spiders.