Can prayer help surgery?

The American Journal of Surgery has published a transcript of a presidential address titled, “Can prayer help surgery?“, and my first thought was that that was absolutely brilliant — some guy was roped into giving a big speech at a convention, and he picked a topic where he could stand up, say “NO,” and sit back down again. If he wanted to wax eloquent, maybe he could add a “Don’t be silly” to his one word address.

But a reader sent me a copy of this paper, and I was wrong. The author spent four pages saying “Yes”. It flies off to cloud cuckoo land in the very first sentence, which compares prayer to “chemotherapy and radiation as adjuvant therapies to surgery, working synergistically to cure cancers”, and then justifies it by pointing out that patients do internet searches for alternatives to surgery, and prayer is a popular result. So, right there in the first paragraph, we get the Argument from Extravagant Assertion and the Argument from Google. It’s not a good start.

This was given at a professional conference, though, so he has to talk about the data, and this is where it starts getting funny. He explains that there sure have been a lot of prayer studies lately, 855 in the past 15 years, and with 46 prospective randomized series in the Cochrane database, which he summarizes succinctly:

Equal healing benefit has been demonstrated whether the prayer is Hindu or Buddhist, Catholic or Protestant, Jewish or Muslim.

That’s the way to spin the data into something positive. Unfortunately, this is the happy peak of his foray into actually looking at the data, putting a cheerful universalist twist on the actual results, which he later grudgingly admits are non-existent. When they all show no benefit, that is equal benefit, after all.

Can medical science prove the benefit of prayer to im- prove the result of an operation? I refer you to the latest Cochrane review on this topic.5 This 69-page manuscript is a meta-analysis of 10 prospective randomized studies on intercessory prayer to help the efforts of modern medicine involving over 7,000 patients. Some studies in this meta- analysis showed benefit, while others did not. The conclusion of the authors was that there is no indisputable proof that intercessory prayer lowers surgical complications or improves mortality rates.

That’s the point where he should have stopped and stood down. The science has answered his question, and the answer is no. Unfortunately, this admission is at the top of page two, and he’s going to go on and on. He rants that the studies all basically suck — there can’t be good controls, people would pray for themselves, they didn’t check how devout the prayers were, and of course, that most excellent catch-all refutation, “What happens when the outcome being prayed for is not in accord with the will of God?”

The paper can be summarized so far as an argument that prayer helps because there have been a lot of studies on it, and those studies all show equal benefit, but that benefit is zero, and the studies are all bad science. How can his thesis be saved? Oh, I know: needs more anecdotes.

There is no indisputable proof that prayer can aid in healing. Those who believe do so by faith alone. I’ve seen the power of prayer work together with surgery many times firsthand. An example of this was witnessing my father-in-law miraculously survive an aortic arch dissection, outliving his surgeon by 20 years.

Wait, what? The family prayed, a skilled surgeon saved the patient, so prayer works? And also, from this one story, shouldn’t we just as reasonably conclude that prayer kills surgeons?

The rest of the paper is empty noise about how many patients want to pray and how it makes them feel better emotionally, and how the author is wonderfully open and supportive in praying with his patients. Meandering over the field of anecdote and citing his patients’ wishful thinking does not rescue his premise from the pit of rejection, I’m afraid; the only accurate answer to the question of whether prayer helps in surgery is “No, but people like to think it does.” It certainly doesn’t justify the author’s conclusion.

So, have I answered the question, “Can prayer help surgery?” While there is not conclusive scientific proof that prayer improves surgical outcomes, it certainly can help
relax an anxious preoperative patient and may help enhance the relationship between patient and surgeon. A surgeon must be comfortable with prayer to offer it. Professionalism can be maintained provided the prayer is offered in a non- confrontational manner and reflects the spirituality of the patient. Surgeons who want the best for their patients need to utilize every tool available, and to quote one of my patients, “Prayer is a powerful tool.”

Nah. Let me add a better quote: “The author is a powerful fool.” If he actually escaped unscathed from this address without being splattered by flung rubber chicken and puddin’ cups, my opinion of surgeons will be shattered.

Schroder DM (2011) Presidential Address: Can prayer help surgery? The American Journal of Surgery 201:275-278

The Brits are going to be insufferable for a while

I can tell. It’s coming. A royal heir has gotten engaged to some young woman, and there will be one of those royal weddings, and the sentimental argle-bargle in the British media will soar to new heights of fatuousness. I’ll miss most of it, fortunately, but I pity everyone in the United Kingdom who’s going to have to suffer with the royal romanticism for a while.

At least this time the Telegraph has set the bar for stupidity abysmally low, and I have no idea how anyone else willl sink lower (the fun will be in the trying, I’m sure). Someone has found a jelly bean that looks like Kate Middleton.

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I don’t know what this means. Even the candy-making machines in jelly bean factories are infatuated with tabloid press stories about the imminent wedding, and are pressing their obsessions into sugar and gelatin? Kate’s visage is so potent that speckles and spots are spontaneously rejiggering themselves to conform? Or, perhaps, credulous idiots are rife in both the public and tabloid editorial rooms?

I suggest that The Telegraph document this novel property of random dots and send a reporter/photographer to the nearest sewage treatment plant and gaze adoringly into the feculent froth until more detailed images of connubial Windsorness bubble to the surface.

Friggatriskaidekaphobia time

I have an excuse to visit Philadelphia this May: I’ll be attending the Friggatriskaidekaphobia party that Margaret Downey will be putting on on Friday, the 13th of May, along with Tom Flynn.

Meet Tom Flynn, along with PZ Myers, at the Freethought Society (FS)’s 2011 Anti-Superstition Bashon Friday, May 13, 2011 from 7:00 PM to 11:00 PM in the beautiful Corinthian Yacht Club on 300 West 2nd Street, Essington, PA (just minutes from the Philadelphia Airport). FS will host a “Friggatriskaidekaphobia Treatment Center,” which will be equipped to assist party attendees in getting over all their superstitions and starting the process of ending magical thinking. Enjoy food, dancing, drinking and camaraderie.

Get rid of your secret superstitions! Anti-superstition “nurses” and “doctors” will be on hand to cure you. Enjoy a DJ Dance Party featuring Ladder Limbo, Horoscope Trashing, Open-Your-Umbrellas, fast and slow dances, Mirror Breaking Ceremony, and more! Cash bar and free hors d’oeuvres, door prizes and free educational literature will be available!

The general admission (includes light fare) is $10 with $5 discounts available for students and seniors. Cash bar only. No BYOB. There is no charge for children under the age of 13. The Club is located at 300 West 2nd Street, Essington, PA 19029.

If you will be attending, please email tickets@FtSociety.org.

I’m a little worried about the dance party business, though. I think seeing me dance would be bad luck.

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I hope there will be many Philadelphians in attendance!

CONvergence and SkepChickCon

I’m giving you advanced warning: the awesome science fiction convention, CONvergence, will be taking place in Bloomington, Minnesota on 30 June-3 July. You should go. Really. It will be fun, and I’m always telling atheist activists to go to a few science fiction conventions — they have mastered the art of being inclusive, interesting, diverse, and interactive. Even if you aren’t an SF fan, go to one and study the mechanics, they work.

CONvergence has another distinction, in that the Skepchicks have attached themselves leechlike to the larger con to run a skeptics’ track. So yes, you should go for the fun parties attended by strange people in exotic costumes and the panel discussions on how to survive Zombie Armageddon, but you can also sit in on entertaining and educational sessions on critical thinking and science.

Go forth and register now.

I only want them if they let me shoot lightning bolts out of my arms

What is it with these stupid, cheap silicone wrist bands? It seems every scam artist in the country is selling these things along with claims that they have amazing magical powers, and people must be buying them. Here’s a promotional video for Energy Armor — “NEGATIVE IONS!”

This is their explanation for how these are supposed to work. I think. Somehow, a little honesty slipped into the middle of the fairy tale.

The Energy Armor wristband has taken these good ions, which are known as “negative ions”, and have found a way to infuse them into a durable silicone band. There is no secret machine that magically inserts an electrical charge into our hologram. The reason is simple; that is scientifically impossible. The Energy Armor infusing process allows the Ions to continually release Negative Ions when in contact with your body.

OK. It’s scientifically impossible. I guess that means that $25 for a rubbery little impossible miracle is a really good deal.

Psychic powers provide comfort and therapy. Sure.

That’s the message the despicable John Edward and Dr Oz tried to give in a recent television program. I knew Edward was beneath contempt, but I’ve never watched Oz and had only heard second-hand that he was a woo-meister…but this show confirms it. Even worse, Oz brought in a critic, Katherine Nordal, to assess Edward’s psychic readings, and she has since complained about what the show did with her commentary.

In a letter to producers of “The Dr. Oz” show Nordal said, “I provided very balanced responses to Dr. Oz’s questions during the show’s taping, however, the editing of my responses did not capture my full comments or give viewers an accurate portrayal of my professional view on John Edward’s methods. Instead, it seems that ‘The Doctor Oz’ show intentionally edited my responses in a way that gave the appearance of my endorsement of Edward’s methods as a legitimate intervention.”

Keep that in mind, skeptics, if you’re ever asked to participate in one of these scammy shows: they want you for window dressing, to give an air of critical evaluation to their games, but they won’t hesitate to mangle your words. We already know that psychics are liars and con artists, why should we expect them to treat anyone honorably?

And then…oh, man, this is evil ghoulishness. Edward did one of his typical fishing expeditions, saying someone who had lost a child was present, and getting a gullible victim to volunteer for a little torture and exploitation.

This was unbelievable.

His next victim (patient?) was a middle-aged man who rose to his feet when Edward suggested someone had lost a son. As the reading continued, Edward informed the grief-stricken parent that the car accident that claimed his son’s life was in fact a suicide.

“I’ve never known that he committed suicide for sure,” said the grieving father, “but I believe it.”

Edward is making this stuff up as he goes along; he is taking the grief of a heart-broken parent and twisting it and making it harder, sharper, more painful. And he’s getting paid for it.

Jebus, but I hate these amoral psychopaths, these molesters of memories, these exploiters of tragedy.

And Oz is an enabler, the monster’s assistant.

One well-placed meteor could wipe out the entire skeptical movement!

Holy crap, have you seen the line up for The Amaz!ng Meeting? Everyone is going to be there, except maybe the Chinese army and a forgotten marching band in Lithuania. How are they going to schedule this monster? How many people are they going to have attend…or are they all signed up to present talks?

I know DJ told me I was supposed to give a talk, but I may only get 10 minutes on the stage at this rate. The theme this year is “TAM 9 From Outer Space”, and they’re going to focus on space science and skepticism, with a whole throng of astrophycist/astronomers getting top billing. It’s a good thing I’m going, though: I’m planning to talk about aliens and bad biology, so they need someone to bring them down to earth.

Maybe we should just stage a brawl: me against all the unemployed Klingons from the now-defunct Star Trek Experience. Oh, wait, I think they’re busy — they’re probably all signed up to present at TAM!

Bravo, Oregon!

The Oregon House has passed a bill removing the special protections for faith healers. Sorry, god-botherers in Oregon, you don’t get to claim the approval of gods to justify torturing, maiming, and killing your children with neglect.

It passed unanimously, too, although of course a couple of Rethuglicans had to voice reservations. Why? Because they’re idiots.

Rep. Jim Weidner, R-Yamhill, said he worried “we might be heading down a slippery slope.” He said he prayed earlier in the day about his son’s severe tonsillitis. His wife took his son to the doctor Thursday morning, he added, but “am I going to go to prison because I took the time to pray with my child?”

No. Notice the part where his wife took his son to the doctor? That’s what’s important. Not whether he also mumbled magic words, or patted the kid on the head, or went home and sacrificed a chicken for the child’s good health. All that matters is that you don’t neglect necessary care because your superstitions say it is alright.

Plan for Skepticon IV

It’s in the works: Skepticon IV will be held in October, and the organizers are straining to bring the resources together they need to make it happen. If you’d like to donate, this is a good time, since Polaris Financial is providing matching funds for any contribution made in March.

They haven’t announced the speakers at the event, but look at the list of past speakers to see how it has grown.