An exploding aardvark whispered in my ear that we have a new candidate for governor here in Minnesota: Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey.
Honesty is very seldom heard nowadays, especially from a politician. So, I am not going to break from political tradition. My name is Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, Ph.D., L.D.D.D. I am a Satanic Dark Priest, Sanguinarian Vampyre and a Hecate Witch. My Magikal Path name is: Lord Ares.
The first two sentences taken together are a little amusing, but I’m sill not planning to vote for the guy. He’s a former Republican (surprise!), but has now founded his own party, VWP. The Vampires, Witches, and Pagans Party.
Are you wondering how he got his nickname?
As previously stated by me, any Terrorist who commits
an act of Terrorism in Minnesota while I am governor,
will be Impaled by me in front of the State Capital.
He’s also planning to run for president in 2008. I could see him stepping into GW Bush’s shoes easily. The Religious Right might not care much for him, but otherwise, he’s the perfect representative of Republican sentiments.