I know there are changes coming, but you just have to make the best of them. For instance, the Brexiteers are trying to legislate animal pain out of existence.

The Tory Government has outdone itself when it comes to neglecting animal rights this week – by effectively declaring that all animals (apart from humans, of course) have no emotions or feelings, including the ability to feel pain. While debating the Brexit bill, MPs voted not to transfer into UK law the parts of EU legislation which recognise animals have sentience, and can feel pain and emotions.

You’d think that they’d have noticed that Charles Darwin, who was as British as they get, wrote a whole book (The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals) on the subject, and came to a different conclusion. But sure, you can discard your history of scientific endeavor.

The good news is that if pain and suffering and emotions can be taken away with just the right omission in your law books, Brexit is going to go well. Just deny the emotions. Don’t stop with animals, just erase all human concerns away. If you reject their existence, you’ll be able to stand silently through all kinds of loss and deprivation with a stiff upper lip, and not much more. If you need occasional relief, just poke a Tory with your umbrella — they won’t care, they’re in an even more advanced state of unfeeling. It’s like a witch’s mark, only all over their body.

You won’t be alone, either. The US is going to get a major stress test tomorrow, and I’m trying to deal with it by denying all emotions, too. I may have to get myself comfortably numb to make it through the next few days. Akvavit might help.

His rotting corpse has been invited to speak at NYU to a teeming crowd of 14 students.

In a class sure to spook liberals, NYU’s controversial anti-PC Professor Michael Rectenwald has enlisted conservative provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos to speak Wednesday about “the politics of Halloween.”

Apparently, the professor wants the shambling zombie to address the pressing topic of why he can’t dress up in blackface or as Hitler on Halloween without people looking at him like he’s a sick goon with no social graces at all. He just doesn’t get it.

I presume the professor will also show up in costume. Probably dressed as a dinosaur.

One who wasn’t a clown bloated with hate? This might stir up a few recollections.

That’s the kind of guy I’d like to sit down and have a beer with.

It was recommended that I look at The Stranger’s political endorsements for the 2018 election in Washington state — they’re great. If I still lived in Washington, I’d have a crystal-clear idea of who I’d vote for in November. There isn’t a single man mentioned until the 9th race they cover! That’s becoming my rule of thumb now, when in doubt, vote for the woman.

It’s not always a good rule, because there are horrible women, too. For example, here in Minnesota we have a non-partisan election for the Minnesota Supreme Court, with Margaret Chutich vs. Michelle MacDonald. Oh no! Both women! How will I decide? Well, it turns out MacDonald is running because Chutich is married to a woman.

In a recent interview, MacDonald singled out Chutich’s sexuality as helping her decide who to challenge in this year’s election. Three other members of the court are on the ballot this year but are unopposed. “It factored in, but it wasn’t the only reason,” MacDonald said. “ … When that came to me, that piece, I’m just like, ‘Yep, that’s the one.’ ”

MacDonald said she views Chutich’s marital status as her right but cast it as a “liberal view” counter to MacDonald’s conservative philosophy.

“Spiritually, the reason why you connect with somebody is to procreate, basically,” MacDonald said. “And I’m pro-life. You can certainly publish that. I’m not afraid to be pro-life.”

Modified rule of thumb: when in doubt, vote for the lesbian.

Also, her opponent is named “Michelle”. Minnesota Michelle’s tend to be a bit…problematic.

The elections in Minnesota don’t have the clarity of the one’s in Washington, Chutich not withstanding. I’ve got to go in with a clothespin over my nose because too many of our choices stink. Locally, or state rep is Collin Peterson, a blue dog Democrat who opposes abortion rights, because we’re in a rural conservative district and he’s the kind of guy the Trumpistanis out here will support. I can’t stand him. Most years I look at his standing before the election, and if it looks like he’s going to win it in a walk I just abstain from voting for him. Of course, if that’s the kind of Democrat we get out here, you can imagine what kind of slobbering, barely-evolved horror he gets to oppose him from the Republican side, and what kind of odors the ballot is exuding.

You can look at OurRevolution’s 2018 endorsements. They don’t even mention my congressional district. They’re just quietly looking the other way and recognizing that we’re hopeless.

I’m also unhappy with the gubernatorial race. Our Dem candidate is Tim Walz, another conservative Democrat who was taking lots of money from the NRA and is condescendingly position by the state DFL as the kind of guy who will do well “outstate” — the term Twin Cities politicians use for all us yokels living out in the sticks. It’s our local version of “flyover country”. There’s always someone lower than you to sneer at.

I’ll probably vote for him, because his opponent is an even bigger asshole.

And then there’s the tragic case of Keith Ellison, who is running for state attorney general. He has had multiple accusations of abusing his girlfriends, which have been investigated and found baseless…but still, it’s undeniable that the women he’s been in relationships with end up not liking him very much. This is another case where I’d be leery of voting for him, except that his opponent, Doug Wardlow, is stunningly regressive, openly transphobic and homophobic, and a proud member of the Alliance Defending Freedom. Just ask the SPLC about the ADF.

Founded by some 30 leaders of the Christian Right, the Alliance Defending Freedom is a legal advocacy and training group that has supported the recriminalization of homosexuality in the U.S. and criminalization abroad; has defended state-sanctioned sterilization of trans people abroad; has linked homosexuality to pedophilia and claims that a “homosexual agenda” will destroy Christianity and society. ADF also works to develop “religious liberty” legislation and case law that will allow the denial of goods and services to LGBT people on the basis of religion. Since the election of President Donald Trump, the ADF has become one of the most influential groups informing the administration’s attack on LGBT rights working with an ally in Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

Yeah, no.

Anyway, I hope everyone is planning to turn out and VOTE. Even if your ballot reeks a bit and you have to wash your hands afterwards. If you don’t vote now, you’re going to have to wear a biohazard suit to enter the voting booth in 2020.