Oh, jeez…the Republican candidates tried to pick their own code names

In the debate, the Republicans were asked what code names they wanted if they became president. The only appropriate response to such a stupid question is “What? Presidents don’t pick their code names.” There are also guidelines for the selection of such names.

According to established protocol, good codewords are unambiguous words that can be easily pronounced and readily understood by those who transmit and receive voice messages by radio or telephone regardless of their native language. Traditionally, all family members’ code names start with the same letter.

The codenames change over time for security purposes, but are often publicly known. For security, codenames are generally picked from a list of such ‘good’ words, but avoiding the use of common words which could likely be intended to mean their normal definitions.

They’re not grand statements about your dreams and ideals! So what did the candidates do? They picked ludicrously unusable thumpery.

Chris Christie: True Heart (Going for irony, I guess…something about corruption would be more appropriate)
John Kasich: Unit One (Just announce you’re a boring nonentity, already)
Carly Fiorina: Secretariat (She’s comparing herself to a horse?)
Scott Walker: Harley (Union Made in the USA!)
Jeb Bush: Ever-Ready (For what? )
Donald Trump: Humble (Derp.)
Ben Carson: One Nation (Simultaneously arrogant and incomprehensible. It’s perfect)
Ted Cruz: Cohiba (Speak English! And cigars are bad for you.)
Marco Rubio: Gator (McKlusky? Played by Burt Reynolds? I suddenly feel like this is an Archer episode)
duckhuntMike Huckabee: Duck Hunter (the resemblance is uncanny)
Rand Paul: Justice Never Sleeps (“Batman” would be shorter)

I give up. This election is going to be a circus.

I did not watch the Republican debate

It would be good to be politically informed, but I think the GOP and the media have colluded to produce noisy spectacle and pointless demagoguery, so I skipped the whole thing — we all have better things to do with 3 hours than watch out-of-touch prudes and bigots purse their lips and yell. Also, I knew I could get a better digest of what was said on the web today.

It turns out I was right, and didn’t miss anything important. I checked the big name news sites, too, and they’re pulling the same shit they always do: what are the rankings in the horse race? Who ‘won’ this debate? Who delivered the best zingers? I want to know what policies (they’re Republican, I can guess they’re all heinous) they’re pushing, not who got win, place, and show among the yahoos.

I did learn that Carly Fiorina’s magic solution to all problems is to increase the size of the military. And she was considered the ‘winner’.

Has the media no shame?

A terrible Rolling Stone interview of Trump really can’t get past the superficial crap: he’s rich. He’s number one in the polls. He’s gonna go all the way. The interviewer seems to have absorbed Trump’s perspective with all the exposure. It really needed a reporter who’d point out the problems with a political class defined by wealth, the media’s childish infatuation with poll position, and that coasting on gas and bluster isn’t substantive. But this is what we’ve got, and even in this tedious paint-by-numbers review, the full Trump ghastliness can’t help but erupt outwards.

When the anchor throws to Carly Fiorina for her reaction to Trump’s momentum, Trump’s expression sours in schoolboy disgust as the camera bores in on Fiorina. Look at that face! he cries. Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?! The laughter grows halting and faint behind him. I mean, she’s a woman, and I’m not s’posedta say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?

No, we’re not serious. The fact that a loud, crass, profoundly stupid clown like Donald Trump is dominating the election news says that politics and the media in this country are not serious at all.

The incredible shrinking number

About four dozen people showed near the Judicial Building at the State Capitol complex in St. Paul to counter protest individuals who had planned on holding a rally in defense of the Confederate Flag on Saturday, September 5, 2015. The Confederate Flag rally organizer BC Johnson, who had intended to rally at the State Capitol said the event was relocated to Savage Community Park. He estimates 10 people showed up. (Pioneer Press: John Autey)

About four dozen people showed near the Judicial Building at the State Capitol complex in St. Paul to counter protest individuals who had planned on holding a rally in defense of the Confederate Flag on Saturday, September 5, 2015. The Confederate Flag rally organizer BC Johnson, who had intended to rally at the State Capitol said the event was relocated to Savage Community Park. He estimates 10 people showed up. (Pioneer Press: John Autey)

We have hateful loons here in Minnesota, too. A group calling itself the Minnesota 10,000 for Southern Heritage tried to organize a rally for the Confederate flag in the state capitol today. It turns out the 10,000 was a wee bit optimistic.

They applied for a permit to hold their rally, and had to estimate how many would attend: they guessed…25.

The rally was held this morning. A counter-demonstration was scheduled that brought in about 50 people, and when they heard about it, the chickenpoops waving the traitor’s flag ran away and held their rally in a park, instead.

About 10 people showed up.

I think they need to change their name to the Minnesota 10 for Southern Heritage.

A remarkable degree of disrespect

Iowa-logo

The University of Iowa has been looking for a new president. You might be wondering how a university president gets that position: they are appointed by the Board of Regents, which in this case is appointed by the Republican governor, Terry Branstad, and led by a prominent Republican, Bruce Rastetter. You might be having presentiments of trouble already, since the GOP is never a friend to higher ed.

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Jailed

This is unexpected — I thought fines were forthcoming, but Kim Davis is apparently also going to jail.

Federal District Judge David Bunning held Kim Davis, the county clerk who has become a national symbol of anti-gay animus for her resistance to marriage equality, in contempt of court on Thursday. According to Dan Griffin, a reporter for local news station WSAZ, she was led out by U.S. Marshals. The judge reportedly said that financial sanctions were not enough to ensure her compliance with the law.

Also, while she’s absent from office, other county officials have the power to issue marriage licenses. So her obstruction is at an end.