In the debate, the Republicans were asked what code names they wanted if they became president. The only appropriate response to such a stupid question is “What? Presidents don’t pick their code names.” There are also guidelines for the selection of such names.
According to established protocol, good codewords are unambiguous words that can be easily pronounced and readily understood by those who transmit and receive voice messages by radio or telephone regardless of their native language. Traditionally, all family members’ code names start with the same letter.
The codenames change over time for security purposes, but are often publicly known. For security, codenames are generally picked from a list of such ‘good’ words, but avoiding the use of common words which could likely be intended to mean their normal definitions.
They’re not grand statements about your dreams and ideals! So what did the candidates do? They picked ludicrously unusable thumpery.
Chris Christie:True Heart(Going for irony, I guess…something about corruption would be more appropriate)
John Kasich:Unit One(Just announce you’re a boring nonentity, already)
Carly Fiorina:Secretariat(She’s comparing herself to a horse?)
Scott Walker:Harley(Union Made in the USA!)
Jeb Bush:Ever-Ready(For what? )
Ben Carson:One Nation(Simultaneously arrogant and incomprehensible. It’s perfect)
Ted Cruz:Cohiba(Speak English! And cigars are bad for you.)
Marco Rubio:Gator(McKlusky? Played by Burt Reynolds? I suddenly feel like this is an Archer episode)
Mike Huckabee:Duck Hunter(the resemblance is uncanny)
Rand Paul:Justice Never Sleeps(“Batman” would be shorter)
I give up. This election is going to be a circus.