We have a new Pope, same as all the old Popes


It’s some American guy named Robert Prevost who has now accepted the purported mantle of infallibility and divine favor from an imaginary god. Just once I’d like to see one of these clerical nobodies admit that they don’t have any special powers and therefore need to turn down the unjustified honor. But no, this one is calling himself Pope Leo XIV and is already spewing pious declarations.

He does meet one of the necessary prerequisites to be a Catholic authority figure: he does have a distinguished history of concealing child-rape accusations against the priesthood.

OK, everyone, we can go back to ignoring and occasionally sneering at the ridiculous man at the top of the hierarchy.

Comments

  1. says

    Bluesky: Here he is, tweeting a rebuke to JD Vance over disappearing people and ignoring due process.
    Me: Okay, first good impression, at least.
    Bluesky: Here’s him being homophobic.
    Me: And first impression ruined already.

  2. KG says

    PZM@3,

    Well that’s the scandalous rumour – and I’ve yet to see that he’s denied it!

  3. KG says

    According to the BBC:

    During his time as archbishop in Peru he has not escaped the sexual abuse scandals that have clouded the Church, however his diocese fervently denied he had been involved in any attempted cover-up.

    So, the meta-cover-up is well under way!

  4. rx808 says

    The church is perhaps concerned about the United States slipping completely out of their grasp, or maybe trying to forestall a schism?

  5. cartomancer says

    Oh, another old white guy. How daring. I’m glad they’re getting some representation in public life at last.

  6. says

    rx808: Or maybe the reactionaries are rallying around a US culture-warrior type to stop any further liberalization.

  7. stuffin says

    Funny, I don’t care one way or the other. Whoever was elected is just the next figurehead of the biggest scamming organization on earth. Trump is making a run at that though. He is most likely jealous with them being held to a standard where they are not accountable for their heinous crimes.

  8. Alverant says

    He’s from Chicago. That means Portillo’s is now sacred ground, tavern-style pizza is holy, and if you don’t accept deep dish as pizza, you’re excommunicated.

  9. Rob Grigjanis says

    What’s more ridiculous? The choice of a bunch of befrocked fossils, or the choice of the American public? Interesting times indeed.

  10. billseymour says

    Well, that was fast.  I guess the good news is that we’re already done with TV news shows breathlessly reporting that there’s nothing to report; and all we have left is fawning over some guy because…uh…because he’s the pope!  With any luck, that won’t continue past the weekend.

    Alverant @15:  Maybe they should have elected Pizzaballa.

  11. John Morales says

    “… and all we have left is fawning over some guy because…uh…because he’s the pope!”

    Makes him head of State, too (we can thank Mussolini for that one):

    “The politics of Vatican City take place in a framework of a theocratic absolute elective monarchy, in which the Pope, religiously speaking, the leader of the Catholic Church and Bishop of Rome, exercises ex officio supreme legislative, executive, and judicial power over the Vatican City as it is being governed by the Holy See,[1] a rare case of non-hereditary monarchy.

    The term “Holy See” refers to the composite of the authority, jurisdiction, and sovereignty vested in the Pope and his advisers to direct the worldwide Catholic Church. It is therefore quite distinct from the Vatican City state, which was created in 1929, through the Lateran treaties between the Holy See and Italy.

    As the “central government” of the Catholic Church, the Holy See has a legal personality that allows it to enter into treaties as the juridical equal of a state and to send and receive diplomatic representatives. It has formal diplomatic relations with 179 nations.[2] The State of Vatican City, for its part, is recognized under international law as a sovereign territory. Unlike the Holy See, it does not receive or send diplomatic representatives, and the Holy See acts on its behalf in international affairs.”

  12. John Watts says

    Wowee-zowee! Social justice warriors rejoice. Or maybe not? Fuck if I know. What I do know is this is as relevant to me as learning who the guy in charge of Scientology is. Now that all the breathless “eyes of the world are on this” and “waiting with bated breath” are over, this Leo cat can disappear into the bowels of the Vatican and make his meaningless pronouncements and deliver homilies to the flock on special occasions. Unless you’re a Catholic, who gives a damn?

  13. John Morales says

    Also, health issues: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_Church_and_health_care

    “The Catholic Church is the largest non-government provider of health care services in the world.[1] It has around 18,000 clinics, 16,000 homes for the elderly and those with special needs, and 5,500 hospitals, with 65 percent of them located in developing countries.[2] In 2010, the Church’s Pontifical Council for the Pastoral Care of Health Care Workers said that the Church manages 26% of the world’s health care facilities.[3] The Church’s involvement in health care has ancient origins.”

  14. Alverant says

    Kathi Rick 17, 18
    That’s still a great video. The animation is great. Looking forward to Thunderfist.

  15. stuffin says

    So much Pope news, these are our holy leaders. I guess pedophilia is a minor sin.

    Stuffable pastas such as ravioli, as well as whole chickens, have previously not been condoned for conclave consumption, as messages could be easily concealed in them. Indeed, food at the conclaves began to be inspected around the 16th century for secret notes—with high security surveillance in the kitchens where meals were prepared.

    Around the same time in history, cardinals who died amid the conclave were suspected to have done so because of poisoned food. As such, cardinals began taking turns acting as poison testers, and once one cardinal ate food without ailment, the others joined in, Chef Bartolomeo Scappi—a famed Vatican cook—noted in his written works from the era.

  16. John Morales says

    phillipbrown, Mencken was a good atheist and had some good opinions, but he is dead wrong in listing a bunch of deities/powers and claiming “All were omnipotent, omniscient and immortal.”

    That’s just not true.

    (He also thought mathematics was metaphysics, which is also not correct)

  17. robro says

    John Morales @ #29 _ To “‘All were omnipotent, omniscient and immortal'” you replied, “That’s just not true.” It’s also not true of the gods of the Hebrew Bible. It’s probably not true of the Christian Bible, at least the older parts.

  18. silentsanta says

    Everybody talks about how the pope candidate can’t be “too” permissive towards the LGBTQ community or risk revolt from an important bloc of the Catholic church. I would like to see more people mention that perhaps the Pope candidates have to show a suitably permissive attitude towards covering for child molesters or risk revolt from an important bloc of the Catholic church: their own clergy.

    It defies belief that Catholic leadership have repeatedly shown they can’t select candidates who haven’t been tainted by the sexual abuse coverup scandals. It seems that a hypothesis with better predictive power is that those selecting these Popes view their leniency towards (and reshuffling of) child molester priests as precisely part of the traits that qualify these men for the role.

  19. John Morales says

    silentsanta, it’s no different with Methodists or Mormons or Anglicans or whatevers.
    Or with Buddhist or Islamic or whatever religions, either.

    Single significant salient thing with Catholicism is that priests must be (1) celibate and (2) men.

    (But then, that’s not so rare, either)

    Anyway, it’s not like they’re very special in that way.

  20. says

    To be his age, he must have plenty of worldly experience. Therefore he has no excuse for being ignorant, homophobic, or totaliarian. Thus, he is just playing his role, as have we all. So unoriginal.

  21. says

    cardinals who died amid the conclave were suspected to have done so because of poisoned food

    Poisons come in relatively few forms that act with any predictability/speed. Other than as a foil in daytime drama, anything that make someone sick enough to die predictably and fast will still be active in their food long enough to feed it to their servers, etc. That may be part of the problem. Poisons that are fast enough and sure enough are going to be pretty easy to detect (e.g.: neurotoxins, or cyanide) once they take effect. The longer-acting poisons (polonium-219) are easier to target via food but leave traces in terms of origin. As far as poisons go, I think the nastiest is to get the victim addicted to smoking. Opium is doing them a favor.

  22. =8)-DX says

    @silentsanta #31

    It defies belief that Catholic leadership have repeatedly shown they can’t select candidates who haven’t been tainted by the sexual abuse coverup scandals.

    It’s not so difficult to believe when you realise large portions of the Catholic leadership have repeatedly tainted themselves in sexual abuse coverup scandals, whether though incompetence, inaction or self-serving malice. I’d be surprised if there even are any top-level clergy free from that stain. The culpability for hiding sex crimes is shared throughout the hierarchy and when a whole convocation of under-the-rug-sweepers and look-the-other-wayers chooses a leader from amongst themselves, the cardinal stink of abuse coverups will be as Catholic as it is universal.
    =8)-DX

  23. Silentbob says

    @ ^

    Yes. Which makes Morales attempts at normalisation all the grotesque. :-(

  24. mordred says

    It seems the Magats don’t like the new guy. “Woke, marxist Pope”?

    To bad we all know they are liars.

  25. birgerjohansson says

    The whole ‘woke marxist pope’ is hilarious. With a bit of luck this pope may increase Drump’s blood pressure enough for him to [REDACTED], at which point maybe we should pardon the new pope for his past sins.
    Popes are usually bad, but not recently MAGA bad.

  26. birgerjohansson says

    And when Leo in turn has total existence failure they should appoint Papa Nihil, the Dark Pope. No luggage with pedophiles, and unlike Jesus he gets resurrected in front of plenty of witnesses.
    (See the 4-minute mark)
    .https://youtube.com/watch?v=1J7XhedAA2E

  27. says

    @41: This is the only reason I tolerate this new pope. Honestly, I give zero shits but MAGA is foaming at the mouth because of this dude, so I’ll take that as a tiny victory.

    Also: We get to see other people respect someone else’s chosen name, which ought to be a freaking standard, but you know.

  28. StevoR says

    ABC radio just noted that some reichwingers are already calling the new Pope “woke.” (As if that’s an insult which is their intention in word usage.)

    it took less time for that – under a day -than it did for the silly Conclave to elect this archaic relic of a horrid old religion

    Apparently Pope Leo 14 called out JD Vance on some of the latter’s hateful bullshit – radio news & Colbert show – and the reichwing really hate that. The new guy like the old guy won’t be nearly “conservative” enough to agree with their extremist radical conservatism and they’re gunna hate it. Good. No fan of either at all but good.

  29. says

    I wish I could find concise data where the mass murders by israel, stalin and hitler are compared to the mass murders by the catholic cult over hundreds of years. Also, I read that leo 14 was involved in facilitating the whack-a-mole moving pedophile priests around to protect them.
    MONSTERS all.

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