A new movie has come out!
Look at that ad — for a moment, I thought someone was finally going to make Jim Pinkoski’s vision real. I’d like to see a movie about T. rex battling foolish ancient Hebrews in a cataclysmic rainstorm.
Unfortunately, then I watched the trailer. The narrator sounds bored. It seems to be a set of CGI segments spliced together, retelling bits of the book of Genesis as if they’re historical. Now I’m bored, too.
This is the work of a guy named Dan Biddle, who runs an organization called Genesis Apologetics. They basically parrot whatever the Institute for Creation Research or Answers in Genesis says. I am amused that they say they will avoid “fringe” evidence provided by other creationist organizations.
Our ministry provides practical and easy-to-understand web, video, and written products for pastors, parents, and students. The materials provided will be those that are “core” to the Creationist position, which are generally held in agreement with leading creation ministries, such as www.answersingenesis.com and www.icr.org. We generally avoid “fringe” evidences that are controversial between these and other Creationist associations.
If you’re eager to see this movie, it’s only available in theaters today and tomorrow, at venues that aren’t specified (do you think the theatrical release is only to allow it to qualify for an Academy Award? We’ll find out next year.) If you miss it, don’t panic, I’m sure it will be playing in church basements for years to come, and I think they usually dump their cheap crap to YouTube for free.
Of course, a lot of T. rexes drowned. There was only room for two on the ark.
These guys only parrot the
LEAST EMBARRASSINGMOST REPUTABLE horseshit.Also, if some fallen angels had actually tried to destroy the ark, they would only have been capitalizing on God’s temper-tantrum. Which is just more proof of how totally stoopid the whole Flood story — and their puny childish god — really are.
I think I’ll wait till after I’m dead to watch it. I’m sure it will be playing in hell. Daily.
God just put T. Rex there to test their faith. You know, because floodwaters topping the highest mountains wasn’t challenging enough.
The foundation of their moral universe: people can be rightfully punished for things they have no control over.
Or maybe it was a test and Noah failed miserably, not saying a word or lifting a finger to prevent a moral catastrophe.
But what happened to the marine reptiles? Mosasaurs, Icthyosaurs, plesiosaurs?
They probably would survive the flood, and snacked quite well on all those dead bodies floating in the flood waters. How many dinosaurs were on the ark? Are dinosaurs unclean or clean, meaning 7 pairs of dinosaurs if clean. Science marches on!
I don’t understand why God is smiting the Ark with a lightning bolt. I thought Noah was his chosen.
Must say it was very clever of early humans to harness brontosauruses like draft horses though. I guess that explains how they built such a big boat.
@ larpar
“a lot of T. rexes drowned. There was only room for two on the ark.”
And these two which were picked-up were unfortunately two males. That’s why there are no T-rex anymore nowadays.
Sexing lizards could be a difficult task. Notably while they are hungry and you look like lunch.
Creationists tell us Noah did not take many species of animals, just a few “kinds”. And babies at that. So how did those long necked baby dinosaurs get from the high mountains of Ararat to Argentina? And evolve into the many kinds of sauropods spread around the globe in 4,000 years?
Okay, that concept art for the live action Beast Wars movie looks like absolute sh-t…
I don’t understand why God is smiting the Ark with a lightning bolt. I thought Noah was his chosen.
The ark’s engine needed a jump-start after getting wet.
T. rex battling foolish ancient Hebrews
Antisemitism!!! Israel’s right to conquer lands outside of biblical Babylon must not be denied!
12) @ Raging Bee: I see. So it was powered by magnets then, huh.
@12 Raging Bee –
You might have something there. I mean, the bulbous bow on Ken Ham’s ark would have no hydrodynamic function if the thing were unpowered. This has been bugging me long time, and now maybe I have an answer.
Raging Bee @12: It’s their fault for using an engine that needed 1.21 gigawatts to start up.
@1 The T-rexs were late and their tiny hands couldn’t open the door on the ark. So they drowned. You’d think god would have told Noah that they were trying to get aboard.
That trailer pic shows 5, maybe 6, clearly lit windows just on that one side of the Ark.
Genesis 6:16 states clearly that it had “a” window; Genesis 8:6 mentions “the” window.
Somebody’s got some serious smitin’ comin’!
(Pics of the Kentucky version indicate 2 windows; will Ken Ham get only 1/3 the smitin’ of Dan Biddle? Calculational theology gets so complicated!)
Anyone who puts ‘apologetics’ in the name of their organisation has already poisoned their own well.
microraptor@26– I think you mean jiggawatts.
Sorry, @16 not @26. That’s a typo, not time travel.
chrislawson @21: Great Scott!
Jurassic Ark !!!!
Coming soon to a theater near you.
Shame! I had visions of the Ark being swallowed whole by a megalodon surging up out of the deep. The only thing missing was Robert Shaw as Noah.
Clear examples of creationist division, disagreements, and infighting right here.
BTW, The ark in the flyer looks awfully like a classic version of Noah’s Ark and not some stupid oil tanker Dumb Idiot Ham designed for his putrid faculties. But then again, I noticed that these unrealistic bows on the ark are heavily borrowed from Dumb Idiot Ham’s cruddy vessel. Maybe he did borrow a few things from Dumb Idiot Ham’s made up fantasy world for his own made up fantasy world in spite of him saying that he doesn’t do that.
Nevertheless, just like all of Ray DisComfort and Dumb Idiot Ham’s putrid films, this film will indeed bomb miserably.
#10 @Cheerfulcharlie And how would they explain the complete lack of evidence, stories, or recollections of a violent global Flood happening especially at the height of Egyptian civilization?
One more thing.
The T.rexes in the trailer and poster are simply Jurassic Park/Jurassic world knock offs. Unrealistic.
Imagine if Noah’s Ark had actually been a Junk? I mean those Chinese bat-sailed boats have been around for many thousands of years? Pre”flood” eeven perhaps?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junk_(ship)#Spring_and_Autumn_period_(8th%E2%80%935th_century_BCE)
5th century earliest. Huh. Oh well.. guess we’llhave tosettle for the XN movie being the “junk” here instead..
#18 @Pierce R. Butler
Seeing all those imagery of Noah’s ark with two rows of windows atop in the middle, stretching from one end to another in so many creationist books (prior to Dumb Idiot Ham’s oil tanker) and I swear they’ve gotten that idea from seeing elongated poultry and cattle barns that have the same design as the creationists’ version of the ark.