The battle is joined! War on Christmas comes earlier every year

The other day, Fox News was hyperfocused on the War on Christmas.

I guess I need to gird my loins or something.


  1. hemidactylus says

    How will more recent Cultural Marxist plots like CRT be brought into the War on Christmas narrative? Santa exhibits structural biases in his distribution of toys? #cancelSanta

  2. mathman85 says

    For the love of Faux Noise’s collective god, why can’t they have even the minuscule shred of decency necessary to wait to invoke the annual “War on Χmas” persecution complices until after Hallowe’en? Is that so much to ask?

    I know, I know—it obviously is.

  3. says

    Seen earlier this week:

    “Snow in October happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.”

    No “xmas” crap is permitted until after the first. The Goth kids hold the line.

  4. Frederic Bourgault-Christie says

    What’s funny is that one of the biggest drivers of resentment against Christmas right now, even among Christians and certainly outside of the militant atheists, is how oversaturated it is. Christian conservatives, as always, reap their own defeats.

  5. consciousness razor says

    It’s an inside job! Santa will shut everything down just to stick it to the elves.

  6. beholder says

    As a volunteer on the front lines of the WOC for several years, I think it’s appropriate to look back at our recent accomplishments:

    Noise-cancelling headphones make it so I don’t have to hear all that godawful Christmas music playing in stores across the country.
    Jesus has been banned from public schools and replaced with full-size Baphomet statues.
    Santa Claus is no longer white.
    Solid red winter-themed coffee cups.
    A devastating but serendipitous pandemic brought 2020 Christmas to its knees.
    Christians are getting desperate and more openly embracing Bronze Age views of public health in response, causing even the white moderates to shun them.

    Our strategy is working, and we just have to keep sustained, low-risk pressure on them using Critical [X] Theory for another year or two until we can destroy Christmas once and for all.

  7. robro says

    See if the Fox shills can guess who said this: “Who cares about f**king Christmas, anyway.”

  8. Reginald Selkirk says

    Why is Christmas in jeopardy?
    Because the supplies chains are messed up.
    Why are the supply chains messed up?
    Because of the pandemic.
    Why is the pandemic still a thing?
    Because of people who refuse to get vaccinated.

    So… who is making war on Christmas?

  9. littlelocomotive says

    Permit me to be the first to wish you Io Saturnalia. I know it’s early but we should have Saturnalia in our hearts the year round.

  10. says

    Faux News and conservatives everywhere seem to be screaming from the rafters that Christmas is all about Jesus and not the commercialization of gift giving. So wouldn’t that mean that this supply chain issue could help push that commercialism aside?

    How does a supply chain problem cause one iota of an affect on the celebration of the birth of Jesus? Seems to me that someone who actually wants to embrace the actual teachings of Jesus would welcome the supply chain problems as a potential aid in that goal.

    And just in case I’m being too obtuse, I’m pointing out their hypocrisy, which I think is central to the entire WOC tactic. I’m an atheist and my understanding of the teachings of Jesus is that the teachings of Jesus became secondary to grifting a good 45 minutes after he died. (I doubt he ever lived actually)

  11. raven says

    Don’t forget the War on Halloween.
    Halloween is coming up in two weeks.

    In the last few years, the War on Halloween hasn’t been much.
    I don’t know why but a lot of people don’t care what the fundie xians say or do anymore.

    Ironically, the fundies were mostly successful in getting Halloween kicked out of the public schools. In my area, they don’t have Halloween parties in school any more, they have Harvest or Fall parties instead. Then again, it sort of worked too well for them.
    The local schools don’t have Xmas parties either. They are now Holiday parties.

  12. unclefrogy says

    the only way they can hope to attack Biden is to try and attach the supply chain problems to him with this stupid war on christmas, hopping it distracts people from you know actually looking at the economy and how it works.
    the supply chain problems are a direct result in how they are structured. Take the very visible state of Los Angeles and Long Beech harbors.
    There are dozens of ships at anchor waiting to off load. Why because even if the docks worked 3 shifts there is little room to stack the containers now. The trucks that take the “can” away have no place to take them except in the day time the depots and ware houses do not have night shifts nor any more room either.
    The volume of goods from all over the world has grown immensely because of price and profit. Add to that the modern practice of “just in time inventory” which has become the dominant practice world wide it does not take a genius to see that any disruption would quickly expand ,like a world wide pandemic and almost cripple trade . It has been explained to me that it is like a python that has eaten a rather large pig maybe even too big and can not move and will just have to wait until it digests it some before it can be seen to move again.
    You can’t sell that to the maga idiots they might notice that the real problems have different roots then the radical left.
    war on christmas my ass!

  13. gijoel says

    Can Florida save christmas?

    Why do I have the mental image of Kris Kringle on a quad bike trying to jump a mobile home with a sack of stolen DVDs.

  14. Rich Woods says

    @littlelocomotive #12:

    we should have Saturnalia in our hearts the year round.

    Well you would say that wouldn’t you, minion?

  15. birgerjohansson says

    Reginald Selkirk @ 11
    We need to put this on posters all over Merica!
    Early Xmas gift: Dominic Cummings has come clean about the Brit government never intending to honour the agreement it signed with EU. (BoJo only got the tory MPs on board by promising them he would break the agreement)
    A question for the better informed. Is there a limit to the numbers of things congress can do by budget reconciliation? Is this a “you only get three wishes” thing?

  16. birgerjohansson says

    It is confirmed the man who killed five people with bow and arrows in Norway has a long history of mental instability.
    He has lived a marginalised life since adolescence. He converted to islam four years ago, but the local muslim priest noticed he seemed troubled. I am putting this out there if there are claims the murders are about ehvil mooslems.
    In Britain, a 25 year old man is held for the murder of MP David Amess. This murder is a Briton of Somali heritage, the motif remains unclear.

  17. Alan G. Humphrey says

    The CRT connection to Santa Claus is that he and his wife are High Elves and all the rest of the worker elves are Low Elves. Of course High and Low reflect the albedo of their respective skin tones and the power structures inherent in the system.

  18. microraptor says

    Alan G. Humphrey @25: I thought that “high” elf was a reference to what was in his pipe.

  19. blf says

    @25/@26, I kept reading CRT as Cathode-ray Tube… suggesting “elves” are a corrupted reference to “electron (beams)”. This obviously wasn’t working, even supposing “high” and “low” were corrupted references to interleaved even and odd frames.

    And for the pedants, the second sentence of @25 clarified things.

  20. christoph says

    There’s a recent Onion article about how Americans are in danger of learning the true meaning of Christmas because of the supply chain problems.

  21. davidc1 says

    @25 While I hate all tories and wish they would feck off ,this one did have his good points .
    Human and animal rights for example .
    But set against that he was a britshitter ,and a rabid catholic .
    But no-one deserves to be murdered while he was just doing his job .
    It’s just over five years since Jo Cox ,a Labour MP was murdered .

  22. unclefrogy says

    jesus ween?
    I thought that the holy day had already been christianized with all souls day and all saints day (all halos day). ??
    some fundies are against fun of every kind but theirs.