1. timorous says

    You could just die it a contrasting colour to your beard and go with rainbow suspenders.

  2. bcwebb says

    Scissors or buy a set of hair clippers. Scissors: Comb over your eyes, cut straight across. Grab a chunk of hair, pull out until you hold only the longest. Chop off close to your hand. Repeat in another spot, keep going. Mary can do the back. Comb hair over your ears and trim what overlaps.

  3. hemidactylus says

    Cutting your own hair with clippers and scissors is fun. Thanks to a tip from a poster (Ridana) here on using a bathroom door to fix a mirror my process got easier. Still don’t have shaping the neckline down yet. Might use audio cable tied around my head or neck as a guide.

  4. billseymour says

    I’m beginning to have the aging hippie look (mostly bald on top, long in back). Fortunately, I don’t think that that’s awful.

    I did think I needed to shave off my whiskers to allow masks to work better.

  5. PaulBC says

    Can anyone in your “pod” do it for you? I haven’t had a commercial haircut in years.

  6. Bruce Fuentes says

    Cut it yourself with scissors or clippers. NO one, even you, cares how it looks. Like I say every time my 11 year old wants a weird haircut. “It will grow back”
    Most of my hair does not live up to that though.

  7. Reginald Selkirk says

    I have been cutting my own hair for about 38 years now. So it looks no worse than before.

  8. tacitus says

    Hair clippers with your preferred length guard (I use no. 5) sides and back is hard to get wrong. Trim the top to the desired length with scissors if you don’t want it that short up top.

    The only hard part is getting the fade (transition from side to top) right, but using clippers over a comb, Mary shouldn’t find it too difficult. (It’s harder to do it on your own.)

  9. says

    Especially now, no one will see me anyway.

    I would not want to make my wife suffer through giving me a haircut. She’s very fastidious and worries too much that she’ll make me look ugly (too late for that!), so she clips it like one hair at a time.

    Once upon a time I had it long enough I could tie it back, but it’s at that awkward in-between length. I’d like to get my old hippie-length back mainly so that my father would rise from the dead to yell at me, “GET A HAIRCUT!” again.

  10. PaulBC says

    Mine was at in-between, almost ponytail length, when my wife insisted on cutting it. Haircuts are a family matter for her. It’s a cultural thing. The last time my son and I went to a Supercuts or similar, he was about four years old and I forgot how we won this dispensation. She has to feel like doing it though, and I have to feel like I have time for it. We both have to be in an agreeable mood, so… 3-6 months is typical in between. The pandemic pushed it to the limit since it was long already when lockdown started.

    She cuts her own hair somehow and does a good job with it. My job is cutting my son’s hair with a Wahl clipper. He’s 16 now and not interested since he has nowhere to go, just daily zoom class sessions. My daughter’s hair is long. My wife may have trimmed it a little at some point.

    I have never had a pony tail and I don’t think it would help the main problem of keeping hair out of my eyes. I have off-white hair, formerly red. It grows sideways as much as it grows down. I had started to get in the habit of trying out holding it like a ponytail, but now it shorter and I don’t have to think about it at all for a while.

  11. PaulBC says

    Already on the subject of hair, and stop reading if this is TMI.

    I remember first noticing in my 20s that my ears were covered with wispy, almost invisible hair on the outside. I thought… huh, wasn’t someone supposed to warn me about this? At 55, that hair has matured into a full covering of hair only somewhat thinner than what you might see on a wolf’s ear. When I let my hair grow out, I forget about it. So last week, I had to shave it off or have this very noticeable ear fur exposed for all to see.

    It’s also still red! So it’s kind of a shame to have to remove it, but what do you do?

    Is there a name for this? An “ear beard” maybe? I have never seen anyone with hair like this. I assume it’s pretty common and a lot of middle aged guys keep it shaved, or their barbers do. Or maybe I’m the only one? Can I make some extra bucks as a sideshow freak?

  12. fossboxer says

    My gray-streaked pony rests neatly between my shoulder blades. Outta the way, easy to tie-off first thing in the morn, has a nice counter-culture look to it, even at my advancing age. But jebus what a pain in the arse to wash.

  13. chuckonpiggott says

    Haven’t had it cut since February. Reverting to my style from 45 years ago. I have those same curlicues that PZ has. Wife is amazed that now my hair is curly. Usually perfectly straight.

  14. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    As a physicist, I can pull of the COVID hair and bushy eyebrows that look like a furry critter has taken roost on my forehead, but at it’s current length, it’s really a pain. I’m thinking of braving the COVID infested world just to get my hair out of my eyes.

  15. PaulBC says


    I will have to look into that. Whatever it is, it’s benign. I also have hyperextended elbows and fingers. My father at least had the elbows, not sure about fingers. Nobody ever talked about ear hair.

  16. unclefrogy says

    it is easy for that kind of christian to do that kind of bad science. They are just looking for the clues hidden amongst all of the data that their god left for them to know the truth. Since they are guided by faith they could not be mislead, really very similar to qanon and the info wars bull shit
    faith is not a virtue and blind faith is a pathological delusion
    uncle frogy

  17. nomdeplume says

    I know you were keeping this short PZ, but why restrict the response to humans? Where is the evidence that any of the other species on the planet has been “degenerating” genetically?

    “Young Earth” is like a disease that affects the brains of evangelicals.

  18. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Jaws #22, I hear you. I definitely got the family genetics for a chrome-dome. During the lock-down, I did a couple of buzz-cuts on myself using the clippers I bought so the Redhead could cut my hair during grad school. Decided recently I might as well try out the Yul Brenner/Telly Savalas shaved scalp look to see if it was easier than using the clippers to give myself a buzz cut. Only one data point, so need to lather, shave and rinse for a couple of more days for more complete data.

  19. dontlikeusernames says

    Lollerskates. “Went browsing for problematic videos”. (3 seconds later): “Results: …”

    Btw, I think your head shape might work pretty well with a crop/buzz cut. (Or a full tight shave.). Been doing the closest possible crop since about the age of 24 or so… easy to maintain, economical, etc. You do have to have the right ‘head shape’ tho, I feel. I’ll never judge anyone for it, but some people just have weirdly shaped heads that are sort of ‘evened out’ by hair. Random example: Jeff Bezos.

    It’s sort of like mouthfeel… it’s not really objective, but you know it when you… well.

  20. hemidactylus says

    @25- dontlikeusernames

    Funny that I had been thinking PZ should go for a Rob Halford look— chrome the dome and crop the beard in tighter. Cool shades are optional, but double as protective eye gear.

  21. hemidactylus says

    …And phase two would be a spider and cobweb tattoo over the entirety of his skull to show his dedication.

  22. unclefrogy says

    as an old “hippie” I have only ever trimmed my hair and beard for sun burt and spit ends, which has been enough having worked outside most of the time.
    I have made one modification for the pandemic recommendations that is a “groove” around my mouth and chin to accommodate a better fit for respirators, It was my unacknowledged vanity that had been preventing me from doing that for a long time, It works great and I will be continue that “groove” from now on. I would rather be looked on as “funny looking” then be unsafe because of my vanity
    uncle frogy

  23. PaulBC says

    You could go for the “Heisenberg” look (Breaking Bad, not the physicist). Shaved head, shades, and a black porkpie hat.

    I had been considering it but I don’t think my head shape is good for going bald.

  24. magistramarla says

    My daughter’s ex once called me an aging hippie, and I responded with “I resemble that remark!”. Now I really do, since my hair has grown to shoulder length, and I have to clip it back out of my face, much the way I did in my teens. My mother-in-law taught me years ago that the advantage of blond highlights made it so no one could see the grey. Now I have lots of grey highlights – sigh.
    My husband was beginning to have the Einstein look, which I thought was kind of cute. He disagreed, bought a set of clippers, and gave himself a high and tight. My son in Houston, a former Marine, did the same. He occasionally appalls his wife and does the same for their two sons, ages 7 and 2.
    We’re all saving money, but the poor barbers and beauticians are surely suffering.

  25. redwood says

    Thanks, chigau (違う), I enjoyed that a lot. Lots of fun things happening among the choir members, the most relevant being the guy getting the haircut.

  26. quotetheunquote says

    Thanks Chigau, that was indeed loverly! The guy singing along with his hand puppet(s?) was brill.

  27. llyris says

    Maybe covid will be the catalyst to bring back the 80’s stretch terry sweat head band for men? Or maybe a lovely floral lycra head band like my daughter wears to keep her hair out of her eyes.

  28. llyris says

    @ PaulBC Have you been to Australia? Sounds like you’re experiencing the after effects of being bitten by a drop bear. There’s no cure and no vaccine, you’ll eventually completely transform into a koala.

  29. stroppy says


    Fast, easy, and you can put what you save on hair cuts toward new imaging equipment.

  30. Craig says

    During the decades I lived in the DC area, I went to chain stylists, military barbers, fancy barbers, little shops where all the stylists came from one country, etc. And while it was usually nice to talk to the personnel, I seldom got the same stylist and rarely got a cut that was any better than so-so.

    So, one day, tired of spending $20 + tip for haircuts, my husband and I decided to just buy a clipper set. We figured if we were awful at it, we were only set back the cost of one haircut. Now, five or six years later, we haven’t gone back. We don’t change our haircut, except by length in the summer, so we’ve learned to do it reasonably well. For short simple styles, the clippers are a cost-effective alternative to going to a stylist.