Today is my birthday. Yeah, whoop-ti-doo, it’s a work day and I’m home alone and dinner is going to be rice and beans with no cake, so congratulations are not in order. Also, I’m 63, which led to my new insight.
I’m actually 3 vigorous, flighty, strong, bumbling 21 year olds trapped in one body. It explains why I’ve put on weight over the years, and they’re all kind of bummed out about being stuck in here, so they occasionally lash out, which is why my bones ache. It’s a satisfying theory which explains many phenomena.
So now I just need to figure out how to reconcile these three (who I’ve named Chad, Dexter, and Evil Dexter, by the way) to their existence as roommates in a co-op with really strict rules and no escape clause. Things might get better next year at this time when it’ll be three young men and a new one-year-old baby and we can start negotiating the sit-com rights, but until then I’ve got to keep these rambunctious wastrels occupied. Any suggestions?
If it helps, I spent my first 21st birthday in my dorm room, studying for a biochemistry final the next day. That’s what 21 year olds do, right?