A price gladly paid for a new spider legion

As you sit on your throne, savoring your power, a beautiful woman comes before you.

“I have been searching the kingdom, and have found a gift for you,” she says. She lays an army of spiders at your feet.

You gasp with joy. “Exactly what I wanted! What boon can I grant you in return?”

She looks deeply into your eyes. Her full lips part, and she says, achingly, “There is but one thing I desire most of all…”

Eagerly, “Yes?”

“A soufflé.”

“A soufflé? You mean for dinner?”

“Yes. I crave your soufflé.”

You are taken aback. Your kingdom is small, little more than a snug hovel. You have no servants. You have never in your life made a soufflé. You’re not quite sure how to make such a thing.

What do you say?

You say, “As you wish,” of course.

Not bad for a first try. The major obstacle was that we don’t have an electric mixer, so I had whip those egg whites by hand, like some kind of peon serving a medieval cook. My arms are dead weight right now.

It was worth it for that army of spiders, though. Now to expand my kingdom.


  1. reynardo says

    And that is true love. From both sides.

    Goes off feeling warmed to the very core

  2. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    A fitting reward for your army. Looks very tasty.

  3. blf says

    I had whip those egg whites by hand, like some kind of peon serving a medieval cook. My arms are dead weight right now.

    The mildly deranged penguin is puzzled by this. There were all these spiders, right, and they have all those legs, right, hence they could have massaged the eggs…

  4. Artor says

    Do you have to cook spider eggs at the same temperature as poultry eggs? It looks like they browned quite nicely.

  5. archangelospumoni says

    Semi-related to the spider subjects:

    Become a beekeeper. It’s a good hobby, not too expensive, fun to learn and do.
    And spider fans can say it’s because bees are closely related to spiders!

  6. blf says

    I believe there are bee-eating spiders. So, if there are also spider-eating bees, then indeed, keeping both such spiders and such bees could be relaxing — except perhaps, for the spiders and bees. And easy, as they obviously look out for each other.

    (The mildly deranged penguin says eating walruses would be bonus. But basically, as long as cheese, MUSHROOMS!, cheese, penguins, and moar cheese isn’t ate, all’s Ok… — she says.)

  7. Ed Peters says

    Jacques Pepin eschews electric egg beaters – in his shows he only beats egg whites by hand. Once you get the right equipment (a large metal whisk, a copper bowl) and some practice, it goes fast. Below are some of his souffle tips from https://www.foodandwine.com/blogs/2013/12/30/jacques-pepins-tips-for-no-fail-souffles . And BTW, your souffle looks wonderful. About the only thing some would do differently is use an offset spatula to smooth out the top a little. But I prefer a more rustic top on savory souffles – its more interesting and inviting. Smooth tops are for dessert souffles in ramekins.

    “A perfectly puffy soufflé can seem like a small miracle. To learn the basics of making one, I headed to The International Culinary Center in New York City for a lesson from the legendary master of French technique, F&W contributing editor Jacques Pépin. Pépin pulled out a copper bowl, explaining that the metal interacts with the egg whites to make them more stable as they take on air. Then he proceeded to whip up soufflé after soufflé, all the while describing in more detail than I thought possible the finer points of beating egg whites by hand.

    “Start fast to make them more liquid, then slow down—lifting them with the whisk, and not touching the bowl too much,” he told me. But for Pépin, the most important thing when working with beaten egg whites is the timing: Use them right away, he warns, or they’ll deflate. “It is relatively easy when you’re serving two to four people; a party for 20, though, would be more difficult.” Here, his recipes and tips.”