I’m going to be famous now!


I’ve been cited in Charisma magazine! Surely respect, honor, and glory will follow in the wake of this awesome acknowledgment.

I am mentioned in the context of explaining how octopus suckers work. Unfortunately, the rest of the article is about getting possessed by squid demons.

After this squid spirit attacked my friend, I went to her home to help her battle it. The attack was severe, but when I laid hands on her and commanded the squid to be bound, the most violent symptoms would cease. Of course, when you stand in the gap, you often take a hit. That squid spirit started stalking me. I ended up with a migraine during the battle—a manifestation of that mind control spirit—and was attacked in my mind for days afterwards.

Fear can open the door to a squid spirit. Of course, unforgiveness is an open door for the enemy. But let’s face it: The enemy doesn’t need an open door to attack. He can strike when we least expect it, which is why we’re to live in a battle-ready state and walk with the Spirit of God who can warn us of impending attacks.

The good news here is a squid’s tentacles do not grow back once severed. If you get discernment that a squid spirit is attacking you, repent for any known open doors, grab some intercessors, and get that sneaky stalker with its manipulating suckers off your mind! Sever the tentacles, in the name of Jesus, and walk free.

Dammit. Cancel the celebration, forget the promotion, I’m not moving to the corner office after all, and I guess I don’t have to hang around waiting for the phone call from my agent after all.

Comments

  1. rcurtis505 says

    Damn, now I’m in the mood for some spirit calamari. Where can I get some?

  2. Artor says

    I am totally including squid spirits in my next D&D game! I even have some flavor text for the note card.

  3. Eric O says

    Having never heard of Charisma magazine, I was a bit confused about why it warranted the comic-sans treatment. It was only about halfway through reading the quote when I realised this person was not talking about his D&D campaign.

  4. wsierichs says

    Squid Spirit sounds like a great name for a rock group. And imagine how great it would be if it could get a squid spirit to materialize and play the drums. What an incredible solo to have 10 drums being pounded at the same time!

  5. jrkrideau says

    May I suggest that you don’t list this in the CV or even mention it to the university publicity people?

  6. jrkrideau says

    @ 1. microraptor
    This was actually written by a grown, adult person?

    Not only that, it looks like she makes a living peddling this crap.
    https://jenniferleclaire.org/articles/breaking-the-enemys-many-expressions-of-witchcraft.

    Personally I’m not impressed. She probably is not even a formally trained exorcist. If she was she would not have gotten a migraine headache when treating her friend.

    It sounds like thinking you’re consulting a dietitian and finding out you are dealing with a nutritionist.

  7. microraptor says

    jrkrideau @9:

    I’d say it’s more like thinking you’ve hired a fitness instructor and finding out you hired an exorcist.

  8. blf says

    Thinking you’re about to get a refreshing espresso and someone nukes the planet from orbit.

  9. hotspurphd says

    I know one person who believes in this sort of thing. She is a fundamentalist Christian. Very intelligent, college educated , also believes in all sorts of quackery but is sometimes receptive to research that shows the nostrums to be fake. The internet and this blog especially have made me so aware of all the craziness and vileness (trolls, mras, etc.) that exists. One tend to think that most people are pretty much like the people one knows even though we know they aren’t. My two go to sites are this one and quackwatch.org.

  10. jrkrideau says

    @ 15 hotspurphd

    You may want to have a look at Respectful Insolence for really quack medical essays. The blogger, Orac, is an MD, Ph.D academic medical researcher and surgeon.

  11. jrkrideau says

    Correction that should be essays on really quack medical treatments. After sending I realized I was making it sound like Orac was the quack. Mea culpa.

  12. DanDare says

    I think Dan Dennett gave a good TED talk once entitled 10 good reasons to believe in god. He talked about the social emotional and economic advantages of professing certain beliefs. He mentioned that a large number of the in group may not actually believe any of it or even be concerned about it being true or not.
    That puts christianity trump and squid spirits in the same ark.

  13. garysturgess says

    Even taken on its own merits – and I use the word “merits” in its loosest possible sense – I am pretty sure the Bible never mentions squid spirits as a thing associated with witches. But I must be mis-remembering, because the only other possible conclusion is that she made that up, and surely no good Christian would dare make up stories of the supernatural simply to entice and enrich herself at a glossy (I’m assuming, I’ve never heard of Charisma) magazine.

  14. shadow says

    PZ, I was under the impression that you’d prefer to be infamous to the likes of “Charisma” readers.

    BTW: My Pandora feed was playing a piece by ‘Osric Tentacles’ — not bad if you like “New Age” or electronica.

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