Where is Shelly Miscavige?

It’s a strange mystery, because apparently we do know where Shelly Miscavige is, and her husband, the twisted egomaniacal head of Scientology, David Miscavige, certainly knows precisely where she is, since he’s such a control freak. Apparently, she’s in California.

Even before Leah Remini came out of Scientology, however, we’d been writing about the strange disappearance of Shelly Miscavige, and we’ve worked hard to investigate her whereabouts through multiple, independent sources. And all of those sources point to one place, where we believe Shelly has been living and working since 2005: the Church of Spiritual Technology headquarters compound near Crestline, California.

So we know where she is. She’s monitored by Scientologists and chooses not to reveal herself, thanks to the nasty psychological shackles that the cult has placed on her. Maybe the question should be “How does Scientology compel Shelly Miscavige to hide?”

Another question might be, “What is Shelly Miscavige doing in Crestline, California?” We apparently know the answer to that, too.

CST is a bizarre sub-entity of Scientology whose mandate is to archive L. Ron Hubbard’s writings and lectures in underground vaults so that they can be recovered after civilization collapses. CST has vaults in three locations in California and one in New Mexico and planned to add another one in Wyoming that seems to be held up. But it’s at the headquarters compound in the mountains above Los Angeles where the actual archiving work goes on, with Hubbard’s words etched on steel plates to be stored in titanium containers filled with inert gases. For the last 12 years, Shelly Miscavige has worked on that project, as well as other Scientology products.

I’ve read Hubbard’s cheesy pulp stories. I’ve read parts of his nonsensical Scientology books. I’ve listened to recordings of his bizarre, rambling, inane lectures.

His crappy words are being etched on steel plates to be stored in titanium containers filled with inert gases, to be preserved for eternity? This is madness.

Remember this, though, when someone tries to tell you the Bible or the Koran are obviously precious because of the believers commitment to preserve and maintain them for generation after generation. That doesn’t mean squat, because human beings sometimes don’t have any taste at all.

Some of them also like to lock people away from their friends and families.


  1. lotharloo says

    Remember that Muslims believe that Quran is also a literary miracle and that if all the scholars, all the humans gather to try to replicate one verse, they won’t be able to. And then you look at the text and you see it is rather boring.

  2. Dunc says

    Ye dark gods, there’s a depressing thought – that of all the literary treasures of the world, there may be some future in which the only surviving remnants of our culture are the works of L. Ron Hubbard. What will the cockroach archaeologists make of that?

  3. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    I’m skeptical of the preservability of Steel, even in inert gas, self oxidation is possible (?).
    Most ancient “documents” I’m aware of, were inscribed on sheets of copper.
    Also, why put steel and inert gas in titanium containers? Isn’t titanium itself pretty inert, so scribe on titanium and leave it be.
    No, the “documents” under discussion do need to be preserved as historical artifacts, not for any inherent value they represent. Provides insight into one of the “styles” of thought of the 20th Century.
    p.s. I also seem to remember arguments that an infintely stable medium to preserve information was embedded little lasered dots deep inside a piece of glass. you know, use lasers to cause little micro imperfection dots in the middle of a piece of glass that can then be read using a microscope and proper lighting. Like the ideal form of CD (or DVD). Seems the resources and motivation behind this particular archive are sufficient to warrant using the highest [pun] form of technology available.

  4. randall says

    Even protons have a finite, if extremely long, half life. Given what’s being made of them is a depressing thought…

  5. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    re 6:
    um I thought it was Neutrons that had a half-life, when they would spontaneously slit into proton,electron,neutrino, Proton decay is a little more problematic.
    I see, only quarks are enternal, so all composite particles composed of quarks have half-lives, inherently, no matter (punintended) how long.
    [that’s all my particle physics jokes at the moment… exit stage left]

  6. Rich Woods says

    with Hubbard’s words etched on steel plates to be stored in titanium containers filled with inert gases.

    I’m sure the Morlocks will be overjoyed when they uncover this cache.

  7. methuseus says

    I thought Battlefield Earth was a decent, if overly long, book. At least as far as shite pulps go. I also have enjoyed quite a bit of other problematic authors. Hell I didn’t even know Hubbard was associated with Scientology, or even what it was, when I read that book. It’s not like I’d ever read it again, or ever would have in the first place if I knew about Scientology and all.

  8. Usernames! 🦑 says

    I thought Battlefield Earth was a decent, if overly long, book.
    — methuseus (#9)

    Lol, I read (and enjoyed) that book as a teen. Years later, I bought a copy of the movie (used, thank dog) and it was horrible.

    I’d like to think it was Travolta’s, Whittaker’s and Pippin’s hammy acting, but the story really didn’t hold up.

  9. vucodlak says

    Wow, that’s… weird. I’ve been thinking for years about a similar project I’d like to attempt: vaults o’ knowledge. However, the “texts” that I’d like to preserve on metal would be intended to teach people how to learn. Math and science and history, after basic survival information. Some sampling of literature, too, though I have no idea what I’d choose. Nothing by Hubbard, for sure.

    I’ve also been thinking about the problem of teaching people to read a dead language- the only idea I’ve been able to come up with is some sort of pictographic guide, in addition to plates containing the basics of language in as many written languages as possible. I’ve also thought the language guides might be written on the walls.

    Anyway, I think it would be a good idea to store knowledge for future generations, so that some things aren’t forgotten. But scientology? Some things really are better forgotten.

  10. secondtofirstworld says

    I skimmed through here if anybody has mentioned this already, but the vault in Svalbard isn’t the only one in the world. The Mormons have a second one in New Mexico if memory serves me right, so scrap worrying about the language, if worst comes to worst, Mormons will have all the animals and plants in both Americas…

  11. blf says

    secondtofirstworld@13, The Svalbard Global Seed Vault has precisely nothing to do with $cientology. And neither that vault nor, as far as I know, the cult’s vaults, have anything to do with “animals” (whether or not the cult’s vaults have anything to do with seeds I’ve no idea, but mostly doubt it). The Svalbard vault is a big bar of fine chocolate, the cult’s vaults are steaming piles of rotting shite — and that’s being insulting to shite.

  12. blf says

    I do not see any [seed banks] being run specifically by Mormons.

    Nor by $cientology, who is the cult in the OP.