People are always sending me links — sometimes it’s to a cogent rebuttal of lunacy, sometimes it’s something advocating lunacy, and sometimes…it takes me a while to tell. For instance, here’s this site called “The Truth of Genesis”. I read this and thought for a moment that it was a site debunking creationism.
The biggest laugh comes from the “young Earth” teachers, who try to convince others that the Earth is only 6 000 to 10,000 years old. This is in direct conflict with scientific reality, and the true reading of Genesis. It’s embarrassing to see them try to add up the years from Adam (who they think only lived 930 years), on down to Jesus, who was born in 7 BC. They deny the existence of humanity before Adam and Eve, which were formed from the dust of the Earth. So where do they put Cro-Magnon and the Neanderthals? They claim that there was “no death before Adam”, but that is not found in scripture.
Those fools at Answers in Genesis who think the earth is only 6,000 years old! How ridicuolus! All those inconsistencies and their absurd methodology of toting up the ages of the patriarchs…but then I read on.
Adam was formed in about 7200 BC. The modern animals, along with the birds, were made in about 7100 BC, and Eve came along in about 7000 BC. I’m guessing that the animals lived in and out of the Garden, and Adam probably took Eve out on sight-seeing trips to lands surrounding the Garden. They did this for 2,733 years., until Eve ate of the evil tree in 4267 BC. It is then that the years of Adam’s age begins to be counted, because that is when he “began to die”. So from 7200 BC, till 3337 BC, when Adam died, Adam had lived for 3,863 years.
The reason the sequence of events in Genesis chapter one, do not agree with those in Genesis chapter two, is because Moses was writing about two different time periods. So actually, Genesis is declaring the existence of pre-historic man, which lived more than 60 million years before God made Adam and Eve. The world of science won’t admit to mankind being on Earth any earlier than 10 million years ago., which shows how misinformed they are. Or is it that they are in denial?
I don’t know about you, but I’m always impressed with the specificity of their dates, all derived from the land of making-crap-up.
It’s good to know we’ve now found the one correct creationist, rather than all those other wrong creationists. Also a brave creationist, because he’s going to reveal the truth to us at last.
Now, let us talk about the world of science. They are insane, because they would rather lie to the public, than to admit that there is a Creator. Yes, they lie, and they know it, because they have been withholding evidence from the public in order to not have to explain certain ‘phenomena”.
What is this evidence? You will be dazzled by it, but I’m afraid that as a mere biologist I am not qualified to even contemplate the author’s vision. This one is for the physicists out there. Have at it:
Science refuses to come clean about comets, especially Shoemaker-Levy 9. They know good and well that comet was never “captured” by Jupiter. Captures of comets and satellites never occur, because their paths (orbits) obey the command of God. That is why the moon Metis, of Jupiter, does not crash into the planet, even though it is only 79,800 miles from Jupiter. Science calls it a “gravitational lock”. There is no such thing.
Also, science tells the public that the nine planets of our solar system revolve around our Sun, because of the Sun’s “gravitational pull” and centrifugal force on the planets (the same excuse for why our Moon doesn’t “fall”). But that too is not the truth. If they came clean, their theory of stellar evolution, namely the origin of our solar system, would become suspect. Our planets are not really just orbiting the Sun. The Sun is actually following the planets, as they spiral around the Sun, as they all orbit the center point of our galaxy, the Milky Way, as the galaxy spirals around the center point of our “local group” of about ten galaxies. All of the stars (suns) that you see in our galaxy are moving with the rotation of our galaxy.
So when Halley’s Comet orbits around the Sun, how does the comet know where our Sun will be 75 years later, since the comet leaves the solar system in the opposite direction of the Sun’s orbital path (around the galaxy)? Where does it go? What causes it to come back? Certainly not gravity. How did comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 know where Jupiter would be two years later, when Jupiter had moved over 500 million miles since the comet’s previous orbit of the planet? Its apojove was 32,313,600 miles, so again, gravity was not a factor. For more than 4 billion years, it obeyed the command of God, until its (Divinely) staged crash into Jupiter.
Well all righty then, I guess that’s all settled now.
The funniest thing is all the comments saying “What an absolute idiot, it’s obvious that MY particular fairy tale is the correct one.”
This sounds like Herman Cummings, I’ve seen his posts before. I like him, he’s a hoot, he knows the truth about everything.
At least this “explanation” doesn’t require the writer to don a purple track suit and put a bag over his head.
I… wait, what? I’m suddenly confused. And dizzy. And a bit dehydrated.
Reading that took a lot out of me.
And how is it you’ll land in the same spot if you jump straight up while on a moving train!? It can only be the command of god!
Tide goes in, tide goes out.
Shoemaker-Levy 9 , …
Never a miscommunication, therefore God!
When you have less data you have (more lies, in other words), there is nothing to stop you from being very, very, very specific. Reality is messy. Fantasy can be very exact.
Christianity is all about believing exactly the right thing about exactly the right things. And only one can be right. And every single Christian thinks that their version at their church is the only possible Truth. So it makes sense that this idiots fantasy is the only one that has Truth, all the rest are actual fantasies, not the Fantastic Truth!
A. Noyd; I guess his god doesn’t like me. I’m certain if I jumped straight up on a moving train I’d most likely land on an unsuspecting passengers lap, and maybe break my hip.
I’m inclined to file this under P for Parody. Hermann appears to be setting out to annoy everybody.
Mike.
bwahahahahaha*gasp*bwahahahahahaha*gasp*gasp*
Oh I needed that. Comets, therefore God. I have to say, I’ve never heard that one before.
Is it bad that the thing that caused me to lose it altogether was “apojove”? I get that “apogee” is derived from ἀπόγαιον, which contains the element γαῖα, “earth”, but I’m still boggled that they went with “apojove.” Way to mix Latin/Greek roots! It should be ἀπόΔιός!
I’m guessing that this guy doesn’t put too much stock in the field equations of General Relativity…
Not gravity, but Intelligent Falling. The Onion was way ahead of this guy back in 2005.
The derp is strong in this one.
“Also, science tells the public that the nine planets of our solar system revolve around our Sun, ”
Should we tell him about what happened with Pluto a few years ago as well as the trans-Plutonian dwarf planets (I hate that term, I voted for planetessimals)?
They can ‘know the truth’ only because they don’t understand a damned thing they’re talking about.
This guy is clearly an incredulous, crazy fool. What he has written is incoherent, puerile fantasy. If he would acknowledge simple existing math proof that 4 harmonic corner days rotate simultaneously around squared equator and cubed Earth, proving 4 Days, Not 1Day,1Self,1Earth or 1God that exists only as anti-side. This SnotBrains will know hell for ignoring TimeCube.
…ahem. Sorry. I got a little off track there. Not sure what happened.
I prefer my crazy well done, none of this namby-pamby half effort.
In a reality-free zone, all things are possible.
@11: FWIW, Wikipedia gives both “apozene” and “apojove” as legitimate terms. Modern science doesn’t seem to mind mixing Greek and Latin (and maybe other languages as needed).
Well of course, the greatest scientist, Isaac Newton, told us that angels push the comets around.
You didn’t believe him, did you?
Now you’re getting it, you materialist naturalist Satan-worshipping atheists you.
Glen Davidson
I`m sure this guy considers the fact that astronomers no long consider Pluto a planet as proof science is wrong and evil. No doubt he can cite some piece of Biblical text that proves Pluto is a planet, and that its existence has always been known to those who read the bible properly.
PZ, WARN us when you post something that wrong! I know no more physics or astronomy than a 100-level college course and a lot of reading can teach me, and the last few paragraphs of that were physically painful to read.
I have to call a Poe on this one.
This reminds me of a video on YouTube that comes up if you search for “Where is Niribu Now?” This lady says that Niribu is over here, beyond Pluto—or Jupiter, one of those planets, and as long as it decides to go this way instead of that way, we will be spared certain destruction. I wonder why they all suddenly stopped posting those stupid Planet X videos…
How does a rock knows where the ground is ? Answer that Mr. smartypants scientist.
Now he makes me think of my little niece, contemplating her poo as it swirls down the toilet.
Because I say so.
These people make a lot of assumptions about things they don’t understand.
Such as “gravity is not a factor”, extrapolated straight out of “common sense” hardwired from rules-of-thumb that apply to human-sized objects going at restricted speeds in an earth-gravity system, without even being slightly aware of what they’re doing wrong. It would be cute if he wasn’t an adult.
So when it followed its orbit it obeys God, and when it doesn’t it’s also obeying God. o_O
That’s one impressively messed up cognitive process.
I hereby declare this guy a hopeless case, to be used as an example of how your brain is on religion.
Fucking planets. How do they work?
I’ll just back slowly out of the room and close the door softly behind me. I don’t want to disturb this one.
I quote Voltaire:
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things, lad, we’re making shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
‘Cause if we find we’re in a bind we just make some shit up
At least it isn’t the Lunar Bukkake hypothesis.
Why do some people feel the need to abuse astronomy? No. I actually know why. There’s a sufficient number of people out there who don’t know enough to spot the bullshit and have a reason to not check up on it for the sake of their religion.
What. The. Fuck.
“and the last few paragraphs of that were physically painful to read.”
I could not read it to the end. Painful and embarassing.
Dont be too hard on him, it took a mind like Newton’s to figure the ‘how planets know wherr to return to’ thing out.
Of course, he could read a book.
Adam probably took Eve out on sight-seeing trips to lands surrounding the Garden.
Where did they go? Ham’s creation museum hadn’t opened up, yet, and Las Vegas was still a boring chunk of desert.
Quite often a harbinger of major craziness.
It doesn’t take a degree in Physics to debunk this stuff. He appears to be saying (need a loon Babel fish), that comets orbit the sun with God’s assistance. Sort of like the guy in the circus with the spinning plates. Only he says when one slams into a planet, God meant to do that not like the guy dropping the plate. Apparently, that makes his God more awesome directing every tiny ball of ice and rock in the universe. According to this guy’s reasoning kind of like a cosmic pin ball player only when he tilts and one of the balls goes awry, it’s on purpose.
The comet disappears where did it go? Only his God knows, and can be bothered by that much minutiae. Of course, he could always intelligently engineer solar systems like human engineers design something like a computer to run itself. But somehow that only proves the awesomeness of God to this guy. Alternatively, he is using science to affirm his faith rather than having blind faith.
Herman Cummings once said:
I am the only person I know or ever heard of presently on this Earth that is qualified to teach Biblical Creation.
http://dangerousintersection.org/2008/05/26/a-case-study-in-circular-reasoning-herman-cummings/
*squints*
I would imagine that the gibberish would be even more ridiculous if he were drunk. I’d like a transcript of that.
Well, of course he did. He just seems like the kind of guy who knew how to treat a lady.
I picture adam driving his 18-wheel ATV SUV – AC blowing out the open winnders: Hey, Babe, out the left side you can see the brontosaurus (I named that you know) and see behind him – that’s a Tyrannosaurus (I named it that too) but those big teeth? Totally not for killing things – he eats nothing but coconuts (which I also named) and he needs the big teeth to get through the tough husks. Here have some jerky – its tofu – but its still good.
Nope! Read the OP again; he clearly didn’t give a fig for the first 2,733 years.
No, no, this is not fair. I was just re-reading ‘NO JOHN RINGO NO’ and came back to Pharyngula for some sanity and – what? What?
What?
I’m going to bed now.
Ow, ow OW! Oh, my head! The Stupid… the STUPID!… it HUUURRRTS!!!
Oh, and Acolyte of Sagan? That “not giving a fig” joke did *not* help.
Sorry, Carpetman.
I was going to say that he couldn’t leaf her alone, but that really would have been wrong.
Herman Cummings has described “himself as the foremost terrestrial authority on the book of Genesis”, adding “Until you can disprove that claim, accept it as fact.” He understands how science works (his definition of a scientific theory: “a guess about the unknown, using scientific jargon”); thus he accepts the age of the earth, but not the age of celestial objects:
Cummings had a small part in Selman v. Cobb County School District, the evolution disclaimer sticker case in Georgia. (See “If you litigate, they will come” at The Panda’s Thumb.)
Dammit, I wanted to be smart for the rest of the day, but reading that post has made me stupid(er)… this will take hours – hours I tell you! – to recover from.
[headdesk] [headdesk] [headdesk]
Good Lord. My Brain-Thinky score went down after reading that . . . . .
BTW…two words…
Intelligent Falling.
mobius @47, you’ve just won the thread.
I don’t know why, but I totally read that post in Bill O’Reilly’s voice. Can someone explain that to me? You can’t explain that.
They forgot to mention the Earth is flat!!! :-p
sbh quoting Herman Cummings @ 43;
Oh, this is priceless;
Spectrometers – clearly the creations of teh Debil…
One needs ‘license’ from an unevidenced sky fairy to think for oneself? What a lightless and sorely limited intellectual world it is that these bible-bashers inhabit. It is sad really.
Interesting coincidence – I was Googling today looking for images of drumlins – surprising how few pictures there are out online. I came across some new-agey/woo webpage claiming that drumlins and eskers are not the result of glaciation, but are caused by, you guessed it, comets. I was busy, and didn’t waste much time looking at it, but wow…
Lithified Detritus:
There a lots of photos of a Drumlin. Just look for photos of >a href=”http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=tufts+university&FORM=HDRSC2″>Tufts University. My dad majored in geology there back in the early 1960s. He still calls it The College on the Drumlin.
There are lots of them. Just search for images of Tufts University. My dad got a geology degree there back in the early 1960s (pre-continental drift acceptence) and he still refers to it as “The College on the Drumlin”.
That article could have been written by one of my physics students. After the exam on gravity and planetary motion. The rest of students aced the exam, according to Newton, Copernicus, Kepler and Galileo. But what do they know?
There are lots of them. Just search for images of Tufts University. My dad got a geology degree there back in the early 1960s (pre-continental drift acceptence) and he still refers to it as “The College on the Drumlin”.
As a physicist, I am always baffled by the sheer number of lunatics who think they can upend everything we’ve come to know about physics by pulling theories out of their own asses. We don’t call it a “gravitational lock”, we call it the centripetal force provided by gravity. And if comets were prevented from being captured by the gravitational fields of planets by God’s will then how does this clown explain other celestial bodies like asteroids and meteors that are attracted to planets and eventually collide with them. His omnipotent creator entity is chilling in the ethereal plane saying “You asteroids can go wherever you please but if I catch you goddamned comets hanging out with the planets I’m gonna put my size infinity boot up your ass.” Makes perfect sense to me.
Science is hard, so I’ll just make shit up.
@ Mobius #45
No! Stop that! It could result in believing what that … fellow wrote!
Classic crank tactic. “Well, how do you solve this conundrum? The actual answer doesn’t count!”.
“Were you there?!”
Oh dear, not another one of these pre-programmed idiots.
“No Billy, I wasn’t there. But that doesn’t stop me from figuring out how this happened. Here, let me explain.”
[Starts drawing frantically on the whiteboard.]
“Sometime in the distant past a large chunk of Dunning collided with a slightly small piece of Kruger. That impact fussed them and the pushed the resulting body onto a new vector. Unfortunately, that path intersected squarely with Mr. Cummings’ head.”
“You can’t know THAT! You weren’t there to see it!”
“Oh yes we can. By tracking the spalled fragments of scientific ignorance backwards along their paths we see that they all intersect quite neatly at Mr Cummings’ head. By analysing weights and velocities we can predict the size and shape of the impactor, and the content of those fragments leave little doubt as to the Dunning/Kruger nature of that object. You see Billy, by following the evidence and applying reason and knowledge of the demonstrated physical properties of the universe we don’t have to be there to understand what happened in the past.”
[Looks around, realises that Billy has run away from the evidence.]
[Spends the rest of the day drawing vector diagrams in the hopes of dodging further collisions with Cummings’ micro-fragments]
Now it all makes sense!
The thought of comets depositing their tails into neat, tear-drop shaped hills on the northern plains made me laugh hard enough for hot tea to end up in my nose. Thanks.
Has anybody ever asked these Creotards, “Was Moses there?”
@62
No ableism, please.
Creationist is insult enough. No need to invent new labels.
Tyrant al-Kalām:
He has read the book.
Well, it’s original, you’ve got to give them that much.
What the fuck is an apojove? Is that related to aphelion and perihelion, or did they just make it up?
The comets are clearly being pushed into their orbits by (possibly invisible) GOATS ON FIRE!!!!!
I can only quote Babbage:
“On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament], ‘Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?’ I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.”
Such a confusion of ideas.
We Are Not Amused :-(
(Come on… not even ‘Einstein was Wrong’? You get humans riding Triceratopi, we get God flings Comets? No fair!)
The stupid. It burns.
I’m still trying to understand what he thinks gravity exactly is. I probably shouldn’t. Declaring Dark Matter to be his god would make more sense (if only just).
I love the part where he says “I’m guessing”. Such a sudden outbreak of reason!
In fact, Poe’s Law still applies.
♥ ♥ ♥
Haaaaang on a second, for now I shall colossally outnerd you. Your Greek is but copypasta; you didn’t fix the ending or the accents and even kept the capital letter in the middle. Sad, sad. *headshake*
While the Babylonians and the Romans named the planets after gods, the ancient Greeks did not (until Hellenistic times). “The Greeks called it Φαέθων, Phaethon, ‘blazing'”, quoth the Pffft! of All Knowledge, fitting the pattern:
“The ancient Greeks of Hesiod’s time knew the planet [Mercury] as Στίλβων (Stilbon), meaning ‘the gleaming’, and Ἑρμάων (Hermaon).[96] Later Greeks called the planet Apollo when it was visible in the morning sky, and Hermes when visible in the evening. Around the 4th century BC, Greek astronomers came to understand that the two names referred to the same body, Hermes (Ερμής: Ermis), a planetary name which is retained in modern Greek.[97]”
“The Ancient Egyptians believed Venus to be two separate bodies […] Likewise, believing Venus to be two bodies, the Ancient Greeks called the morning star Φωσφόρος, Phosphoros (Latinized Phosphorus), the “Bringer of Light” or Ἐωσφόρος, Eosphoros (Latinized Eosphorus), the “Bringer of Dawn”. The evening star they called Hesperos (Latinized Hesperus) (Ἓσπερος, the “star of the evening”). By Hellenistic times, the ancient Greeks realized the two were the same planet,[139][140] which they named after their goddess of love, Aphrodite (Αφροδίτη)(Phoenician Astarte),[141] a planetary name that is retained in modern Greek.[142]”
“The Hellenistic Greeks also called the planet Πυρόεις Pyroeis, meaning ‘fiery’.”
Your turn. :-)
But you can’t spell it? :-)
Speaking of half-efforts, you forgot the http:// in your link. Without it, all links are interpreted as local.
Indeed.
FTW.
The name Triceratops doesn’t refer to a single individual, it refers to the entire genus. There is no plural. It’s like a Highlander: there can be only one.
…That works, too, but I meant to write “honesty”. I’m only waking up.
No plural in English? Pfft! Let’s try in Greek, then. Triceratopes?
#13 got to Intelligent Falling first. And the planetary motion thingy was actually Copernicus, not Gravity boy Newton. (Although, without gravity, where the hell would Copernicus be? Still dead, no doubt.)
And no, I never sweat the details. :-)
Well, we’ve always got 113 Amalthea….
http://comets-asteroids.sciencedaily.com/l/3125/113-Amalthea
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amalthea_(mythology)
No plural in Scientific. No plural according to the Code.
15 busterggi 1 May 2013 at 3:37 pm (UTC -5):
I hate both of those; they’re long and too broad. I voted for centaurs, duh ^-^
busterggi@15:
Well that only proves how wrong science can be. I mean, didn’t science for decades think Pluto was a planet, and then they found out it wasn’t one?
What? So… since science takes new data and self-corrects, that’s a bad thing? Further, Pluto is still there, but with the data we have, and the criteria set for being a planet, the data we have for Pluto suggests that Pluto cannot be classified as a planet.
This is more about nomenclature rather than science itself. The qualities we know of Pluto haven’t changed. The essential science behind Pluto wasn’t shown to be wrong. We set the terms for planets, and Pluto didn’t fit the bill. It was called a planet because that was the label originally attached to it.
This explains the whole Pluto thing.
So, if you think this shows a flaw in the scientific method, or how we do science, you are wrong. This is how it works. When an idea is shown to be erroneous, we either reject the idea outright, or try to adjust the idea so that it works. Depending on the error. Science is self-correcting.