This is the lounge. You can discuss anything you want, but you will do it kindly. Ook.
Status: Heavily Moderated; Previous thread
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
This is the lounge. You can discuss anything you want, but you will do it kindly. Ook.
Status: Heavily Moderated; Previous thread
I don’t feel guilty, no. :)
Fossilfishy, I gave up the musician lifestyle for 12 years in favor of the more traditional marriage, house, keep up with the Jones’ type of thing. Luckily for me I didn’t manage to slip one past the goalie and there were no kids involved, so when the marriage tanked I was lucky enough to be able to return to my roots and start playing professionally again. That was about a year ago and I’ve been happier than a Slinky on an escalator ever since.
I empathize deeply with missing it. If leaving it was the biggest mistake I ever made, coming back to it was the best thing I could have done. I’ll play now until they won’t let me anymore if I can help it.
Hi Caine! *pouncehug* Give my love to all the ratties, especially my (and Louis’) beautiful Vasco!
FossilFishy,
I’m pretty good with someone shouting out the changes, and sort of banging out a rhythm. I’m good with enough chords to do major/minor stuff close enough to make it sound right at decent volume. If I get a couple of practice runs, I can craft new chords that work with my small, clumsy hands and still sound legit.
Mostly what I have is a right hand that locks in on the beat, and so anything I play that is close enough to the melody is going to match the beat and not sound completely out of place.
Odious/Oderous Vulva, I’m in! I have a friend in a band called Shit Storm. It was a fun side project for the members and they made a list over beer, lots of beer, of all the things that they would never get to do because of the name. A decade later they’d done every one of those things including performing on live TV.
I see what you did there.
Azkyroth:
Good. I know you tried to help me, and it didn’t work out… and it doesn’t leave me any worse than I was 8 hours ago.
Hekuni Cat:
:pouncehug right back: and will do. Vasco gets much loving every day, he is the Lovebug™.
I’m sorry you’re not getting a break from the migraine, I loathe those cycles. When I get in them, it feels like being stalked by the damn thing, always awaiting the opportunity to slam full on.
Joe
Is a “bass ukulele player” anything like a left-handed screw-driver?
erik, I was never good enough to really make a living at it. I got paid but it never amounted to my costs. I don’t regret my marriage or my child, I’m better person for them. Life is different and that’s okay. I’ve been getting my creative kicks out of writing things. Mind you, if I could get my hands on a Harpejji wife and child might not see me for months.
So seven nude people were protesting AIDS cuts in John Boehner’s office, and of them, only three people were arrested. The ones arrested were women. Sorry for no link. Thought I had it figured out on the phone, but no such luck.
chigau,
Ummm… not quite? I’m not sure that “left-handed screw-driver” even makes sense, while “bass ukulele player” is actually a real thing. There is an actual “bass ukulele” and therefore a “bass ukulele player.” And it even sounds good… it doesn’t have the full range of a larger bass but otherwise it is alright.
:) :) :) :)
♥
I had friends who’s band consisted of every (regrettably only male) person who lived in their share house. Those who couldn’t play anything were given an electric guitar which was plugged into nothing at gigs. Their biggest “hit” was a cover of Wild Thing in which the lyrics were changed to “Wheel chair, you make my soul roll, you make everything. accessible…” played over and over until the venue pulled the plug to shut them down. They never played anywhere twice.
Damn, Joe, I wish I could help. I probably could loan you $200, but transfers from Australia might be complicated. (Western Union charges a lot. I just checked – $35 fee to send $200.)
Joe
re: left-handed screw-driver
yeah. joke.
—-
I don’t understand why you would assign a bass ukelele to someone completely devoid of musical ability.
Is it easy to play?
Difficult to screw-up?
Caine:
Exactly. And it’s exhausting, at least for me.
Hey Joe, must away to feed the bub. All I can offer is distraction at this time, would that I had real money.
So, as far as distractions go: how about doing up a set list for Odious Vulva’s first gig? Bonus points for absurd orchestration/arrangement. Mind you, you’re going to have to work at it as my last band did Rubber Ducky as a surf tune, Teddy Bear’s Picnic as a metal tune, and Daisy Bell (Bicycle Built for Two) as a reggae tune.
Good morning!
I see a new band is born while I sleep – can I be in it? I can do one of three things:
1) be a groupie
2) make ugly t-shirts (I mean, it’s not like Odious/Odorous Vulva needs great design, right?)
3) play an instrument (I could remember some violin, which can sound pretty cool if hooked up to an amp, but I can also be part of a really bad rhythm section; I love the triangle and giant cymbals).
Technically, I can sing, but there’s a reason I’m in a choir, and not striking out in a solo career. :)
(I did play in my brother’s band once in high school, and it was a lot of fun – that collective groove feeling – but I get it these days from the choir. Lots of people on the same wave = high!!)
chigau
I think you should invent a left-handed screwdriver and play that, which means the band wins for originality.
Improbable Joe
Really wish there was a way to get money to you. :(
+++
Tony
I went to the douching thread and read all the comments. Now I’m wondering, do all trolls sound the same? Because in tone, logic and also persistence, this one sounded more or less exactly the same as the one from the previous relaly long thread.
rq:
Sometimes there can be variation. The 3 Stooges in the Douche thread seem to be reading from a similar playbook, though different chapters-each more ‘advanced’ than the last.
Huh, just realized we have multiple ‘sightings’ of late.
Christtester
Noelplum99
Reneehendricks
Joe1060
Reappaden
Must be kinda like the old days for long time Pharyngulites.
Oh and lest I forget, the ever-annoyingly-present
Joed
I’m listening to Christmas songs. Why? I don’t know. Why did I always pick at scabs?
Someone shoot me now.
http://www.ohnopodcast.com/
I just learned about this ongoing podcast series involving two skeptics who regularly tackle woo and superstition, going so far as to join religious groups, or sign up for CAM treatments. It looks to be quite a funny angle to debunk from.
Paging JANINE.
Beatrice needs non xmas music. Stat.
Tony, a good reminder! There are some videos Janine linked yesterday that I haven’t gone through yet.
And there was nolajim.
Beatrice Tony beat me to it.
Good luck getting ‘It’s beginning to look a lot like…’ out of your head! (Since we got the Michael Buble Christmas CD, that’s the first thing I think of when someone says ‘Christmas music’.Thanks a lot.)
I’ve been home all morning. I go down to check the mail* and lo and behold there’s a note about a registered letter I have to go pick up tomorrow at the post office. I was at home. The postman didn’t ring. Once, twice or any number of times.
*I’m waiting for news about a job I almost certainly didn’t get
rq, oh, it’s that time of the year again?
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fish-Men.
(A Very Scary Solstice)
Not quite. The old days were exciting, while these days trolls just cause us to utter exasperated groans. And last time I checked, reappaden wasnt a troll. But maybe that’s changed, I’ haven’t been following goings-on closely.(to the point that I missed that Rebecca Watson is in my town in a couple of days)
*reads the Douche thread*
Ok, I take that back.
Not sure about troll, but reappaden is at least a moron.
I’m Dreaming Of a Dead City
Well, there goes Michael Buble right out of my head – thanks again, Beatrice. :) I’m going to make sure my sister sees the fishmen bit.
Also, I hope that registered letter has some good news!
rorschach
Perhaps the real trolls have been scared off, and now the morons are in the ascendancy?
John,
Thanks! I like this version of
ChristmasSolstice songs much better.John
That wasn’t bad, but I’ve never been a fan of that song. :P No matter how/how well it’s done, something about it just rubs me the wrong way. (And no, not the cute little swimming Cthulhus.)
But I’ve got the fishmen on repeat – I don’t know why, but it’s making me giggle every time, and it’s keeping me away from my work.
Yes!
Red Dwarf is on ….. right now. Silly as ever, but good fun.
HI there
Oh goodness, I really don’t like busy Wednesdays after regular Tuesdays.
BUt the little one had her kidney-check-up, in which they asessed that she has a perfectly working 4X9 cm kidney (wow, that’s big for such a small creature, but on the other hand she only has one).
And now I’ll be damned if I don’t take 30 min break before I start decontaminating the flat.
+++
Reappaden is the legendary coiner of the phrase “If she doesn’t want to be called a bitch she shouldn’t behave like one”, which I think put him firmly into the troll category.
Giliell
Hooray for good kidneys, even if there is only one!!
sign a whitehouse petition (or not) https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/change-income-tax-code/q74tmhr1
I just spotted chigau’s note over at my defunct blog (I don’t check my nym@gmail.com all that often, sorry).
Phsyically, I am fine.
thanks Og, see you when we see you
This is about the only Christmas song that I will link to.
Giliell:
There was something else REAP said over at B&W a few months back that really made me irate, but I can’t remember what it was…oh wait. It was after Wooly Bumblebee withdrew her ceasefire in the wake of Greta asking for financial assistance. I’d have to search the thread for what he said, but IIRC, he defended Bumblefuck. Oh but the two of them earned my ire.
Thanks for checking in, Oggie.
(have a *huge* hug)
Ogvorbis
Very relieved to see you. Hugs?
If not, then just have my best wishes for you.
Ogvorbis, many virtual *hugs*.
I also want to apologize to Nepenthe. I triggered (not your fault!) because you were way too close to how I view myself (not how others view me! I am not claiming you view me as a rapist!) and I failed to grok the sarcasm. Sorry.
Oh, Sh*t!
Anti-semite Hungarian rightist: “List Jews who pose security risk” http://www.jpost.com/International/Article.aspx?id=293673
Background about Jobbik, “The Movement for a Better Hungary” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jobbik They blame the bad economy and everything else on Jews, gypsies and homosexuals.
[GO UMEÅ!].. Light therapy at bus stops to cheer north Sweden commuters http://medicalxpress.com/news/2012-11-therapy-bus-north-sweden-commuters.html Bus stops in the northern Swedish town of Umeå have been fitted with light therapy panels to help commuters fight off the winter blues, the energy company behind the move said Tuesday.
— — — — — —
Japan’s newest floating train is one blistering maglev http://phys.org/news/2012-11-japan-blistering-maglev.html
— — — — — — — — —
New study points to potential new therapies for cancer and other diseases http://medicalxpress.com/news/2012-11-potential-therapies-cancer-diseases.html
— — — — — — — —
NASA seeks concepts for innovative uses of large space telescopes http://phys.org/news/2012-11-nasa-concepts-large-space-telescopes.html
— — — — — —
Judge orders tobacco companies to say they lied http://medicalxpress.com/news/2012-11-tobacco-companies-lied.html
Ogvorbis, I’m glad to see you!
If the band needs/wants/tolerates a reasonably-good clarinetist, a decent recorder-player, or a mediocre oboist, then I’m the woman for the job!
:)
I also have a crumhorn.
:) :)
(In fact, I could probably pick up pretty much any kind of woodwind. Just let me know. Someone else may have to provide the instrument, though.)
–
Ogvorbis!!!
*hugs/booze/chocolate/squid*
We were worried.
–
I still am.
… so in today’s* vapid celebrity news, a child actor on Two and a Half Men apparently dissed the show as ‘filth’ after falling in with the Seventh Day Adventists.
I feel vaguely bad for the guy, what with the Adventists thing. Child stars, y’know. Fringe religions and substance abuse problems, take your pick. And now he’s got (you ready for the laugh?) Stephen Baldwin and Charlie Sheen backing him, generally, giving kind advice…
(Yeah, there’s a certain beautiful symmetry to that. ‘Mr. Jones? The irritating born again is on line one, the famously debauched hedonist on line two… Whom shall I tell to hold?’ Anyway.)
… and then again, as someone who’s actually seen Two and a Half Men on occasion (mostly in such places as flights where that was the entertainment, take it or leave it, and also they propped my eyes open with clamps à la A Clockwork Orange), I find myself thinking the Adventists might be onto something.
Okay. So it’s pretty clearly more a stopped clock thing, there. With them and Sheen, even…
Speaking of, I feel kinda guilty for the thought, even (there are things I would wish on no one**), but I almost find myself wishing Sheen could get into something wacky like that, too. Just for the headline. Reading that, it’d be like: well, okay, that’s really all that was left, wasn’t it?
(*/Okay, so probably it’s last week’s. Not exactly my beat.)
(**/Can I just wish he gets on it for the weekend? Then, say, sobers up, holds another press conference to explain that it was only High/Drunk Charlie who joined the Moonies, and he’s done with that now?)
Ogvorbis
That worries me.
http://boingboing.net/2012/11/28/andrew-weev-auernheimer-t.html
Gawker is trying to paint a racist, sexist bullying sociopath as a ‘geek hero’
Gawker, go fuck yourselves
!!WARNING TRIGGER ALERT!!
http://nation.time.com/2012/11/28/man-says-prayer-group-leader-told-him-to-kill-wife/
sad, so very freakin sad
Ogvorbis!!!! {{hugs you}} thank you for letting us know – and please, please take care of yourself. fwiw there are a LOT of people here who wish you well. sendingyoutransatlantickittenssteamtrainsgoodcigars and NiceCupsOfTea(orNiceDramOfWhiskyaspreferredorevenBoth)
“The ones arrested were women”
But there is no war on women.
— — — — — — —
“Ogvorbis, I’m glad to see you!”
Seconded.
— — — — — — —
I just realised there is an answer to the theodicy problem:
God can -like the protagonist in “Day Break” (why did they not make a second season?)- re-set time, to avoid mayhem. Unfortunately, the butterfly effect creates secondary mayhem for each change,
so El/Yaweh is stuck choosing betwen suboptimal solutions.
.
For instance, if not early Christians had burned the library of Alexandria and thrown the western world into a dark age, we would have achieved spaceflight too early and attracted the hostile attention of a Vogon scout ship passing through the system ca. AD 1000.
.
And if not Hitler had seized power and turned the world inside out, Zlorf the Horrible would have done the same two decades later, but with access to nuclear bombs.
.
I know the idea is full of holes, but someone like Bill O’Reilly might get away with it considering the intellectual level in apologist circles.
Damn, I wish I could patent the idea and get filthy rich on stupidity…
@Birgader
Sadly not a new idea. Sacrificing one of the three legs of the God stool is always the solution to the problem, the second part of the solution is trying to lie and say the leg is still there.
Joe, do you have PayPal?
#58 birgerjohansson
Julius Ceasar was an early christian? Besides it is my understanding that the librarian managed to save a lot of the good stuff
I wonder if something like cashier’s checks, coupled with Fed Ex Overnight, might be workable for Joe’s situation…if someone can provide the $$$$….
–
broboxley, the Library of Alexandria was destroyed on more than one occasion. Julius Caesar need not have been involved.
–
There was more than one library, and more than one fire. Hopefully, the librarian got to them all.
The Librarian stored most of it in L-Space (an underused wing of the New York Public Library took some, the Unseen University’s library also unknowingly donated some L-space). Of course, who’s going to argue with a 300-pound orange librarian?
Only someone who’s interested in having their head unscrewed by a 300-pound orangutan.
–
*hears trebuchet launch outside*
Ogvorbis, welcome back. A crate of your favorite swill is on the way.
So now the orangutan is sitting on it all, and not letting anyone near it? The shame.
Hi Ogvorbis!
Of course not. And Tony‘s a Feminazi for even mentioning it, too.
chigau:
The joke was always that the bass ukulele was always in the shop for one made up reason or another.
FossilFishy:
No time for Odious Vulva set lists at the moment, but I’ll get on it as time permits.
rq & cicely: pick instruments you’re not very good at, so you can be as not very good as me. There’s no fun in some people being much better than others. :)
Esteleth: PayPal doesn’t work for me, because the only way for me to get at the money is through my bank account, which is currently $1000 in the hole.
Joe: All right, then, “some kind of brass” it is!
:D
–
Oooh! And I am also demonstrably not very good with a bowed psaltery…which I also have. What luck!
–
Joe
I’ll just sing, then. That should about do it. (I was going to say piano, but I mean, how bad can you be at piano? It’s always in-key – as long as it’s tuned.)
+++
Dalillama
I can only agree. Tony is not only a troll, now, but a total Feminazi. Tsk. The nerve.
cicely
“Some kind of brass” can mean all kinds of things… :P THough I suppose that’s the point.
I can play trumpet, baritone, euphonium, guitar (six string flat strum), and have some experience on the strumpet.
Oggie!!! (pouncehug}
We have been missing you. So happy to see you here!
I am also a spectacularly untalented vocalist.
–
I’m going to take a nap. I am actually in bed right now, typing on my phone with a cat on my tummy. It is the cutest thing ever… I say “nap” and.my dog RACES UP THESTAIRS as fast as she can and hops in the bed. Then it is a race to see which cat makes it first, and they take turns with me over the course of the nap.
Hey, me too!
And I don’t mean to brag or nothin’, but I’m something of a musical anti-polymath, myself. With demonstrated incompetence on many instruments, over the years. You name it, I’ve wrecked someone’s desire ever to hear it again.
(/It’s no big thing… Minutes, hours, sometimes entire days of skills development on the same instrument will go by, and I’ll get to thinking something like: ‘Yes, yes, very satisfying… And almost certainly the worse thing that could possibly be done with this particular instrument… Saaayyy.. Is that a calliope? I think it’s time I moved on…’)
Oh. I can also sing second tenor.
Oh, music?
I am a classically trained pianist. Or was. I haven’t touched a piano in years. I also have small hands (I can span an octave and a quarter with difficulty), which makes playing anything complex difficult.
I also have had singing lessons. I am an alto on a good day (and I regret it the next day), generally a contralto. There are not very many contralto parts written, as it is an uncommon voice. As a result, I frequently found myself singing tenor lines. Which was itself rather problematic, as pitch aside, my timbre is what my voice teacher referred to as “classically feminine,” so me singing tenor sounds odd to some people. Bah. I used to have great fun singing countertenor parts written for castratti. :D
Nowadays most of my musical stuff lies in consumption rather than production. Oh, and dancing. I love ballroom and English country dancing.
“I can’t sing, I can’t dance….”
–
de rigeur
This is me too. Everyone else in the family plays 3+ instruments, but I’ve not got a musical bone in my body.
Ogvorbis – If I may, I will send you a great big hug.
–
I see what you did there. : D
I can sing and play keyboards. Can I be in the band??
: D
How big are your hands, ednaz? *holds up tiny paws*
Texas law enforcement officials are revealing more Moments of Mormon Madness related to the FLDS Yearning for Zion ranch. What Utah enforcement officials failed to do in relation to the twin towns of Colorado City/Hilldale on the Utah, Arizona border, (and what Utah officials continually fail to do in regard to other polygamous colonies in Utah), Texas is doing.
Are there too many mainstream mormons in Utah that will not prosecute money laundering, child sexual abuse, and homeschooling scams on Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints compounds? What is their problem?
It was Texas that ended up arresting Warren Jeffs, when Jeffs had been the head of a number of criminal activities in Utah for decades. Jeffs goofed up when he moved part of his flock to Texas.
San Angelo Standard Times link.
In a recent ABC 20-20 show, polygamists on the Utah/Arizona border were outed for, among other things, conducting unsupervised home school programs, (Utah state law does not require that home schools be supervised nor that they meet any requirements), that left 18 year olds unable to read at a first grade level. Children were taught that Warren Jeffs was/is President of the USA.
I also also can’t play keyboards, or guitar.
(I’m going for that coveted “most useless” spot in The Band.)
–
We should totally form some kind of un-band.
… I also write music dreadfully. Therefore volunteering also as song-unwriter.
And y’know, that should totally be a category. With subtype unsinger/song-unwriter, of course.
(/Granted, this kinda already is a category in pop; I guess I’m just suggesting now it be labelled a little more clearly.)
I sang in three different choirs (church*, elementary school, high school), but I think that I actually can’t hold a tune all that well. I have no idea why they let my sing in any of those.
* I got kicked out of that one, together with my then best friend. We would skip rehearsals to walk in the nearby park and chat, and the nun leading the choir eventually got angry and kicked us out
Ogvorbis
Being able to sing second tenor gets you off the job of singing, background or otherwise. Unless you redefine ‘able’.
And pray, do tell, good sir, how doth one play a strumpet?
Esteleth
You’re too talented on the piano for the band. Pick something you can’t play. While I’m technically classically trained as well, I quit for violin early enough to be considered not-that-great. Didn’t get to the over-octave extensions, at any rate. Got to some digital gymnastics on the violin, though.
Also, singing lessons? No singing for you in this band. If you have a bad sense of rhythm, you can bang on a pot.
ednaz
The point is to play what you can’t, we’re going for cacophonic, not polyphonic, kind of like this. At least, that’s what I understood from the guidelines above.
Hey Oggie, welcome back.
…why don’t they just build smaller pianos?
Good evening
I have a wonderful singing voice for nursery songs and other children’s songs. My daughters’ kindergarten teachers are delighted by my ability to sing Ich geh mit meiner Laterne
And there’s a good chance that my tooth wants to go seperate ways. If it’s not better by tomorrow it’s getting out by Friday
Hugs for Ogvorbis
Good to see you.
++++
Also, if you wrote two a customer service department that and item you bought 2 months ago is already broken and they wrote you back that they can’t deliver the item anymore and hope that you would find something else, but all in a sort of standardized auto-reply mail, would you think that they mean you can just pick a similar item?
I used to sing first tenor. Very good voice. A few years ago, I came down with pneumonia (well, actually it was Acute somethingorother Syndrome (in the olde dayes that was Bronchial Pneumonia)). So I have gone from singing in G to E or D.
Old joke.
I was bragging about Girl, her trumpet playing prowess, and referenced a (s)trumpet solo during a halftime field show and, well, the horde kinda took it and ran.
By the way, the whole point is to make Improbable Joe the most stellar musician in the band. :)
Muahahaha
Joe and the Misfits? A band able to play in three time signatures and five keys at once!
In addition to my glee at my summer-SAD diminishing, I love this time of year. Because gingerbread.
birgirjohannson@58,
Something very like that has already been done in The Star Diaries by Stanislaw Lem. In the 20th Voyage, his protagonist Ijon Tichy recruits himself to lead THEOHIPPIP (Teleotelechronistic-Historical Engineering to Optimize the Hyperputerized Implementation of Paleological Programming and Interplanetary Planning). The mission of THEOHIPPIP is:
But (of course) the whole mess turns out to be the result of THEOHIPPIP’s activities.
U.S. House of Representatives Republicans are blithely continuing down the path of stupidity when it comes to the House Committee on Science:
Salon link.
Ooo! I’m awful on the violin! I even have references! Those being the neighbours. And… umm… I guess, some of their neighbours…
Tho’ I guess, as a matter of keeping things straight, references aren’t going to cut it on their own, are they? There will probably have to be anti-auditions, I’d expect…
(/’I’m sorry. As I believe I may have been able to work out what key you were aiming for, I just don’t see you fitting in, here. Next!’)
Noooooooo!!!!!
–
Improbable Joe and the Odious Vulva.
Improbable Joe and His Phantom Uvula.
–
AJ Milne @53, There’s already a good parody up of that Two and a Half Men is “filth” comment. See http://www.salon.com/2012/11/28/rainn_wilson_parodies_angus_t_jones_meltdown/
video at the link
Crisis maybe averted! My wife can maybe get her check Thursday and wire me some money tomorrow for the movers.
Things I learned on Wikipedia today:
At one point, there was job at the English court called “Groom of the Stool.” This officer was responsible for maintaining the King’s toilet and chamber-pot, and assisting the King in using said items. Including wiping.
Henry VIII expanded the powers of this post by putting the Groom in charge of fiscal policy.
And I’ll bet I could kill on the bagpipes!
(If my brother would lend me his bagpipes.)
–
My tentacles are all cramping from keeping crossed on your behalf, Joe.
–
Ogvorbis
Damn, the choir needs some (preferably first) tenors. Oh well, there goes my fishing for voices. And three time signatures, five keys? I think we can do better than that. See my link for ednaz above. That’s waht we’re aiming for, with some half-decent guitar solos-in-the-Grand-Canyon from Joe himself overtop.
cicely
All of those names will have to be put to the vote. Odious/Odorous Vulva was floating around this morning.
AJ Milne
You’re on the violin, then. Make sure you tune it (in)correctly.
+++
gingerbread
That’s it. Tomorrow I’m pulling out the single bestest evererer most delicious lickingly wonderful gingerbread recipe EVER. And posting it here. And nobody will ever make their own gingerbread again (because it’s a heck of a lot of gingerbread dough – it’ll last until Easter).
So a manly, but frightened dude uses some brass knuckles to kill a spider.
Good video, especially if you want to feel that you are smarter than at least one guy:
http://gawker.com/5963946/this-is-why-you-shouldnt-use-brass-knuckles-to-kill-a-spider
Improbable Joe
YAY!!! That is awesome news!!
cicely
For a moment, I read that as ‘bangpipes’. Can we put those in the corner with the strumpet?
(By the way, AWESOME.)
Well, he already had a shitty job, so what was a little more shit, right?
Music available for Improbable Joe and His Phantom Uvula:
This one looks like a good bet.
This one is a very nice waltz.
This one looks a little more difficult, but it is a nice string quartet.
And this one requires bassoons and I don’t know if anyone here knows how to make one of those things work.
Ogvorbis
cicely‘s bagpipes will stand in nicely, I think.
rq – How about I hold up my lighter and yell woo-hoo?
Esteleth – LOVE your new nym!
My hands are probably between medium and large. : ) I haven’t actually played the keyboards in a long time.
No musical ability? Try the didgeridoo. You can make one out of plumbing pipe for around $3, and nobody expects music from a piece of sewer pipe. (I couldn’t find a good set of instructions by searching “PVC didgeridoo”, so I’ll try to make a vid.) When near real musicians, I sort of play rhythmic sounds.
Ukuleles are also easy and not taken seriously, but also have a lot of possibility. I only do fingerpicking, not strumming, so I don’t have to sing. You can get a fair uke for $40, and look up “ukulele tabs” to learn to pick out tunes. Plenty of strumming vids out there, if you can sing along.
i can play the washboard and the whimmy-diddle. Because on my mom’s side I am a hick.
I feel that something by P.D.Q. Bach would be good, for openers.
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Hey! We could sell UnTickets! “This ticket exempts bearer from otherwise-compulsory attendance at Improbable Joe and His Phantom Uvula‘s Concert for Chairity, <insert date, time, place, & other folderol>”
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As evinced by the fact that I fail at capitalization in my @115.
<b<cicely
Reminds me of an old cartoon with, ironically, an old guy with bagpipes on a streetcorner, his hat on the ground, and the sign ‘Pay or I’ll Play’ leaning against it. Lots of money in that would-be busker’s hat.
I say we do it – guaranteed to make us all millionaires, right?
Esteleth
What’s a whimmy-diddle?
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Need help, brain block: what do you call it when (for example) phone companies offer discounts for a limited time? Not a sale, but…? I know there’s a word out there, but I can’t find it and it’s important. The online Latvian -> English dictionary is picking the wrong meaning of the Latvian word to translate, so I’m throwing it out to you all by definition.
rq 119
“limited time offer” is usually what I see
rq
Limited offer?
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Shit, shit, shit, this thooth hurts.
Maybe I can manage to go to the dentist tomorrow afternoon…
I have played flute, piccolo, oboe, clarinet, and alto sax, so I could probably pick up bassoon with some practice. And probably sound like a mortally wounded animal in the process.
Duet for Strumpet and Bangpipes
More of an instrumental piece, but we could maybe re-arrange it later as Trio for Strumpet, Bangpipes, and Yodeller.
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Well, in theory, yes…but my hands are too small to allow me to reach the lower right-hand keys. I haz experimentally determined this. It made me sad.
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A promotion?
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Hee hee. Awesome.
… or a pricing structure in which the ‘gold’ seats ticket gets you safely out of earshot; the cheap seats are next to the stage, and, accordingly, heavily bombarded by the PA.
rq, a whimmy-diddle is rather like a washboard that has been cut into eight-inch long, inch-wide strips.
as a Doudlas Adams tribute:
Trio for Strumpet, Bangpipes, Yodeller and Whimmy-Diddle.
Loss leader? Gimmick? Fraud? Hook?
#123
“cell company B has a limited time promotion” works
“Trio for Strumpet, Bangpipes, and Buffoon”
I can play the Buffoon very well
sorry folks.
i did it again. why do i let this shit get to me?
I like it!
:D
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Thanks for the words. One of those feels right, and sorry, Ogvorbis, it isn’t ‘fraud’.
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I suggest: Trio for Strumpet, Bangpipe, Yodeller, Whimmy-Diddle and Buffoon.
This should be the title piece of our debut concert, which should be exactly one song long.
AJ Milne – that’s not a bad idea. Except those ‘gold’ seats would probably have to be at that fancy bar way across town, to be completely out of earshot…
Ogvorbis
Did what again? (Am I allowed to ask?)
Over on the douche thread I started to engage with a troll regarding rape and I just can’t face it. I have a real nice panic attack going because I know what I did llng ago. Sorry.
*moar hugs/booze/chocolate&squid* for Ogvorbis.
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*hugs* and *calming manatees* for Oggie
Ogvorbis
You got into the douche thread?
Oooooh. I just finished reading through that – it has its moments, I giggled at some of the (actually funny) comments, but all in all I choose not to engage.
You have nothing to be sorry about. Can I help somehow?
In the spirit of the un-band, instead of playing guitar I’ll sort of play guitar effects. After all, I’ve always wondered what the knobs on all these pedals do. And I have a lot of them, even after the summer’s big sell-off… :)
Og/#133:
(Punches shoulder.)
All I got. Me, I’m impressed you try.
Improbable Joe
That sounds more like it. I suppose now we unrehearse, is that right?
…can anyone explain to me why all of a sudden it has become really fucking hard to find coats that are more than crotch length? Or is it just my imagination?
Yup. Really am that stupid it seems.
And, from the comments, no question that calling it the douche thread is eminently apropos.
Oggie
I think you did the sensible thing, just withdraw from the thread.
It plagues you enough, you don’t need to add to the burden.
Although apparently if you’re a woman it’s culturally disrespectful to play a didgeridoo.
Ogvorbis
I don’t think you’re stupid, if that counts for anything.
Here, have some future gingerbread instead and concentrate on the music.
But I agree, it is definitely a douche thread.
rq, I’m going to “practice” by packing all my gear away for the road trip. :)
No, rq. You are over-thinking this.
We each pick up our instruments (or “instruments”) and sheet music for the first time as we go on-stage.
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Improbable Joe:
Did you check out the sheet music up at #111? Look doable for the band?
Azkyroth
Seriously? Because… Women?
(And are we all about being culturally respectful? Here?)
cicely
That was more or less my question. I’ll just forget where I left my instrument now.
Improbable Joe
You do that. And remember to take extra-long unpacking the instruments, preferably the day of the concert, about 10 minutes before getting on-stage.
Ogvorbis
Here’s my reaction to #111: GGGRKJLSLI*SUCJF:SADU{PENS and then I cried for a bit.
Joe:
Then its a go? Kewl.
A few years ago, I gave some copies of the Faerie Waltz to Girl’s band director. He handed it out on the first day of spring concert practice and just gave a “one . . . two . . . one, two, three, four” and started conducting. It was, apparently, hilarious. Especially for those who attempted to play it.
Ogvorbis,
Sounds like fun… evil, evil fun. :)
Nick Gotts (formerly KG),
Yes, Lem was a polymath who deserves to be mentioned alongside all the SF greats. Most of his works have stood the test of time, not an easy thing to do in SF. He was so far ahead of the curve that he anticipated virtual reality and micro/nanotech in 1966!
— — — — — — — — — —
Ogvorbis,
Anyone who doubt we are just another animal should check out the trolls. Some people lack empathy, some are plain stupid. If it was practically possible, I would out the worst trolls and show their families ad co-workers their writigs.
I don’t recall the link, but apparently a Half-Assed-Pink-Version of a book called “The Dangerous Book for Boys” or some such was put out which suggested, among other toned-down things, that girls learn to play the didgeridoo, and some aboriginal group or leader put out a statement that this was unacceptable and insulting/appropriation/some such since playing the didgeridoo was specifically reserved for men in their traditional culture.
*mega-eyeroll*
Huh. Interesting.
Azkyroth
Oh dear. Can’t have that. :P
Well, I’ve (attempted) to play the didgeridoo, because because. Oh well.
Ogvorbis
Definitely evil fun.
Many hugs, and I’m glad you’re back.
Improbable Joe
Good luck with the last of the packing. It’s almost over. (Well, except for that drive, but, you know.)
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Good night to all – so long and thanks for all the giggles (no fish for me, thanks).
I like this idea of an unrehearsal. I think it may suit my work ethic pretty well.
… oh, I’m not saying I’m not committed or nothin’. And honest, I was trying to think of an appropriately tedious, repetitious, time-consuming, arduous way to unpolish my performance to imperfection…
But I haven’t come up with anything, anyway. And, after all, yeah, this sounds so much more like my kind of thing.
(/Also, I think unrehearsal should maybe involve drinking. Directly before the performance. Also days before.)
Well, I guess that we could, the night before the performance, all take our instruments to the top of the bleachers at the nearest football stadium, and hurl them “downstairs” a couple of times.
You got something against drinking during the performance?
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Azkyroth:
Coats stop at the crotch because thats where the most sacred body parts of women and men are found. God told me.
(If the creationust idiot in the ‘Dome can invoke God for any reason, I gets to do it too)
Come to think of it, that should probably be mandatory.
… also, quite possibly, medically necessary. For the audience, as well.
Given the number of participants in this Band, is there anyone left to be the Audience?
I suck…
…at playing an instrument…
…the musical ones.
I will be in the audience.
For some reason, I have this image of an unperformance being where the audience plays music and the band sits around and ignores them.
I thought the least-demanding musical instrument is the triangle, but peeking into Wikipedia shows that apparently, that too needs some skill.
Hee hee…
Africa for Norway.
… see also the top YouTube comment:
The weird part is, it seems to be a NEW thing in the last year or two.
Yay! Oggie! Good to see you. Have all the e-hugs! And stay out of stupid threads, you silly boy you! It’s safe here in the Lounge.
As to the band, I can sing quite decently so I nominate myself as lead guitar. I could play Stairway to Heaven on an acoustic 30 years ago, but I have pretty much not touched it in 25 years. I will sing, but only if it’s in the works of PDQ Bach, for when we go Switched-On-Classics.
*hugs* to Ogvorbis
Cider caramel update: L made a second batch, with ginger, cinnamon and clove. It turned out wonderfully tasty, and less sticky because he cooked them to hard ball instead of soft ball.
…at the very length, crotch-length “trench coats” are a new thing in the last year or so.
rq
YES please! I love ginger cake. I do not know how to make ginger cake. Nobody else in the family likes ginger. I NEED TO LEARN TO MAKE GINGER CAKE!!!!!!!!111!! Succulent and moist and deeply, deeply gingery …. with chunks of ginger in it …
My neighbour makes the best ginger cake in the world. But she is my neighbour, I can’t just kidnap her and make her make ginger cake every day :((((((
Ogvorbis: Good to see you. *hugs*
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Let’s see, what can I do in the un-band? I was pretty good at the clarinet, for a high-schooler, but I quit after 10th grade. I haven’t even picked it up in about 8 years, and I’m now losing my ability to read music. So that should be about right, eh?
I also like to sing, but completely lack the ability to carry a tune unless there’s strong instrumental AND vocal support to keep me in the right key. Singing in a group, without having to be any good, is one of the very few things I miss about church.
My brother got the music genes in the family. He has a beautiful voice and plays piano. The rest of us are fairly hopeless.
*hugs* to Oggie. Please do whatever is best for you, but know that there are lots of us here who love you and miss you when you’re not here.
I now have a working car window and another $600 on my credit card bill. Easy come, easy go.
I have to brag on my kid a little. He came home from school saying that they added a new song in chorus for the christmas concert – Baby It’s Cold Outside*. Before I could figure out what to say about it, he said “We all thought it was kind of creepy.” Upon more discussion, turns out that the whole high school group realized it was creepy for all the right reasons. Hooray for some aware youth!
*I have a complicated relationship with this song, myself. I understand the problems with it, but it’s so catchy and fun to sing. And also, I was raised in a way so as to have to sublimate my own desires by saying no to things even when I didn’t want to, so I identify with sending mixed signals.
Ogvorbis, good to see you back. Sorry you were triggered : ( Hope you’re doing a little better.
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Hullo, Lounge. I feel as though all I’ve been doing is catching up and missing out on the silly fun here. Hope everyone is doing well. I’m a little tired but busy with work, which is good. I’m a bit scatter-brained. What should I have for dinner?
I have always thought it was super creepy. It weirds me out. But, as you say, it’s sadly realistic in terms of the way many women are socialized. That is, to either say no in a gentle and demure way when they actually want to scream “FUCK OFF,” or, to say no in a gentle and demure way when they really want to say “HELL YES” in order not to seem “slutty.”
Oh dear, I spend a few hours asleep and suddenly The Odious Vulvas has become a race to the bottom. Fantastic! Despite my lack of professional quality guitar playing I’m obviously unsuited to that position. Fortunately, I think vocalist is a lock for me. Why’s that you say? Because I have evidence, that’s right you skeptics you, EVIDENCE, of my horrid singing.
In uni I was required to be in the choir because guitar isn’t an orchestra instrument and I had to have an ensemble credit. Over the first few weeks of classes every time I opened my mouth the conductor cut us off and said “Just the Basses”. It got to the point where he would simply cut us off, look at me, and say “From measure 42.” at which point I’d just mouth the words. How’s about that? Okay, okay, he’s dead now and can’t testify, unless of course you’ll accept spectral evidence? No? Damn, you people are hard to please. Fine.
I have recordings. There, are you happy? I will only release them to the world if I absolutely must because the quality of the vocals would make you beg for Cuthulu’s rise even if you had to be last in the devouring queue.
Re: poor choir singing
When I was in college, my grandpa would always ask what classes I had registered for. One semester, I listed them off, including a choir credit I had taken as required. He quipped, “You’re taking music, eh? That’ll lower your average.” [yeah, he’s still an asshole, then as now]
The kicker was, I got my grades back at the end of the semester, all As except for a B in choir. He was right. Because of the music credit, my GPA that semester was a 3.91 on a 4.0 scale. I hate when he’s right. (No, I didn’t confess it to him).
Oh and I can’t begin to explain just how happy it makes me that someone here (cicely) has a crumhorn. The closest I can come is a shakuhachi made out of grey PVC plumbing tubes.
re: Baby it’s Cold Outside
If the singers are divided by gender they should switch ‘roles’.
Portia: when I panicked about having be in choir despite not being able to sing, they told me, “Don’t worry, it’s graded on attendance.” My relief only lasted until I saw the schedule: 8:30 AM Monday, Wednesday and Friday. There are morning people and then there is me. I damn near didn’t pass.
NEW THREAD.