What a waste of a fine May day


The wingnuts had a party in DC! It was called May Day: A Cry to God for a Nation in Distress, and consisted of a small mob of prayerful crazies listening to people at the microphone beg God to force Hollywood to make more movies like Gibson’s Passion, and by the way, make sure that hussy Dakota Fanning isn’t in them. It’s an odd way to help a nation in distress, by asking for more torture porn.

Alas, a Minnesotan was also there, and she embarrassed us with this little speech:

And father, we repent that we have not used godly wisdom when we have elected officials into elected positions in our state and nation, father, and that it has opened the door, that Minnesota holds the responsibility for placing the first Muslim in Congress, and Father, for that we repent.

It’s true. Not only did Minnesota elect Michele Bachmann, but we also elected Keith Ellison. Unlike Bachmann, though, Ellison seems to be more interested in getting his secular job done in Washington, and doesn’t wave his religion like a bloody flag.

Maybe Crazy Minnesota Lady should have asked forgiveness for electing an incompetent right wing loon to office, instead.

Comments

  1. baldywilson says

    How the hell does one “repent” on behalf of every person who voted for a person in an election? Isn’t that rather presumptuous?

  2. Pete Moulton says

    But…but…but…Isn’t the loon your state bird?

    Of course, Bachmann’s your state fruitbat.

  3. Matt Penfold says

    How the hell does one “repent” on behalf of every person who voted for a person in an election? Isn’t that rather presumptuous?

    Of course it is presumptuous. Great religiosity and arrogance seem to go hand in hand with each other.

  4. Abdul Alhazred says

    What we need is a return to the original meaning of May Day.

    It’s supposed to be when outdoor fucking starts. :)

  5. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    Is the woman talking about how big god is (insert joke here) this woman with a new haircut?

  6. Cerberus says

    Yeah, over here the anarachists “took over” the state building (just the steps to it, really) and there was a massive city-stopping march of socialists.

    But I’m sure their double-digit attended nutfest really put the fear of god into them.

    “No gods, no masters”.

  7. Brownian, OM says

    And father, we repent that we have not used godly wisdom when we have elected officials into elected positions in our state and nation, father, and that it has opened the door, that Minnesota holds the responsibility for placing the first Muslim in Congress, and Father, for that we repent.

    “I can’t believe they chose that nerd as Homecoming King instead of the senior football quarterback. This school used to totally kick ass. Now it totally sucks!”

  8. Carlie says

    And will she even say hi to him in the hallway when the House is in session? And if she does, will he respond with a cheery “Praise be to Allah” just to see her squirm? (Please?)

  9. Stardrake says

    Sili @7:

    Of course. Remember, Christianity is nothing if original (sic). Everything in it is stolen, and whenever they see something cool that someone else has, they must take it over for themselves! (Just wait until someone comes up with Christian lyrics for “The Internationale”….

  10. Mattir says

    Perhaps one could make donations to Americans United for Separation of Church and State or FFRF in honor of Michelle Bachmann as a means of atonement.

    Seriously, Pharyngula has turned into one big justification for misanthropy, not that I really needed much justification.

  11. Capital Dan says

    And will she even say hi to him in the hallway when the House is in session? And if she does, will he respond with a cheery “Praise be to Allah” just to see her squirm? (Please?)

    LOL! That would be something to see. Clearly, there’s no way of pulling this woman back from the brink of insanity; so the next best thing would be to shove her over the edge.

  12. awmcmillan says

    that Minnesota holds the responsibility for placing the first Muslim in Congress, and Father, for that we repent.

    While I’m not surprised Bachman fell this way, I am a little surprised she was that open about it. She deserves to be called out for being a bigot for saying something like that. Can you imagine the outrage if someone in congress had said a similiar thing about a different religion (though an atheist would be fair game too of course)

  13. iDodd says

    A Muslim? Oh my gosh! What kind of hissy is she gonna have when she finds out my daughter, a Unitarian and atheist no less, is moving to Minnesota in September to attend college!

  14. daveau says

    But…but…but…Isn’t the loon your state bird?

    That would be the Common Loon. These loons are special.

  15. Draken says

    This event is not to impress the media or those in Washington, but to reach the heart of God.

    [Insert picture of Pinocchio with very long nose here]

  16. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    You know, I did a back-of-the-envelope calculation of the vacuum pressure inside Bachman’s head, and in order to withstand it, her skull must have the frigging tensile strength of diamond.

  17. Draken says

    Oh, by the way, they have a poll:

    How do you rate the spiritual condition of our nation?

    We really need to wake up – 75.6%
    Great – 13.5%
    Indifferent – 4%
    Room for improvement – 3.5%
    Never better – 3.4%

    I don’t know about you, but I feel great, never mind it’s raining and 6 degrees centigrade in May.

  18. Robert H says

    Oddly, I agree with the poll: we really do need to wake up! The sole disagreement would be what constitutes being awake.

  19. Cliff Hendroval says

    It should be noted that it wasn’t Michelle Bachmann who made the remark about Keith Ellison, but just some everyday nutjob from Minnesota.

  20. MrFire says

    Check out the woman from about 1:02 to 1:30, who delivers a doth-protest-too-much objection to pornography that is simultaneously constipated and near-orgasmic.

  21. awmcmillan says

    @ #21 Thanks for clarifying that – that’s what I get for reading this too quickly when I just woke up.

  22. ambulocetacean says

    What percentage of these idiots, do you think, even realise that Muslims worship the same god as them? Not that Christians have ever had much problem hating their co-religionists, but still…

    Christians who like to prattle on about the “great Judeo-Christian tradition” should be informed that they are in fact part of the great Judeo-Christian-Islamic tradition.

  23. IslandBrewer says

    Oh, where to begin?

    First, the guy at the beginning has a problem with the Runaways and is pissy that there isn’t more christian rock? Well, he can’t do anything to make the Runaways less awesome, but perhaps if he made christian rock not SUCK so badly … well, then it probably wouldn’t be christian anymore.

    And the constipated lady who was all upset about the porn that LA produces? Where has she been? I’ll put up San Francisco porn against her LA tired old LA porn any day! Bring it!

    And the lady who said that she had a meeting scheduled with god, I’d really like it if she could send me an Outlook invitation, because I have some issues I’d like to bring up. I’ll send her a Powerpoint.

    And finally, IS THAT AN ISRAELI FLAG UP THERE AT THE SAME LEVEL AS AN AMERICAN FLAG?!?!?!?!

    Holy crap! This is America! Pull that thing down! Why do these people hate America so much that they elevate other foreign cloth symbols to the same elevation as OUR sacred cloth symbol?

    I am becoming righteously indignant. There, now it has happened.

  24. Abdul Alhazred says

    The “same” God?

    Only if He really exists.

    Otherwise — Different figments of different imaginations.

  25. ambulocetacean says

    Sorry, Abdul. I should have said “the same imaginary god”. Say hi to H.P. for me.

  26. ambulocetacean says

    Abdul #26. Oh yeah, I see what you’re saying about different figments. But then everybody’s god is different. Nice, friendly easy-going Christians and Muslims are more like each other than they are like the lunatic fundies of their own faiths.

  27. legistech says

    Actually, you could say each individual Xian is worshipping a different deity, they just all think they’re worshipping the same one.

    I voted as “indifferent” to the spirituality of the nation in the poll.

  28. 12xuser says

    What cracks me up is how all of these yahoos are “repenting” the sins of someone else. They must be without sin themselves.

  29. Ewan R says

    What percentage of these idiots, do you think, even realise that Muslims worship the same god as them? Not that Christians have ever had much problem hating their co-religionists, but still…

    At my previous job I went to a Muslim wedding reception along with a couple of ridiculously Christian co-workers. The look of abject confusion on their faces as the list of prophets was reeled off is something that I shall cherish for a very long time.

  30. broboxley OT says

    well PZ you should be glad to have nutjobs like the lady in the article as well as Bachmann otherwise you would be insufferable condecending bunch and radio boy wouldnt be half as funny

  31. MrFire says

    well PZ you should be glad to have nutjobs like the lady in the article as well as Bachmann otherwise you would be insufferable condecending bunch and radio boy wouldnt be half as funny

    For God’s sake, broboxley: if you’re going to trash talk, could you please do so intelligibly!

  32. MomSaysImCool says

    Yeah, and lets get all those grubby JEWS out of office, too! Right, Michelle?

  33. Robert H says

    They must be without sin themselves.

    Washed in the blood of the Lamb, 12xuser, though that doesn’t sound very kosher…

  34. Kevin says

    I actually was there during their big prayer-off with my (Christian) sister and her (Christian) friends.

    They were completely uncomfortable with the prayer circle, and we’re not talking about Easter/Christmas Christians here, either. My sister is on the worship team, and she goes to church every chance she can.

  35. naddyfive says

    Watching fully grown people glare into empty-ish sky and address nothing as “father” is really disturbing to me. I can’t be the only one who sees this…the ickyness of it…the extreme weirdness of human beings, who could easily communicate with one another and try to work through issues, addressing nothing and apologizing to it for the countless imaginary wrongs of others.

    A million leather daddies putting their heads together couldn’t come up with anything more ‘perverse’ than this. It really does strike me as kinkier than a million and one stilleto-on-gerbil snuff films combined. Especially that panting anti-porn lady. Wtf?

    I prefer my kink to be directed at people and real objects, I guess.

  36. isaac says

    What percentage of these idiots, do you think, even realise that Muslims worship the same god as them?

    It’s kind of funny in a way: Ellison and Bachmann represent districts that are geographically not that far apart but they may as well be on different planets.

    Keith represents a district with one of the highest, if not the highest, concentrations of black people in Minnesota. Michele represents a district with one of the highest, if not the highest, concentrations of inbred idiots, losers, mouthbreathers, racists, and knuckledraggers in Minnesota.

    During Keith’s time in the Minnesota House of Representatives, he established a glowing record of passionate compassion for the less fortunate members of Minnesota society–he cared about clothing and sheltering the needy and feeding the hungry.

    Somebody ought to start a religion that cares about stuff like that…wait…what’s that? Oh…never mind.

    Anyway, for one instance, the Minnesota House repubs at one point introduced a proposal to cut down on the number of meals served to inmates in Minnesota prisons, since most of them were “murderers, rapists, and child molesters.”

    Ellison stood and made an eloquent appeal (Keith is a very dynamic, forceful and charismatic speaker) to reason and humanity, on the grounds that among other things, it should be taken into consideration that the majority of inmates were there for low level drug offenses, were nonviolent, and disproportionately minorities, etc.

    Marty Seifert, a rep from another very conservative district and the most vocal supporter of the proposal, was forced to back down on other grounds: there were legally mandated daily caloric requirements for inmates.

    So rather than back down gracefully, Seifert weakly proposed that maybe we could “give them a big teaspoon of lard” every day instead.

    (This Seifert knobjob just recently lost his bid for governor in the MN GOP state convention.)

    By contrast, Bachmann spent her time in the Minnesota legislature trying to outlaw same sex marriage, one of her real big obsessions. She was made Assistant Minority Leader in charge of Policy for the Minnesota Senate Republican Caucus, where she was removed after about six months. She was too big a whackjob for even the Repubs. She’s also an opponent of public education–she once was part of an effort that barred school children from seeing “Aladdin” because it promoted paganism and endorsed withcraft when she was on the board of a charter school. She had plenty of other misadventures as well, and she loves her some George W Bush.

    From where I sit, it looks like the Muslim is the better Christian of the two.

  37. Kevin says

    @isaac:

    From where I sit, it looks like the Muslim is the better Christian of the two.

    Isn’t this how it always is, though? Christians, for the most part, seem to be a lot less Christian than non-Christians. The most hateful things I’ve heard in recent months have come out of the mouth of my Christian father, things like “gays only want to get married to destroy the church” and “I hope you’re reading that book [the God Delusion] to understand the enemy.”

  38. ambulocetacean says

    Kevin #43,

    Oh don’t worry. Non-Christians can be plenty unChristian too.

    At least your dad wouldn’t want to haul you before a religious court and have you stoned to death for apostasy, which is what he would do if he was real Taliban and not just the wussy Christian pretend Taliban :)

  39. browncoatmouse says

    I couldn’t get past “May day” without thinking of this:



    (VERY NSFW)

    So, I’m having trouble getting my indignation worked up…

  40. mattand08 says

    …Minnesota holds the responsibility for placing the first Muslim in Congress, and Father, for that we repent.

    Wow. Let me get this straight: a sitting Congresswoman is upset that a fellow Congressman got elected because she doesn’t like his religion, and is begging to God for forgiveness?

    Just…wow.

    Not that NJ is a panacea of perfect politicians, but I can’t think of any off the top of my head who is this openly hostile and prejudicial; fed, state, or local.

    Unfortunately, I’m sure someone will prove me wrong.

  41. Sastra says

    Kevin #43 wrote:

    Isn’t this how it always is, though? Christians, for the most part, seem to be a lot less Christian than non-Christians.

    I understand the point you’re making here, but you (and others) have just hit on one of my pet peeves: using the word “Christian” to mean “virtuous” or “good.” As in “my, that was very Christian of you.”

    Doing this grants religious people the entire morality argument: without Jesus, there is no reason to be good. Non-Christians all steal the idea of virtue from the Bible, from whence it sprung. Thus, when we do the right thing, we’re acting like we were Christians.

    And, presumably, when Christians do the wrong thing, they’re acting just like they were atheists.

    It’s definitely not what we want to imply, so I’m careful not to use the term that way. Sure, virtue, charity, kindness, and honesty are all supposed to be Christian traits — but they shouldn’t be treated as interchangeable with a particular faith. It’s the often well-intentioned but insidious religious version of “my, Lamarr, that was really white of you.”

    So stop it. Right now. All of you. That’s enough of that.

  42. cag says

    The commenters who ask whatever happened to ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ forget that christians are sinners and unworthy, so they see their neighbours (Canadian spelling) as being equally unworthy and vile. Personally, I do not want any part of that kind of love.

  43. isaac says

    So stop it. Right now. All of you. That’s enough of that.

    Nope. Sorry. Won’t be doing that. And not just because I don’t take orders.

    “Christian” has more connotations than your list includes. My very Christian mother always told me as a boy that the main meaning of the word applies to those who learned the lessons of Christ and strove to live up to the ideal.

    It should be obvious from my description of Keith Ellison’s actions–“compassion for the less fortunate,” “clothing and sheltering the needy,” “feeding the hungry,” etc.,–the ideals articulated by Jesus, that that was the reading intended.

    I am sorry that the term triggers such an emotional response in you, but being among other things a freethinker, I do not limit my vocabulary according to the preferences of others. Also, if I let others tell me how to talk and how to think, I may as well just go the easy route and join a religious cult or something.

    With or without your permission, I will continue using the word the way my mother taught it to me. And the way my mother taught me, it is the Muslim who is living up to Christian ideals.

    Have a nice evening.

  44. Tesla says

    So wait – were they celebrating Beltane, Samhain, or International Workers’ Day?

  45. Sastra says

    isaac #50 wrote:

    “Christian” has more connotations than your list includes. My very Christian mother always told me as a boy that the main meaning of the word applies to those who learned the lessons of Christ and strove to live up to the ideal.

    Yes; but such ideals are not exclusive to Christianity, and I don’t think they should then be used to define it. What distinguishes Christianity from other religions and life philosophies is not compassion for the less fortunate — it’s belief in a particular theological doctrine.

    If Christianity was not the majority religion, and was not so often intent on claiming all virtue for itself, perhaps this little colloquial expression wouldn’t be so bothersome. But, under the circumstances, I think using it is a mistake.

    With or without your permission, I will continue using the word the way my mother taught it to me.

    Oh, well then.

    Have a nice evening.

    You too. And your mother taught you very nice manners.

  46. Kirk says

    Isn’t Minnesota the same state that elected Hubert Humphrey?

    I grew up just south of Minnesota, and always thought of Minnesotans as educated, socially liberal people who cared for the greater good. Went to church, yes, but just because that’s what you did, and had coffee, and chatted (or looked at your shoes while others chatted) after church.

    This whole Bachman thing, I don’t get it. And the wacko praying for forgiveness about electing a Muslim, that I get even less.

    Did the state change a lot in the last 30 years?

  47. isaac says

    Sastra, although I have only really started posting recently, I have followed this blog and the commenters for several years.

    During that time, reading your comments, I’ve come to respect you as much as anyone here. That hasn’t changed and I don’t see it ever changing. I’m sorry that our first interaction didn’t go more smoothly, but I’m afraid we are going to have to agree to disagree here.

    Please be aware that I am aware that the qualities I mentioned are not exclusive to Christianity; my judgment of those failing to live up to that standard only applies to those who profess to follow that particular man’s teachings.

    Thank you for the comment about my manners. As I said, I have always had respect for you. If I continue posting here, you will always get respectful treatment from me.

  48. Carlie says

    Using “Christian” to mean “good” is about the same as using “white” the same way. (“That’s mighty white of you.”) Sure, the person saying it means to be complimentary, but they’re just… not.

  49. R. Schauer says

    I blame all this shit on former Minnesota governor Al Quie. A religious fucktard and delusional superstition worshiper…he and his little group over at: http://www.edwatch.org/
    that was partly run by his wife…took sleeping Minnesota on a right turn and we’ve simply never recovered and gotten back on track.

  50. chicagomolly.myopenid.com says

    …a small mob of prayerful crazies listening to people at the microphone beg God to force Hollywood to make more movies like Gibson’s Passion, …

    Why waste money on more movies like that? If I were in the mood for a three-hour flogging scene I could go to a play-party and participate in one. WAAAAAAAAY more fun!

  51. BrianX says

    Carlie:

    I have to honestly say that I’ve never heard “mighty white of you” used in any manner except sarcastic. I’ve always interpreted it as “gee, aren’t we the privileged little shithead?”

  52. Carlie says

    BrianX – it’s taken on that connotation, but is a satirical use of a phrase that was already in existence as a straight line.

  53. MarkMyWords says

    Unfortunately, tea bagging wingnuttery isn’t confined to the south. Just today the Ohio authorities approved an initiative submitted from the “People’s Constitution Coalition of Ohio” that may possibly be on the November ballot. This approval from the state only declares that the language for the amendment as submitted meets the legal requirements for same, and that this group can now collect signatures from voters in order to get this measure on the ballot.

    It’s way too similar to the wingnuttery recently adopted as the platform for the Maine Rethuglican Party, or Texas’.

    Here’s the link: http://www.sos.state.oh.us/sos/upload/ballotboard/2010/2010-05-13certLetterAG.pdf

  54. Qwerty says

    I watched about an hour of the Mayday video before giving up. For those without the stomach it was a load of antigay, antiporn, anti-choice, praise-the-lord, “we have to repent and do more”, etc., etc.

    The crowd for this was rather sparse but scary.