Priorities! » « A musical interlude

Florida is taking pride in what they’re good at

I guess that’s good, to put a positive spin on what you have a demonstrable skill in doing, even if it is something most of us would be embarrassed by. There’s a company putting on what they call Florida Man games, a series of competitions where Floridians can show off their unique talents.

For instance, there’s an “EVADING ARREST OBSTACLE COURSE” where

Floridians are chased by police after stealing copper pipes and catalytic converters. Find the frozen iguana and chuck a gator through a drive thru window to earn a victory, and your freedom.

Very good. These are all useful skill to have when living in a crumbling dystopian swamp that is slowly sinking beneath the sea. Sure. Polish Florida’s reputation while you’re at it.

Priorities! » « A musical interlude

Comments

  2. Larry says

    I’m looking forward to the Hide the Cocaine from the Cops event in both the Doublewide Mobile Home and the Highway Highspeed Car Chase venues.

  3. Larry says

    I’m looking forward to the Hide the Cocaine from the Cops event in both the Doublewide Mobile Home and the Highway Highspeed Car Chase venues.

  7. birgerjohansson says

    They forgot including a population of lethal invasive giant snakes in the Florida games.

  9. Tethys says

    Florida has quite a few native species of lethal wildlife, in addition to the invasive snakes and lionfish that thrive in the tropical climate zone.

    I suggest an event that involves a swim with the alligators, crocodiles, and water moccasins. A 5k through the palmettos, followed by stealing a bike for the high speed chase portion of the Florida triathlon.

  10. Reginald Selkirk says

    @8 Walter Solomon

    birgerjohansson #7

    Illegal immigrants aren’t welcomed.

    The “frozen iguanas” are also not native.

  11. birgerjohansson says

    Tethys # 9
    Just throw in a breeding population of pirhanas, the Florida inhabitants aren’t going to notice them among all the other lethal stuff.
    Q: Do pirhanas eat small alligators? Can they metabolise cocaine?

  12. birgerjohansson says

    Taste contest: Spot the barrel of hooch that has been diluted with methanol.
    There will be a school book burning event as well.

  13. Bekenstein Bound says

    Just throw in a breeding population of pirhanas, the Florida inhabitants aren’t going to notice them among all the other lethal stuff.

    What are they trying to do, anyway, turn the state into Australia North?

  14. StevoR says

    @ ^ Bekenstein Bound : No pirana’s here!

    Not even in the NT.

    Plentyof crocodiles, bullsharks, Greta white sharks , other sharks, lits of deadly snakes and other critters but no piranas.

    @11. birgerjohansson : “Do pirhanas eat small alligators? Can they metabolise cocaine?””

    Well, the Caimans they have in SouthAmercia will prey onpiranas

    So, will Alligators eat Piranhas? In short, yes they will but the Alligators in the Amazon basin are not true Alligators, but the black caimans. … (Snip).. The black caimans hunt turtles, birds, deer, and fish including all species of Piranha. … (Snip).. The famous Red-Bellied Piranha will swim in schools as a pack, so as to form a defense against attack from predators. If one fish spots the prey, the others are quick to follow.

    Source : https://piranhaguide.com/will-alligators-eat-piranhas/

    OTOH,

    Moreover, the feeding habits and diet of piranhas further debunk the myth of them preying on alligators. Piranhas are primarily scavengers and opportunistic feeders. While they do have a carnivorous diet and can feast on smaller prey such as fish, crustaceans, and small mammals, they are not equipped to take down large and powerful predators like alligators.

    In fact, piranhas are more likely to exhibit a defensive behavior towards larger creatures. When threatened, they may form tightly packed schools and bite chunks of flesh from their perceived threat in an attempt to deter predators. This defensive strategy is not aimed at consuming the threat but rather protecting themselves and their territory.

    Source : https://petshun.com/article/can-pirania-fish-eat-gators

    That source also notes that alligators (presumably Caiman here) also generally inhabit different habitats w pirans referring fast flwoing rivers vs alligators preferring swamps & slow moving ones.

    Can they metabolise cocaine?

    Couldmn’t find anything specific on Piranas metabolising cocaine but when it coems to ‘gators and meth I found this

    …many parts of the meth-gator story didn’t add up, according to Dr Robert A Thomas, director of Loyola University’s Center for Environmental Communication in New Orleans. For one thing, the amount of flushed methamphetamine would need to be staggering to affect the behaviour of an alligator given their size. Males can weigh as much as 1,000lb (540kg).There’s also the issue of the gator’s watery habitat which would dilute the potential impact of any drug.

    Source : https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-49039097

    The second point there would seem to apply to all species although larger ones more than smaller ones with that going triple for the first point.

    Oddly enough, it seems studies haven;’t been done in this area at least not that I can find with my google-fu. Could be an Ignobel Prize beckoning if someone wants to try it? .

  15. Hemidactylus says

    Piranhas have a bad reputation for no good reason. I recall a rumor they set up shop in Florida. If so why should I be scared? I’d be more concerned about the tiny candiru given their alleged particular set of skills, but that too seems more legend than reality. Would ruin your day if true. I’d rather a bunch of toothy pan fish make a meal of me than a swimming catheter from hell.

  16. microraptor says

    The funny thing is that the allegations about candiru’s habits appear to have been misinterpreted injuries caused by piranha attacks. In reality, candiru are sight-hunters that attack the gill slits of larger fish, they have no interest in urea and are physically incapable of forcing their way into a human urethra.

    And I suspect that invasive piranha would have trouble getting established in Florida due to the invasive snakeheads.

  17. Snarki, child of Loki says

    I guess I’ll have to visit my local bookstore, and tell them that they need to move Carl Hiassen’s books to the “non-fiction” section.

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