George Alan Rekers, the anti-gay gay minister, has actually come out and admitted what he and his lovely rent-boy were doing on tour.
If you talk with my travel assistant that the story called “Lucien,” you will find I spent a great deal of time sharing scientific information on the desirability of abandoning homosexual intercourse, and I shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ with him in great detail.
Now I’m worried. I just know I’m going to go into class to “share scientific information”, and all the knowing gays will be giggling and laughing and saying, “oh, he went there,” and I’ll be baffled about what the joke is.
At least there’s no risk that I’ll “share the Gospel of Jesus Christ.” I can only imagine how pornographic that is.
The poor man. With all that “luggage lifting” and “sharing scientific information” and “gospel swapping,” he must be totally “fagged out”.
Also, please note that Reker’s biographies at FRC and the European Leadership Forum are now missing.
If by abandoning he means, exploring.
I’ve found saving prostitutes from their evil ways very expensive. The rates they charge!
But I’m so dedicated to saving their souls that I will pay whatever it takes to save such women.
I hope that I will be commended for my good deeds.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p
“So, like Jesus never wore much beyond robes and some loose undergarments. He hung out with twelve other men, wandering from region to region, just like camping an’ stuff. Oh yeah, and back then people would ‘anoint’ each other with nice smelling oils. So, they did a lot of that. While camping.
Then one day, everybody decided they didn’t like Jesus or his pals, so they hung him on two crossed poles. Here, I’ll show you: if I take yours and cross it with mine, like so…”
Because there is all that scientific information.
OK, I guess if one thinks that creationism/ID puts out scientific info, he might think he has similar “science” regarding homosexual intercourse.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p
Does he honestly expect ANYBODY to buy that?
Insemination did evolve as a crucial means of communicating information, after all. (Bruce Sterling has dysphemized it as “transmitting the ancient message.”)
And the information content of DNA is all sciency and stuff, so I guess it’s arguably communicating scientific information.
Does sort of make me wonder if the rentboy just went along for the trip to Europe.
I’ve been told his “keep doing it until you can’t stand it anymore” method has been very successful in turning people off of homosexual intercourse. At least with him.
Oh my, my oral defense of my thesis just got even more euphemistastic.
Think about it, I’m orally defending my scientific findings and then sharing scientific findings with two men as they probe and question my scientific findings until they come to consensus about my qualifications.
I better bring protection.
I’m sure there were quite a few heartfelt shouts of “Oh, God!” during their sessions…together with sincere hopes for divine auditory failure.
Maybe he misspoke and meant to say that he was sharing his “genetic” information with the “assistant.”
“Oh my, my oral defense of my thesis just got even more euphemistastic.”
You can relax afterwards on the Appalachain Trail.
And by “sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ”, he means shouting “Oh God! OH GOD! OH GOD!” as part of a deeply, deeply religious experience.
The lack thereof informing Mr Reker’s decision to go the “if you can’t beat ’em, join, er, in (and preferably on expenses!)” route.
Not that I find this funny. Honest.
I have a love-hate relationship with this type of thread. Is there such a thing as too funny for work (tffw)?
Yeesh. Honestly, which is the more likely scenario–that he hired a male escort for pleasure, or that he unwittingly hired a male escort to carry his luggage, and then spent the trip lecturing said escort about the evils of homosexuality? I think it’s sad that he can’t even consider the possibility of accepting his sexuality for what it is. I know it can be scary to admit to being gay, but surely it’s healthier in the long run than repressing it at every turn, and making up ridiculous stories to try to hide it from everyone else.
There’s a big difference between desiring to abandoning homosexual intercourse and actually abandoning homosexual intercourse.
Be that as it may, I can think of one scientific program employed in his quest to smite the gay dragon from his traveling companion:
10 F=m*a
20 go to 10
Is there even one, single conservative anti-gay
bigotadvisor/pundit out there who doesn’t smoke hot man pole the second he gets the opportunity?I am seriously disappointed, I want more from my anti-gay
bigotspundits. After all, this Route One “Hate What You Are” schtick is really old. Can just one of them, just one, please get through the decade without some hot man on man action? Please. Just try harder anti-gaybigotpundits. After all, how hard can it be to constantly talk day after day, hour after hour, about the evils of enjoying bouncing up and down on a throbbing chopper? Surely one can obsess endlessly about the wickedness of lewd acts with other chaps and not be tempted by even a little morsel of forbidden fruit?What worries me is that clearly we sad, deluded little hetero breeders might be missing out on something. After all, it must be called “gay” for a reason. If that nice Ted Haggard can’t stay off the cock, then what hope is there for the rest of us…OH.MY.GHOD! I’ve just realised! It’s really true. If we don’t persecute all homosexuals all the time then we’ll discover it’s more addictive than chocolate covered bacon lesbian crack (the most addicitve thing EVAR) and we will all become “Of The Gay”. Won’t someone please think of the children? They’ll be making jokes about it next.
Louis
P.S. Hmmmm I think I struck the wrong word out…
P.P.S. This:
Made me piss myself laughing. “If you’d just like to bend over young man we can begin lesson number 24 on precisely what you shouldn’t be doing. After that we’ll go over lessons 5 to 13 again. This time with a mint and some ice cubes in your mouth.”
P.P.P.S. Brief serious comment: I’m with Stephen Fry on this issue, what anti gay bigots really can’t stand is not the fact that people play hide the sausage/scissor sister acts with each other. It’s not Eros that scares them. It’s Philos. The genuine, passionate love between people of the same sex seems to terrify them. Getting to rant about “sexual deviants” is just a bonus.
Did they get into any transubstantiation…?
He’s just following in the footsteps of other famous closeted ministers all the way back to that traveling salesman, Saul of Tarsus.
Let’s start a pool. Who’s next?
1) Tony Perkins, Family Research Council
2) Lou Engle, The Call
3) Brian Brown, National Organization for Marriage
4) Fred Phelps, Westboro Baptist Church
Add your own! Go for maximum Schadenfreude value!
Oh, this reminds me of the Jon Stewart joke about Ted Haggard when he was “cured” of his homosexual urges.
“Remember when your Dad caught you smoking a cigarette? And then to make sure you never did it again, he’d take you out back and make you smoke a whole carton of cigarettes until you puked?”
Rev BigDumbChimp #2
Maybe he meant definition 4: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/abandon
@JamesF
Fred Phelps. No doubt about it.
Ah – I’ll bet he was just showing the young man his great knowledge of The Secret Gospel of Mark.
I’m with Louis on this one.
Its no longer even interesting!
Ho hum, another day, another bigot on a dick.
Bigot on a dick. Bigot on a Stick!
Mmmm..carnival food.
Also, Louis, the term ‘throbbing chopper’ just cured my homosexuality. Thanks. :(
KJ
Well, you got to save people one soul at a time. After all Jesus was nailed to the cross one hard, long, thick nail at a time. Those muscular roman soldiers held him down under their weight. They just kept hammering and hammering their rigid spikes into the soft flesh of Jesus. One soldier, two soldiers even three soldiers at a time. Jesus said stop, but his eyes said go. It was after all just a part of his plan. Eventually, Jesus screamed “Oh my God,” and the temple curtain torn. The heaven opened. It would be three days before Jesus could resurrect himself again…..
“…tthe desirability of homosexual intercourse with abandon…”
Following Ted Haggard and his male escort’s lead
I wonder if that Gospel came in a little bindle and he shared it with a straw?
For a group of uptight people who have such a thing for other people having sex, they sure can coin a euphemism.
um okay. So if Reckers really was hiring him to assist him with luggage and than evangelize him, why did he chose a 130 pound twink rather than a beefy bear who could probably lift more luggage?
@ Killjoy #27,
I am sorry to have cured your homosexuality, that was never my intent. Please report to your local Rainbow Centre For Teh Gay and ask for immediate regayification.
As for JamesF’s question in #22, I will also bet on Fred Phelps. That man is definitely gay. Have you seen the placards his family produce? Now THERE is a rainbow of colours. The lady doth protest too much methinks.
Louis
Holytape…does this mean that the Gospel isn’t merely a zombie story, but a gay zombie porn story?
Damn…I don’t think there’s brain bleach strong enough…though it would explain even more about the Church….
Cheers,
b&
—
EAC Memographer
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
“All but God can prove this sentence true.”
I would imagine teabagging comes into this as well.
Hubble has done so much to share scientific information
Who knew it was so inspiring?
Check also Luggage at Urban dictionary:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=luggage
… desirability of
abandoninghomosexual intercourse …There, fixed that for him.
As obvious as this one is, I’m betting against it. Fred Phelps will not be outed until he’s dead and one of his estranged children writes the unauthorized biography. He’s got way too much invested in his bigotry as a source of income.
um okay. So if Reckers really was hiring him to assist him with luggage and than evangelize him, why did he chose a 130 pound twink rather than a beefy bear who could probably lift more luggage?
Exactly. Nothing in the story makes sense. In addition to choosing a skinny twink to “carry luggage” Rekers first had to join rentboy.com and agree to the terms and conditions of service. There’s no chance in hell he didn’t know he was hiring an escort.
And it looks like he was such a help:
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2010/05/rekers-geo-in-flagrante-delicious.html
@ #32
Maybe its very SMALL ‘luggage’? XD
Bad KillJoy. No making fun of the bigot’s genitalia.
KJ
Phelps is so repressed that I bet he has a hair shirt and set of whips for self-flagellation in his closet. I don’t think he’ll be sneaking around for gay sex…he’d feel compelled to destroy himself afterwards.
Lou Engle, though…that’s where I’d put my money.
About Phelps. A couple of years ago a tag-team of radio shock-jocks got him live on-air for an interview. After a couple of moments of the usual bigoted folderol, one of the hosts made this point to Rev. Phelps:
Host: Reverend Phelps, studies have demonstrated that people who have the greatest antipathy towards gays are more likely to be gay than people who aren’t hostile. Does that apply to you?
Phelps: (click)
Ah, denial . . .
I presume that this scientific information and research that he’s been conducting will be published. The “Answers” journal of AnswersInGenesis would be an excellent publication to choose. The only downside might be that he might have actually oonducted some experiments rather than relying on faith to arrive at the answers.
I suppose it’s possible that he looked for someone young enough to cure so that the evil gay hadn’t infected him beyond repair. Showed him the xian artworks around europe to see how “perfect” things could be without the gay.
Of course it’s also possible that Michael Jackson didn’t like to play with young boys, OJ Simpson didn’t kill anyone, BP acted responsibly with emergency plans in place while building that oil rig, Charles Manson was really just a misunderstood nice guy, Ted Haggard isn’t a hypocrite, and there is a heaven (that Robertson and Falwell will get in).
James F
I have to be against #4 too. I think he would sooner kiss a shotgun than admit to anything like that.
HA! I’d just like to point out that I was correct! He was trying to cure him… yeah, I don’t buy it either, but I knew that would be the excuse! =D Wow, he must think we are all as stupid as him (and I guess his thinks his followers are as well…)
Is that why he specifically asked for “uncut” and “large”? XD
Yes Killjoy, our Care Bare overlords wish to speak with you.
I think we should basically assume that every virulent anti-gay activist is anti gay, untill they proof it with a scientific test by having their erection measured while watching heteronormative and gay porn…
Rekers said:
It probably went something like this:
My dear Lucien, don’t you know what bad things can happen when you practice homosexual activity? Let me demonstrate. (errph, umpph, uhh, uhh) Lucien, see, isn’t that bad? Please, tell me how bad that is! Oh, I just thought of something else even worse! Roll over. (oooph, mmmmph) Oh, Lucien, this is terrible!
abandon
inged homosexual intercourse – George Alan RekersFixed for him.
@ #35
I thought the same, tea bagging seems likely.
Right-wing xians seem to be a lot kinkier than I imagined.
From my quote file:
Looks like there might be a lot of funny stuff going on with the fundamentalist crowd and how they’re thinking about religion.
@40 woopsie. There goes that excuse.
Wonder what the rentboy himself has to say about all of this? After all, all of Tiger Woods’ “mistresses” (cough-skanks-cough) were more than willing to share their experiences. Even Eliot Spitzer’s hooker girlfriend made the rounds.
When is the rentboy going on Larry King? Inquiring minds want to know!!!!
Humm, I bet he would if he could sue someone and make money off of it.
Pretty sure he means “exploring with wanton abandon”
Can we just get over ourselves now and admit every single one of these flaming anti-gay religiofuckwads is just repressed, closeted and in self-denial and put them all in therapy for their own good (as well as for everyone else’s).
Iono. I never bother reading T&C. I just click “accept” and “submit” as required.
You really think that Phelps is into selfflagellation &c? I honestly thought he only cared about making others miserable.
What a strange world we live in…
The Gospel of Jesus Christ is just code for a kinky type of dildo (sort of NSFW).
Quelle simple !
>>abandoning homosexual intercourse
He’s into French (oral) not Greek (anal)
>>I shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ with him in great detail
Screams passages from the good book while doing the dirty deed.
Sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ? Man, and here I thought autoerotic asphyxiation was kinky.
Is it worth pointing out that homosexuality and pedophilia aren’t related? That the proposed relationship between them is one of the bizarre anti-scientific arguments of the anti-gay crowd?
@61 apparently not. I got confused about which story I was talking about. Ignore that last bit.
*sigh*
Come on, don’t tell me that nobody here hasn’t taken a gay prostitute overseas to lift luggage and listen to sermons on the evils of homosexuality. After all, what are rent boys for?
Who knew Smoggy Batzrubble was such a close approximation of George Rekers?
I’m sharing scientific information right now, although I haven’t assumed anyone’s position yet.
Oh man, please please please let Roy Zimmerman be paying attention to this story!
I shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ with him in great detail.
Considering that the Jesus character was most likely gay, this does not seem to help his case very much.
I must say that he may have honestly hoped to turn Lucien straight. I mean, having to see that naked would certainly make me question my sexuality.
Go to Urban Dictionary and vote to install “Whatever lifts your luggage” as an officially unofficial synonym for “whatever floats your boat”
—————————————————
George Rekers Lifts His Own Luggage photo
—————————————————
If Reker’s story were true (heh!) I’d pity the rentboy. I don’t think being preached to by a hateful bigot is covered by his usual rates.
I’d be willing to bet the “really kinky shit” has a different price structure, for which this most certainly qualifies.
Has anyone else noticed that after returning from his 10 day European vacation April 13, Pastor Reker is now in Barbados… on vacation?
(Did he need anyone to lift his luggage on this trip?)
Sharing information like Kang and Kodos of The Simpsons?
I’m betting he spent the time guiding his flock to his staff and rod.
All this reminds me of this Onion story:
Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?
Are there Rent-Girls too? Or is this only a service for teh gay types?
Because – I hate having to carry my own luggage.
but these preacher types make enough money to pay for airport sherpa/boytoys? I so need to get rid of my conscience.
Maybe the Rekers guy has just gotten in on the homoeopathy bandwagon and is trying like-cures-like….you know, doing the guy to stop him doing others!
Tony “I’m Next” Perkins and the FRC have disavowed Rekers.
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/05/frc_on_co-founders_escort_scandal_bible_teaches_th.php?ref=fpi
Motherfucker is on his own. Let’s hope his career continues this downward spiral and that the hate groups he helped found follow him down the drain.
I haven’t laughed that hard in months. You, kind sir, have made my night.
Perhaps that’s like Jamie Lee Curtis’ character in A Fish Called Wanda. She got off on foreign languages as I recall. Perhaps Greek/Aramaeic did it for Lucien/Geo.
Colbert declared Rekers his “Alpha Dog of the Week”.
Hilarious!
Look, Rev. Rekers, we don’t care if you’re gay, we just want you to be honest about it.
It’s okay if you like having your luggage lifted by hot young men.
Stephen Colbert just named Rekers his “Alpha Dog” of the day, with a, shall we say, rousing number of double entendres.
I find it telling that the pornograph is the first link when you search Urban Dictionary for “scientific information”…
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=scientific+information
I’ve taken tomorrow off, and if PZ has no objection, I’ll parasitise the Endless Thread to live-blog the UK election tonight (though I’ll probably give up and go to bed if it becomes clear early on the Tories are going to get a clear majority). The polls suggest they won’t, but I have a horrible feeling they will: people are, quite naturally, often too ashamed to admit to pollsters they intend to vote Tory!
Sorry – wrong thread! I’ll repost on the ET.
The rent boy is set to spill the beans at blog.unzipped.net (NSFW), where they were able to obtain an interview from him.
Us gay boys have known for quite some time now that NARTH is a sham and everyone involved with straightening out gays are closeted.
I know because Jesus told me.
I bet they shared lots of Scripture. Especially Matthew 26:26, 2 Samuel 1:26 and Psalm 23:4
For those who don’t want to dig out their King James the verses are…
“Take, eat, for this is my flesh”
“Your love was very pleasant surpassing the love of women”
and of course
“They rod and thy staff they comfort me”
Ah, Colbert is awesome.
WBWJR?
What Boy Would Jesus Rent?
It has been confirmed by the Miami New Times who scooped Unzipped.net on the interview!
…
Goddamnit Aratina,
You beat me to it.
Sorry Gyeong Hwa Pak. ;) To make it up to you (via a comment at Joe.My.God): The Big Gay Sketch Show (“Naldo services customers at the airport”).
I’m just blown away by this story. The H8ers are hanging him out to dry, the University of South Carolina has now scrubbed him from their website, and he may be a resident of Florida where it is illegal for gays to adopt children, so maybe he’ll be prosecuted under the very law he helped bring about to terrorize gay families.
For shame, for shame. George Rekers is now squealing like a stuck pig.
Yeah sure, Rekers. Straight men always go to rentboy.com to hire baggage handlers.
Ahem – that’s travel assistant.
Update:
The Miami New Times listened in on a call from Rekers to the rent boy, “Lucien”, wherein Rekers demanded that Lucien not tell the press what they did on the trip. Then there came this:
Must be lots of skeletons in Rekers’ closet. In addition to all the damage he has done to gay families throughout the world, how many young gay men has this ogre intimately used and abused?
Joe.My.God also reports that Jo-Vanni (Lucien’s real name) is an “ardent atheist”:
But of course we all know that Rekers has such upstanding Christian morals! Jesus just about raptures every time a Christian lies for Him, especially if it is a bigoted lie directed at gays.