If you’re considering a pet, you have to weigh the pros and cons.

Wow, when they’re all laid out like that, you just have to choose the squid.

Now wait — maybe you’ve got some brain-damaged children running around who chose poorly, or you flipped a coin and are now stuck with the decision to get puppies. Don’t despair! Get both! In fact, get lots of puppies — they make excellent squid chow, and they’re also useful fresh stock to have around in case peckish atheists come to visit.