It’s hard to beat the spectacle of Dinesh D’Souza defending a god for absurdity, but the Twin Cities Creation Science Association will leaven their idiocy with pathos: it will be time for the Twin Cities Creation Science Fair on 14-15 February. I’ve got at least one person promising to send me a report on it, although this is one I won’t be able to attend…I’m arranging a trip to speak in Columbus, Ohio that weekend. And as we all know, there are no creationists in Ohio. Right?
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
From their site:
Randomly Selected Pictures Have Been Removed Because Some Sick Atheist Used Them To Demean Kids — Even Those Who Disagree With Creation Ought To Be Disgusted With Those Tactics!
Now that wouldn’t be any posters here would it?
Who demeans kids more, those who point out mistakes or those who teach the kids to make them.
Looks like they’re throwing the toys(pictures) out of the pram.
The Home School Science Fair has a great tagline: “Unlike secular educators, we teach the scientific method!”
Nothing like a side-show of freaks for intellectuals to gape at.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/6mb592
I think I will pass this year.
I used to walk through the displays every year when I lived in that part of town. The first couple of times I thought it was entertaining and made for great people-watching. Now, I just think it is rather creepy and disturbing.
It is sad for the children. A high percentage of the fundamentalist parents I have met tend to be control types, whose children inevitably are either strain at the bit or are broken. Their homeschooling is usually something out of the 50s with little desks and hickory sticks. Their children usually want to escape to public school by junior high or high school, where they usually do fine. The parents no doubt love their children and take their stewardship responsibilities seriously, but are clueless. Their controlling tendencies, don’t allow them to trust their children with more responsibility as they get older. Perhaps that is why their standards are so low at these creation “science” fairs. They have to know, even the creation “scientists” wouldn’t try to get away with such simple and obvious errors. The children should have been spared this embarassment, as they now belatedly have.
Creationist Science Fair… isn’t that in the dictionary under “oxymoron”?
What’s ironic is that they have no tolerance for the control and constraint observed in science.
It’s easy to see why, though, as science undermines the “commands of god” that they wish to impose.
Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/6mb592
You are a coward. Christianity is a spent force – and they will never kill you for being critical.
Muslims however, will. Wake up.
This is what awaits you:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-864522917532871834
I attended public high school in Ohio and learned young earth creationism and evolution denial in biology class. I’d say my state is pretty…
DOOMED
#8:
Awwwww, does someone have a little case of fatwah envy? That’s so cute!
@8: Aww… Barry’s got a little jihad envy. (Also penis envy?) Religious fascists of the world unite!
Barry @8,
go piss your knickers someplace else. You’ll doubtless be happier at Hot Air or Stormfront or VDare or Gates of Vienna.
No. 2
Yeah, and here’s their version of the scientific method:
They repeatedly mention the possibility of “proving” one’s hypothesis. I’m not a scientist, but I was under the impression that science works by inductive reasoning, and that hypotheses are therefore never “proven.” The data either falsify the hypothesis or they support it, right?
You’d think they could at least get that part right, even if they don’t really follow it.
@10: It’s funny we had the same thought… Barry does sound like a kid whose jealous that his brother Muhammed got a pop-gun.
Barry. Have a trawl through the archives and find where PZ openly condemned the honour-killing of two muslim women.
While you’re at it, ask the judge of the Dover trial whether he recieved any death threats. For that matter, ask PZ how many he got during the cracker incident.
Haw! Haw! What a comedy that is going to be. I liked two of the workshops, Learn how stable the Ark was in high wind, and How to get energy from chicken droppings. I’d like to be a demonstrator for that. Take a scoop shovel full of chicken droppings and hurl them onto your nearest christian. Instant energy.
O.M.FSM!
An ark project would be cool if it demonstrated the obvious: that such a thing, as outlined in the xtian book of myths, could not possibly have existed.
The kid who did that would be cool indeed, although his/her project would probably be banned as soon as the goon squad caught on that the project was actually disproving magical thinking.
But this is a magnificent way for real scientists to demonstrate the true power of the scientific method! Just start with a hypothesis like “Some biological systems are so irreducibly complex that they must have been the product of an intelligent designer.” How hard could it be to DISPROVE that bone-headed anthropomorphism?
“They repeatedly mention the possibility of “proving” one’s hypothesis. I’m not a scientist, but I was under the impression that science works by inductive reasoning, and that hypotheses are therefore never “proven.” The data either falsify the hypothesis or they support it, right?”
#13, I hate to say it but this a common mistake in most, if not all, K-12 science classes.
The workshop on chicken droppings could have applications. After the creationists have turned the U.S. into a third world country, we’ll all be raising chickens for eggs and the occasional fricassee. Finding a use for droppings would help warm the chickens on a New England January night.
So you’re coming to my fair adopted city in February? To whom will you be speaking?
Good grief, some of the “Suggested topics” or ideas for projects are mind-boggling.
I especially liked:
83. Why do people believe in Evolution?
84. What events caused them to become evolutionists?
95. Are humans mammals? We thought they were made in God’s image and not related to animals.
97. Why did God make birds to fly?
And this is just bizarre, considering:
8. How much voltage or current can a human take before he is killed? Could do experiments on a plant. (well, that’s a relief)
And of course my favorite:
4. Statistical occurrence of giants, and midgets and dwarfs and giantism. Use Princess Flo, Goliath, and brothers.
Yes, they are actually going to ask, ‘if you think creationism is not possible, then how do you explain pygmies and dwarves??‘
Oh, wait, I have a new favorite science project idea:
72. What is God made of?
They’re going to do an experiment on this? I don’t get their mindset here.
That insane nonsense should last six days in keeping with their crazy belief of creation. Reminds me of a school for the retarded in New Hampshire I saw several years ago with a comment under the school name: “god is not finished with me yet”. And with the creation cretins crawling about it appears that they will never be finished either. And it took six days to create this slime when it took evolution millions of years.
While reading the list of projects all I could think of was “Why is there air?”
I particularly love this gem
“Five things to remember:
1. Know your material.
2. Be Confident.
3. Communicate well.
4. Be thorough.
5. Pray your exhibit will witness to non-Christian visitors.
”
See it aint scince- the last line says it all.
My favorite suggested topic.
36. Why is snow 6 sided?
Answer, because it worships the devil by making menage a tois.
Patricia, did you see the trebuchet made of popcicle sticks?
I’d be tempted to take judging score sheets from a real science fair and go fill them out for the kids, leaving one at each experiment.
Ohio=Creationist stronghold
Prayers in school?: yep
Disclaimers and pussyfooting around evolution?: yep
No one wins in Ohio, not even the crazies.
Twin Cities Creation Science Fair = Twin Cities Child Abuse Fair
More details on the Ohio trip please.
I’m in Cincinnati, so Columbus isn’t a bad drive.
On this issue, I’m as out there as Holbach about ridiculing their stupidity.
When I first started home schooling my son (secular), the fastest way to get a particular math book that actually is secular was through a fundie home schooler book store in town. The first time I walked into that store, I was like–Oh man! This is gonna be fun! So much crazy–so little time! And so we started digging through their science books, right off, just to see how crazy it could be.. Even I wasn’t prepared for how bad it was.
My personal favorite was how George Washington Carver didn’t come up with crop rotation on his own. Nope. God whispered the answer in his ear! I’d love to see the science experiment proving that one!
I kid you not, that was what passed for “science,” with these dolts. And that particular assertion was from one of the saner texts! The other books were sheer idiocy, start to finish. They deserve whatever ridicule gets heaped on them over their notions about science. And “notions” is being generous.
P.S. My son and I eventually got thrown out of the fundie store for pointing out howlers in various books and laughing too much. Or too loudly. Can’t remember which. Maybe they’ll have forgotten me by now and I can go back for some more laughter. I always wanted to check out their history section…!
PZ
If I can make it to your event in Columbus, would you sign my copy of Atlas Of Creation?
I’ll bring you a nice illustration in exchange for the shame. Maybe something with tentacles?
PZ, I have to step in here and defend my home state. Sure we have our share of crazies in Ohio, but who doesn’t. Some of the other comments make it sound like a creationist stronghold. Maybe some of the worse schools out in the middle of nowhere, but most schools in the 3 big C’s teach some solid good science.
What are you doing in Columbus, PZ? Is there anything planned for the admiring fans?
WOW.
I just have to comment on this as I was home schooled fundy style for 7th grade. And, when I was in 4th grade, I did my science project “Creation vs. Evolution.” It won at my public school! (Subsequently though, it didn’t even place at the county level.)
These people really have no idea, it’s just that simple. You have to remember, this particular delusion called biblical literalism grants with it a strong sense of certainty. (Therefore knowledge of science isn’t required – it’s all there in Genesis!)
Ooh, details on the Columbus trip please! Will you be on the OSU campus? (Please say yes! I’m a student there.)
Janine, I missed the trebuchet! Where?
72 – What is gawd made of? No kidding?! I’d better go look again. (Holbach could answer that. *smirk*)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
its not fair…PZ will be so close, yet without a working car…too far. Damn you PZ, you need to come out to the boonies of Ohio some day (if you do, be sure to wear a light vest to protect you from the baptists. The Pentecostals will try to drive satan out of you with magic, but the baptists prefer shotgun slugs).
Holbach could answer you, and is reply would be ‘spot on’ but, in the interest of keeping this a family oriented thread- we want fundies to read this. I will answer the the question:
What is God made of?
”
.”
That was easy.
Posted by: Patricia, OM | January 18, 2009
Janine, I missed the trebuchet! Where?
Photos from 2008. Third photo down. UNDER SIEGE!
The funny thing was some of the projects (past and suggested) were good ones for kids to do
Why do we have allergies?
What happens to garbage in a land fill?
Why does liquid water turn to a solid at 32 degrees F.?
(apart from the obvious error in not using Centigrade)
The problem is of course the answer has to ‘witness’ to non-believers, rather than set the kid on a course in science.
I would be particulaly impressed with any child who tackled this:
3. Make a computer model of the Flood currents.
Even if the bible was 100% accurate, how the hell is a 14 year old going to do something that has taken modern oceanographers decades using satillites and high power computers, when the thing he/she is modelling disappeared 4000 years ago.
Fail.
mothra @ 40
Sort of compelling me to be discreet and civil, but I like your reply just the same. As an analogy, I have little booklets that I have had for many years, and in presenting them to various religious and non-religious friends over the years, have elicited reactions from laughter to incense. On the cover it states: “What god has revealed to man”. When you open the pages, they are all blank!
Crackers?
Am I the only one who read the venue for the fair as the “Har Har” Mall? ;)
I’m pretty sure god is made of lentils and peyote.
This was hilarious:
http://www.tccsa.tc/fair/fair_guidelines.html
Every exhibit has to have a reference to scripture! I don’t even like seeing magazines in NSCA journal citations…
Creation Science Fair? That’s got to be an oxymoron.
They’ll prove creationism/intelligent design when they can trace human DNA in dust.
“then the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” (Genesis, but not Phil Collins)
Don’t be silly- JESUS is made of crackers.
What goes “Ouch, stop biting me”
Jesus on a sunday
Also the whole Eddie Izzard routine- God to Jesus “Eat this bread, it is my body- Canabilsm, you taught them canabalism?”
Photon @45
Too good…you made me spill my beer!
I offered the following back in 2007 as the title for a Creationist journal article; I think it would do just as well for a Creationist science fair.
“The Adamic-Noachian descent of man conclusively demonstrated by the existence of the Aka and Efe tribes of Africa, as well as by achondroplasia, pycnodysostosis, and growth hormone deficiency”
Another idea:
Do YOU have Faith?
Materials: A sheet of graph paper, a plexiglass case or inverted fish tank, and a rock. Place the rock on one corner of the graph paper, and mark the opposite corner with “Destination”. Place the case/tank over the graph paper.
Cite Matthew 17:20 : “for truly I say to you, If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you.”
Offer the challenge to people to move the stone to the destination, using only their faith, and record results.
Heh.
(I also thought of having beakers of bleach, ammonia, hydrochloric acid, etc, and quote Mark 16:18, but you know, I can see real legal issues arising from trying that one…)
Better would have been,
97. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Columbus? Finally something good here! I can’t wait. I’m not much of a drinker, but I’m definitely tagging along if a group goes out. So there!
Matthew 5:6. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
Conduct a poll after church to see how many people go out to brunch. Investigate which restaurants are the most popular. Graph the results.
Is that African or European?
I don’t know that?
/plunges into chasm
I particularly liked the description of the lady who saw some of these exhibits and “was convicted to start attending church and get right with God. ” Watch out for these displays people….they have law enforcement properties! and they need judges so “If you have no science background, you will be paired with someone who does and can still judge the quality of the work”. Ummm…is your companion going to direct science rays at you? And does it mean that YOU can still judge the work, or that despite your companion’s training, he or she can rise above it and judge some scientific stuff?
God did not help this person write this announcement.
Posted by: Last Hussar @ 42 “3. Make a computer model of the Flood currents.
Even if the bible was 100% accurate, how the hell is a 14 year old going to do something that has taken modern oceanographers decades using satillites and high power computers, when the thing he/she is modelling disappeared 4000 years ago.”
Grand Canyon and fossil beds.
*facepalm*
*using best shatner impression* Too. Much. Fail.
As pointed out in comment #48, a reference to scripture is required.
Now, what scripture reference(s) would be used for this suggested topic?
(Note: I may have little to negative knowledge as to what is really written in the scriptures.)
How do you know so much about swallows?
Their web page certainly wasn’t intelligently designed, I can tell that much.
Cool, it’s at a public place. I can go heckle.
I love how they have to put “secular site” warnings at the bottom.
I believe there is a display solely on trebuchet construction in the 2006 photos…
The TCCSA site has a link to this other Minnesotan organization: Creation Science Academy. It’s basically one guy, John Nuckols, who teaches to homeschoolers (at $170 for a half day of classes, plus materials).
From their store, here’s the table of contents for his $25 photocopied “textbook” Creation Science Studies (Series 5):
There’s a PDF sample of the chapter on rockets, which starts out with the scripture passage “By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also.” I’m no Bible scholar, but I don’t think that refers to using rockets to put people in space.
Besides that, the only creationism he could extract from rocketry was some gee-golly-ain’t-the-universe-mysterious religious quote from Wernher von Braun. Can’t have a proper course in creationism without pointless quotes.
@ Halbach, The pamphlet sounds great! You could start a series: What God has done for us, Evidence for God, Proof of Intelligent Design, The wisdom of God, True Bible stories, etc.
Posted by: Last Hussar | January 18, 2009
Don’t be silly- JESUS is made of crackers.
Oh goody. I am going to start calling a box of crackers, Jesus Pieces!
that took me 3 reads to get! awesomeness. you get one Order of the Tentacle Medal
Toast, Crackers, Pancakes, Tortillas . . . what’s the whole bread fixation thing ?
Funny, I always thought the greatest biblical science experiment would be to repeat the experiment as reported in Genesis 30:37-39 as a means to produce ringstraked, speckled, and spotted cattle and flocks. The Bible did not provide what the speckled, spotted, and ringstraked distributions and standard deviations were, so it would be a good for the creationist students to come up with this data.
Of course the other experiment would be to stand in a dark room and get God to say “Let there be light.” to collect data relevant to that first day of creation. But I understand God is busy on vacation these days, so it might be hard to get his help.
Maybe you could have a bible on display with a sign that says ” all truth is within this book”. You can then destroy all the other displays as superfluous.
PZ! Hey will you post up when and where you’ll be in Columbus Ohio? I’d love to come hear you speak! Thanks!
Anyone notice the suggested topic about racism?
65. What affects skin color? Is one color better than another? What was God’s purpose in this?
Is one color better than another? Really? I can imagine that one color is better than another in an evolutionary sense. But if one assumes that all people were created with their current colors about 6000 years ago, what could this question possibly mean, besides the obvious?
Well, you have to know these things when you’re a king, you know.
So what’s the event in Columbus??? I’m clearing my schedule now! Gotta start looking for good beer for PZ now.
I love all the blurb on the “scientific method” then first up in the hints from judges:
“General hint: please include your Bible verse on the poster, not just in your report”.
I had to go back and check my science manual for that one.
Great, PZ chooses to come to C-Bus after I leave Ohio State. Next you’ll visit Austin, TX after I graduate law school and move away…
Their site says they ‘teach the scientific method’ with next to this phrase their logo quoting the Bible… If they weren’t so serious they would be very funny! :-)
The kids don’t seem to be cooperating at all.
I scrolled through a wholebunchof those pictures and there are no Arks, or bible quotes or anything but just plain old science projects.
@76
you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Ooh! Dibs on the “emissions like that of horses” one! No, wait – I really don’t want to see the science project that ties into that verse…
Good one LiquidThinker,
Another suggestion: Measure the circumference and diameter of a circle, and see if it =3.
Spiffy #35. Don’t feel too bad about Ohio. I live in Ky and we undoubtedly trump any creationist leanings that Ohio may hold dear. We had some really good friends when we lived in Denver. When we all moved to KY (for our own reasons), they moved to a parcel of land, built a house out of paper logs, home schooled their kids and we went our separate ways. They are now fundies of the highest order and the kids are likewise brainwashed. Is it KY or the dope we smoked together in Denver. Uh, it’s Kentucky.
dNorrisM #84:
Result: True! (For large values of 3.)
Conclusion: The Bible is accurate and inerrant. Praise the Lord!
I clicked the “Randomly Selected Pictures” link several times and it always came up with the same set of pictures. Apparently they use the same criteria for defining “random” as they do for defining “science”
I always look at the Top Level Domain for the web pages I visit. I wonder why this one uses Turks and Caicos Islands. Other than the the aesthetic of having .tc (obvious reference to twin cities) could it be to circumvent the laws and statutes in the US for child abuse?
Hi P.Z., Just another person from Columbus looking for details of your visit. I’d love to come if it’s open to the public. Thanks for your time
Columbus!!! i hope you come to the university, but i’ll do my best to be there either way
PZ where will be in Columbus, Ohio? I plan to be motoring down from Cleveland.
Janine- let’s go into business with snackfoods for Christians- Cheezuz’n’Jeezuz
Ahhhhh! I had no idea there was such a thing as the TCCSA! Aren’t we supposed to be one of the smartest cities in the country?
siddharth @54: Is that before or after Kamala?
Remember, African swallows are not migratory.