Would you like to host a TV series?

Leading cable television network is casting for female scientists (professionals or grad students) to host a reality/documentary series. Smart, energetic, charismatic candidates wanted. No previous media experience required.

“Reality series” always means “mindless” to me, but hey, maybe you can inject some intelligence into it.

These shows always want someone who is not me, though, which is always a bit depressing, even if I’m personally not at all interested in doing anything like this.


  1. MAJeff, OM says

    Well, it says “reality/documentary” so it might not be heading in the Flava of Love direction. Then again, a bunch of biologists, chemists, and physicists (plus an anthropologist or two) in Flava’s house might be something worth watching!

  2. says

    MAJeff: You’re describing Sb! Man, if a reality TV crew could ever capture the behind the scenes drama at this place…

  3. cq says

    Watching a reality show that might feature a grad student’s life? I can hardly imagine anything more depressing. All those shots of all-nighters in the lab…

    It would be interesting if the show were about a world-class scientist who was deciding on a grad student to work with in the style of Survivor: every week a student gets kicked out of the lab. It would help if the scientist were fire breathing like Gordon Ramsey’s persona on Hell’s Kitchen, for example, whipping beakers across the room when an experiment failed and such.

  4. szqc says

    @ zero “I vote ERV with her CNN worthy ta-tas gets this job!!!!!!!”

    @MAJeff “*headdesk*”

    I see MAJeff’s “headdesk” are raise him a “WTF?”.

    has zero mutated into the late unlamented creepertastic and banned Hugh Slaman – who had a rather unhealthy obsession with ERV and other female bloggers?

  5. says

    Although the ad is, indeed, sexist, it is not necessarily specieist: It only specifies “female scientist.” Anybody know any female cephalopods with scientific qualifications? She couldn’t do much worse than the typical “science reporter” on any local TV/radio station, or even national service… and one wouldn’t wonder if she had bleached out her last remaining synapse during the broadcast.

    One other (serious) note: Please, please, please let’s hope for a scientist who is not an MD. Sooooooooooo many “science reporters” these days seem to be MDs… which leads to some real problems with both what they report and how they report it.

  6. David Marjanović, OM says

    Sexism is only okay when it’s against males, apparently.

    You misunderstand. The ad is an attempt to abolish the 99 % quota for men in this kind of business.

  7. wÒÓ† says

    I vote ERV with her CNN worthy ta-tas gets this job!!!!!!!

    Link, please? I loves me some boobies.

  8. windy says

    I see MAJeff’s “headdesk” are raise him a “WTF?”.

    Hey, ERV made the joke herself.

    Although given recent events, I guess we should learn to source our risque jokes…

  9. Carlie says

    zero should have linked in the post, because otherwise it turns from being an in-joke to, yes, being headdesk sexist.

    cq, that would be AWESOME. I can see the weekly councils now: “He always uses up the reagents and never refills them from the stockroom! I vote him Out Of The Lab!”
    Weekly challenge: Whoever can incorporate all of the directly contradictory changes made to their proposal by all members of their committee the fastest gets immunity for next week.

    The possibilities are endless…

  10. Longtime Lurker says

    Hawt chix in tite labkotes rool!

    Maybe Tara Reid can reprise her role from that godawful Uwe Bole movie “Alone in the Dark”.

  11. says

    All right, all you hound dogs, pick your tongues up off the floor, already…

    Abbie/ERV, if you’re reading this, yes, we’re all perverts. It’s just proof positive of my definition of a gentleman: a man who’s able to hide his perversion better than most other men.

  12. clinteas says

    @ Paul Lundgren,No 17 :

    You probably meant what you said in a funny way.
    However,I dont think Im a pervert when

    //Leading cable television network is casting for female scientists (professionals or grad students) to host a reality/documentary series. Smart, energetic, charismatic candidates wanted. No previous media experience required.//

    given the job description above,my first thought was of our favourite smart,energetic,charismatic HIV researcher…
    And as windy said,she made the boobie joke herself…
    So speak for yourself !

  13. says

    Clinteas, yes, I was joking, just for the record. And as a former broadcaster whose disgust with the profession is nearly bottomless, I can tell you right now that whoever the show’s producer’s are, ERV would leave them in her wake. They wouldn’t know what hit them. And finally, speaking for myself, yes, I’m a total pervert! As Dan Savage says, show me a guy who isn’t! I like to think I’m cheerfully unashamed of that.

  14. Rey Fox says

    How about the science bimbo from those Dow Chemical ads that were infesting Scienceblogs several months ago?

    And say, isn’t Natalie Portman kind of a scientist?

  15. says

    ERV– Home of the inside jokes that appall outsiders. hehe!!

    I might apply! Though I dont understand how the hell they figure any practicing scientist (student or pro) would have time to tape a TV show…

  16. Brian says

    How about Shelly Batts wearing her PZ-Myers disguise? Now THAT’s good television.

  17. says

    Maybe Tara Reid can reprise her role from that godawful Uwe Bole movie “Alone in the Dark”.

    Gee, let me think… ummm, NO. Tara Reid is fairly cute, but there are a lot of attractive women in the world and most of them are far smarter and more interesting than Tara Reid.

  18. says

    Oh, and I will add a vote for ERV. Not for the “Heh heh; ERV is teh HAWT!” reasons that were, um, articulated (so to speak) above; but because Abbie is whip-smart, knowledgeable, articulate, and is able to present data and arguments in a hip-edgy-youth way without watering down or distorting anything (a RARE gift!), in addition to being telegenic enough for consideration.

  19. says

    Not to make Abbie feel bad but if mathematicians count then Danica McKellar would be highly reasonable. She’s the actress who played Winnie on the wonder years and is also a published mathematician.

  20. szqc says

    Sorry – missed that particular in-joke about ERV; I withdrawl my WTF and fold.

    I’m getting too sensitive I suppose…

    Carlie is correct in comments in saying the original ERV post should have been linked by zero (since it dated ~ 17 months ago) and yeah my reaction is related to those sorts of “recent events” Carlie noted.

    That said, its good to see zero hasn’t been hacked as a Slaman sockpuppet…

  21. Longtime Lurker says

    “but there are a lot of attractive women in the world and most of them are far smarter and more interesting than Tara Reid.”

    But she had her hair in a bun, and, and she was wearing glasses!

    It was, as usual for me, snark- I thought the ‘godawful’ was a big tipoff. The only worthwhile film role Ms Reid’s ever had was in “The Big Lebowski”, and that was due to great writing and direction by the Coen brothers.

    “How do get ’em back down on the farm after they’ve seen Carl Hungus?”

  22. Tabby Lavalamp says

    As a long time Survivor/Amazing Race fan, I have to argue that not all “reality” shows are mindless (though I’ve always hated the use of “reality” as a blanket word to cover so many different kinds of show, some are more accurately games shows, and some are simply talent shows).
    Damn, PZ Myers, I’d love to see you on Survivor. It would be nice to see a vocal atheist take part.

  23. amk says

    wÒÓ† speaks! I’ve only ever seen drive by postings of bird pictures before.

  24. Samantha Vimes says

    Junkyard Wars/Scrapheap Challenge was a reality show that taught viewers a bit about science and engineering.

  25. says

    Minor correction to #39.

    Scrapheap Challenge is alive & well, and is currently in mid series over in the U.K. via Channel 4.

    I’ve been BitTorrenting the episodes as they go live on the trackers.

    Last week, one of the teams built a turbine powered, afterburner equipped rocket sled.

    The Brits and the Japanese have the BEST “game” shows!

  26. Moonsail (the apostate) says

    As a survivor of a reality show experience I was forced to endure, my advise would be to everyone would be to stay the hell away from them. They are filled with nothing but lies and edits to follow whatever story they decided on before they start filming.

    Bitter? You bet!