Usually that bible book is vague, which means the Christianists get to interpret it in whatever wild and wacky way they want. They really need a bible that is a bit more explicit to convince me, I’m afraid.
In case, folks are interested, it’s actually a sequel to another piece I wrote for McSweeney’s. And since I’m here, with willing and writing-capable eyes reading, let me just say that after the winter holidays, the SCQ is a little lower than usual in the submissions department, and I invite readers to play.
Lensays
lol!
Not as funny as Olde Charlie Farquharson’s Testament by Don Harron though. God: “I made you frum dust, so you may as well work by the sweat of yer brow. Dust plus sweat is dirt, and that’s all you are to me from now on.”
MYOBsays
‘Burning bush’ indeed. What a lark! What has always amazed me is that if you were to take the bible and cunningly disguise it by substituting names, titles, places and overall aspects of the culture, then make a movie out of it, you’d surely be looking at the most ridiculous of science fiction takes worthy of appearing on the next installment of MST3000.
How people can follow something with such fervor yet if confronted with the exact same scenarios under a different setting are prone to laugh it off as fiction?
David Ng’s scriptural writings are way more interesting than the original. He could give lessons to Henry Morris III, who quotes the Bible to console his readers about the takeover of Congress by “the other political party”. I guess it’s the-party-that- must-not-be-named. How discreet!
“Fear any literate man, capable of impressive facial hair, who is comfortable on boats, has a thing for finches, and is named Darwin, for he is basically an unrighteous phony. So it is said in the very literal Kingdom of God.”
But David, our Darwin was seasick for 5 years.
But that means he wasn’t an unrighteous phony, I guess …
Oh, never mind!
B. Woodsays
Let’s not forget all the translations it’s been throug. And lingual shifts. And the editing for content. Ah the Apophrica. How Mary Magdline pisses off some people I know.
emkay says
2000 years of myths and fairy tales condensed to five or six paragraphs….a little short on details, but I like.
David Marjanović says
“Not a monkey”
ROTFL!!!
David Marjanović says
“Not a monkey”
ROTFL!!!
David Ng says
Thanks Paul, for the link to my humour piece.
In case, folks are interested, it’s actually a sequel to another piece I wrote for McSweeney’s. And since I’m here, with willing and writing-capable eyes reading, let me just say that after the winter holidays, the SCQ is a little lower than usual in the submissions department, and I invite readers to play.
Len says
lol!
Not as funny as Olde Charlie Farquharson’s Testament by Don Harron though. God: “I made you frum dust, so you may as well work by the sweat of yer brow. Dust plus sweat is dirt, and that’s all you are to me from now on.”
MYOB says
‘Burning bush’ indeed. What a lark! What has always amazed me is that if you were to take the bible and cunningly disguise it by substituting names, titles, places and overall aspects of the culture, then make a movie out of it, you’d surely be looking at the most ridiculous of science fiction takes worthy of appearing on the next installment of MST3000.
How people can follow something with such fervor yet if confronted with the exact same scenarios under a different setting are prone to laugh it off as fiction?
MYOB’
.
Zeno says
David Ng’s scriptural writings are way more interesting than the original. He could give lessons to Henry Morris III, who quotes the Bible to console his readers about the takeover of Congress by “the other political party”. I guess it’s the-party-that- must-not-be-named. How discreet!
dinogami says
Here’s the best condensed version (and the only really good lesson from) the New Testament:
http://www.shadowculture.com/wtbr/bestof/lifeofchrist.html
John Pieret says
But David, our Darwin was seasick for 5 years.
But that means he wasn’t an unrighteous phony, I guess …
Oh, never mind!
B. Wood says
Let’s not forget all the translations it’s been throug. And lingual shifts. And the editing for content. Ah the Apophrica. How Mary Magdline pisses off some people I know.