Signs of the coming Cephalopocalypse

This could be a new feature here, rather like RaptureReady’s Rapture Index. I’m collecting omens and portents of the coming of our imminent doom at the hands suckers of the Tentacled Great Old Ones. It’s a race: will the cephalopods beat Jesus? A distinct edge goes to the squiddies—at least they’re real.


As mentioned earlier, cephalopods are turning up in our nation’s rivers and highways.


Martin Rundkvist reports that the Swedish Research Council’s new outreach magazine is called…Tentakel.


Majikthise reveals that the cephalopods have conquered the Moon. (Oh, and here’s a much prettier carving).

Our current Cephalopocalypse Alert Level: 6.7, Glass. Marine molluscs are taking advantage of modern science, beware of strange people in lab coats that have too many arms.


  1. Torbjörn Larsson says

    I’m not too concerned about cephalopod takeover, until they appear armed to the beak. That is a lot of arms…

  2. says

    Over the past few weeks, I’ve been seeing this nonsesne about the coming apocalypse presented as “news” on TV. Finally the other day I got completely fed up and decided to channel my anger, so I set up a timer that counts the time since Hezbollah lobbed the first katyusha rocket into Israel. I will keep the page up indefinetely to serve as a permenant reminder to Christians that EVERY time they crow about the apocalypse, they’re ALWAYS wrong.


  3. Martín Pereyra says

    Cthulhu fhtagn!

    I think (and I’m sure others have arrived at the same conclusion) that Cthulhu is an early, sea-food version of the One True God, the FSM. I mean, Lovecraft always lived near the New England coast, it’s natural that he have thought of cephalopods instead of pasta.

    Lovecraft should be regarded as the Abraham of FSMism.

  4. quork says

    will the cephalopods beat Jesus?

    I should hope so. The question is, what will they beat him with?

  5. says

    But what, exactly, constitutes “too many” when it comes to appendages? I mean, eight is obviously fine, and even ten is good. Or is it odd numbers that are bad?

  6. Pieter B says

    Those “netsuke” offered for sale these days are pale imitations of the real thing. My grandfather was a collector, and I inherited some of them. One, dated about 1830-1850, depicts a fishwife attempting to wrap a large live octopus; much more subtle than the one linked above, but if you turn it over, similar in theme.