This could be a new feature here, rather like RaptureReady’s Rapture Index. I’m collecting omens and portents of the coming of our imminent doom at the
hands suckers of the Tentacled Great Old Ones. It’s a race: will the cephalopods beat Jesus? A distinct edge goes to the squiddies—at least they’re real.
As mentioned earlier, cephalopods are turning up in our nation’s rivers and highways.
Martin Rundkvist reports that the Swedish Research Council’s new outreach magazine is called…Tentakel.
Majikthise reveals that the cephalopods have conquered the Moon. (Oh, and here’s a much prettier carving).
Our current Cephalopocalypse Alert Level: 6.7, Glass. Marine molluscs are taking advantage of modern science, beware of strange people in lab coats that have too many arms.
TorbjÃ¶rn Larsson says
I’m not too concerned about cephalopod takeover, until they appear armed to the beak. That is a lot of arms…
G Barnett says
Plushie Cthulhu approves. You will be eaten last. ;)
Derek Rodgers says
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been seeing this nonsesne about the coming apocalypse presented as “news” on TV. Finally the other day I got completely fed up and decided to channel my anger, so I set up a timer that counts the time since Hezbollah lobbed the first katyusha rocket into Israel. I will keep the page up indefinetely to serve as a permenant reminder to Christians that EVERY time they crow about the apocalypse, they’re ALWAYS wrong.
You would feel more serene if you had been touched by his noodly appendage.
Our current Cephalopocalypse Alert Level: 6.7, Glass
Oh, can someone pleeeeease make a Cephalopocalypse alert level banner???
MartÃn Pereyra says
I think (and I’m sure others have arrived at the same conclusion) that Cthulhu is an early, sea-food version of the One True God, the FSM. I mean, Lovecraft always lived near the New England coast, it’s natural that he have thought of cephalopods instead of pasta.
Lovecraft should be regarded as the Abraham of FSMism.
Or maybe that’s just Shiva in a lab coat? That wouldn’t be good either…
I mean, even avatars need to pay the bills in between millenia.
I should hope so. The question is, what will they beat him with?
Space Parasite says
But what, exactly, constitutes “too many” when it comes to appendages? I mean, eight is obviously fine, and even ten is good. Or is it odd numbers that are bad?
Hey, P.Z., you might like this book solely for its cover
(L Neil Smith isn’t to my taste…)
Keith Douglas says
“Cephalopocalypse” sounds so depressing. Can’t we have a cephalopalooza instead?
Apocalypse or no, you gotta admit that “Tentakel” would be a GREAT name for a death-metal band
This one is pretty cool too:
The New York Crank (Etoain Shrdlu) says
I have read your blasphemous website and I predict that you will rot in heck.
Pieter B says
Those “netsuke” offered for sale these days are pale imitations of the real thing. My grandfather was a collector, and I inherited some of them. One, dated about 1830-1850, depicts a fishwife attempting to wrap a large live octopus; much more subtle than the one linked above, but if you turn it over, similar in theme.
The celaphopod worshippers are in control in one city where their symbol is even on the manhole covers! Beware. Go to
Ho, boy, I really blew that one. Cephalopods, I apologize! Julie
some have splashed sheep blood on their homes to keep Death Angels away, but you won’t be safe unless you have these. several. often. everywhere.