Forced Participation Sucks: Sunday is just another day

“Mother’s Day” is one of the worst “holidays” of the year, and not for the commercialism. Society sends a clear message to everyone: “participate or shut up”, the same insulting message sent at “christmas” and “valentine’s”.

For those who grew up in horrible families, forced and undeserved adulation of egg donors is as appalling as forced adulation of an ex-partner who used to verbally, mentally, physically or sexually abuse you. Being blood related does not grant special privileges.

For those who choose to be Childfree, hearing others demand that you breed is a violation of your rights and bodily autonomy.

For those unable to have children for a variety of reasons (e.g. infertility, poverty, never marrying, etc.), being labelled “barren” or a “failure” is dehumanizing.

For those who are Transgender man, Non-Binary people and cisgender women, ovulation, having a womb and becoming pregnant does not determine the value of your life.

For anyone who had good parents and came from a loving family, I’m glad.  But don’t tell anyone who didn’t that their experiences aren’t valid, that it was somehow “their fault” or that people should “forgive” things that were unforgivable.



  1. says

    There’s one more problem with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day being separate celebrations with different names—some parents are non-binary. By separating Mother’s Day from Father’s Day people enforce the gender binary for parents, they enforce the social expectation that children are supposed to grow up in families with parents who have differently shaped genitalia and different roles. Besides, some people are raised by their grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. other relatives. It would make so much more sense to instead have one day on which kids and people who raise them can all celebrate the occasion.

    But no, people who want to promote “traditional values” have to insist that being a mother is inherently different than being a father and that these roles cannot overlap. As for kids who are raised by different relatives, those aren’t even supposed to exist, because each kid is claimed to need two role models with differently shaped genitalia and different parenting roles.

    Obviously, I am not celebrating this nonsense. Mostly because my mother happens to be transphobic and homophobic, thus I sort of don’t feel like talking with her more than absolutely necessary.