Republican folks who are “troubled” have doubled
It lets them look noble and oh-so-concerned
A camouflage cover concealing their dealings
Cos voters won’t search very hard, they have learned
This “troubled” Republican faction’s true actions
Are somewhat at odds with the words they lay down;
No chance they’ll be serving the POTUS his notice
It’s more than enough that the press see them frown!

You’ve seen this before, many times now (it rhymes, now!)
Instead of strong action, it’s all “thoughts and prayers”
Pretend that the right words are magic—it’s tragic,
Cos nothing gets done, although everyone “cares”
I’m sick of this strange, never-ending pretending
They look like they care, but they show that they don’t
It’s all a façade—I’m not buying their lying
Let’s vote in a Congress who’ll do what these won’t

Yup, there are more and more GOP congressweasels declaring that they are “troubled” by the actions of the trump administration. This means every bit as much as their “thoughts and prayers” following natural disasters.

Thing is, for ordinary people, being “troubled” and sending “thoughts and prayers” is not an unreasonable thing to say. Yes, it is useless, but ordinary people don’t have a direct way of making a significant difference in the situation. Even if they send money, food, or blood to disaster victims, an ordinary person is sending a relatively small amount. That small amount is more than “thoughts and prayers”, but not nearly so much as what a sitting representative or senator could do. It’s when the representatives and senators use the “thoughts and prayers” language that we realize “hey, but… these weasels could actually do something more than I could!” and in this new context, see their “thoughts and prayers” as literally the least they could do.

And now we have GOP congressweasels saying “I’m troubled”, when they could be actually calling for an independent investigator. “I’m troubled” plays well… or rather, it has, historically.

So, hey, support those congressweasels in your thoughts and prayers. And support their opponents at the polls.



  1. says

    Trump is being just as autocratic as he was on The Apprentice. His supporters that, only now, are evincing a frisson of doubt, are just lying: they knew all along what they chose.

    As a fan and supporter of mustelidinae, I am not sure I like “congressweasel” as a term. Remember, that otters, badgers and wolverines are just giant weasels. And they are much more moral, considerate, gentle, good-smelling, and pleasant than most Congresspeople.

  2. Cuttlefish says

    If I could, I would separate metaphorical weasels from literal ones. I love literal weasels. Metaphorical weasels are, as a general rule, not worth the powder to blow them up. Alas, the context of languaging does not present an effective way to separate metaphorical and literal weasels from one another.

    There otter be a better way. But badgering people won’t get us there. (as an Ohio State fan, I cannot comment on wolverines.) I hope to ferret out some sort of solution… (imagine I work in Fisher Cat, Ermine, Marten, and other puns).

  3. Pierce R. Butler says

    I’m troubled by the increasing likelihood of President Pence – and almost everybody happily saying, “We’re back to normal now!”

  4. Cuttlefish says

    I am hoping Pence pulls an Agnew, such that Trump has to find a Ford.

    I know, not gonna happen.

  5. Pierce R. Butler says

    The great thing about the Comey Constitutional Crisis, from the Repub point of view, is that (so far) Pence has much less entanglement than he does with the Flying Flynn Fuckup.

  6. Pierce R. Butler says

    Uh, well, looks like I lied in my # 5: Mike Pence is neck-deep in Donald Trump’s James Comey mess:

    Pence was among the small group of staff members with whom Trump had mulled the decision after he became angry over Comey’s testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee last week. So Pence knew very well that Trump had decided to fire Comey for his own reasons when he went before the cameras and said that the president had merely “accepted the recommendation” of the Deputy Attorney general. … Pence lied dramatically in the debate with Democratic vice presidential candidate Sen. Tim Kaine of Virginia, even claiming that he had never contrasted President Vladimir Putin favorably with President Barack Obama, despite videotape of him saying it. More important, Pence ran the transition after Trump fired Gov. Chris Christie. And it was during that period that General Michael Flynn was making his inappropriate phone calls to the Russian ambassador…

    I can’t leave the topic without citing this Talking Points Memo piece:

    … this is REALLY about the “mildly nauseous” comment. You and I know that Comey meant that the idea that he might have influenced an election made him feel sick. Trump heard that as “you make me sick,” as a personal attack. So, fuck you, he had to go. It’s the dumbest explanation that fits all the available information.

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