If We Waterboard The Donald

If we waterboard The Donald,
Oh, the things that he might say!
True, he may not really mean them,
But he’ll say them anyway

We could manage his confession
We could torture him a bit
He would sing like a canary—
It would mean, precisely, shit.

If we waterboard The Donald
Oh, the things he might confess!
He’s the puppet of Obama,
Nothing more and nothing less!

He’s been pulling strings forever
Keeps his secrets in a vault
With enhanced interrogation
Seems it’s all The Donald’s fault!

If we waterboard The Donald
Oh, the details we might find!
Though, of course, they’d be the product
Of his tortured orange mind

Donald killed the Lindburgh baby,
And he murdered JFK
If we waterboard The Donald
He’d confess it all today!

If we waterboard The Donald
What he’d say to make us stop!
He’d confess a list of evils
From the bottom to the top

It’s unethical; immoral;
It’s as horrid as could be…
If we waterboard The Donald
Then I’m sure that he’d agree.

Y’know… I’m not even going to link to a Trump interview. Trump wants more torture, which pretty much doesn’t distinguish him from his GOP rivals. Whether they lead their followers, or just try their best to get out in front of the horde so they appear to be leading it, this is a truly horrendous state of affairs.

And, the thing is, if we can just waterboard Trump for a bit, I’m certain we could get him to agree.


  1. brucegee1962 says

    The spectacal of seeing the handfull of conservatives who have agreed to be waterboarded, and who immediately and sputteringly agree that it is torture, have certainly been entertaining. But I think the Donald is qualitatively different. The others have all claimed that it isn’t REALLY torture, it’s just an unpleasant inconvenience. DT is the first politician I can recall to come out enthusiastically pro-torture. The torture part is why he likes it — his only complaint is that it isn’t torture-y enough.

  2. says

    handfull of conservatives who have agreed to be waterboarded

    I don’t believe Hitchens was in favor of waterboarding before, and certainly wasn’t in favor of it afterward.

    I’m not sure how many other conservatives have been waterboarded. There have been a few who have bragged about it. But that’s easy. I’d totally be willing to be guillotined to show that it’s not fatal.. uh, have your secretary call mine and we’ll set up a time.

    For anyone who is curious about waterboarding experience, I recommend:

  3. says

    The radio shock jock Mancow was a famous example: from “It’s no big deal” to “It is absolutely torture” in just six seconds. I admire him for having the guts to put his own breathing apparatus on the line.

    Interesting!!! Good report!

    And strangely telling that there was a US Army sergeant who knew how to apply the technique.

  4. StevoR says

    Respect for Hitchens
    Who faced waterboarding
    Got tortured and admitted that water
    Was torture.
    Disrespect to Trumpster who blusters and lies
    Never facing the facts which just buzz round like lies
    On the shit that he speaks and he spews and he poos
    Ever closer to being the one that they choose.
    Hard to believe it sure is.
    That this man full of piss
    Orange skinned hateful bliss,
    Could become POTUS
    Of the greatest land there is.
    Last superpower standing
    Full of such vilest false, hate full of grandstanding.
    But still could be worse
    In our sad universe.
    Could be Cruz not Trump curse
    As POTUS 2016 please spare us!

  5. StevoR says

    Go Hillary!
    Go Bernie!
    Go anyone else
    Please spare us from hatred
    Leave The Repubs on the shelf.
    Please don’t let these arseholes become Commander in Chief
    Else fuck everyone we’re all in for a shitload of grief.

    NB. This may amusingly rhyme but shit its flippin’ serious for the whole pale blue dot taht we live on. Wherever we liev upon it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *