Bishops, And Pawns

Via Kevin Zelnio on twitter, the story of a former bishop with a problem. His laptop contains child pornography, including images of torture.

When I read the headline, my first thought was “Again?” Didn’t I already write about a bishop? Well, yeah. Twice.

First, an arch-bishop of New York, covering up the abuses of priests:

I am the Bishop, the moral authority,
The good of my flock is my highest priority
Unless (or until) there’s a Shepherd accused,
And a lamb from my flock is among the abused.

I am the Bishop; to me they will come,
Both Shepherd and Sheep (because people are dumb)
I’m trusted to do what is just, what is right,
To head off a scandal, and keep things from sight.

I am the Bishop; the power is mine,
The law is of earth, but the issue’s divine
It’s morally righteous to hide the report,
And to fight and appeal when they take us to court.

I am the Bishop. The transcripts disclosed
I created a smokescreen when duly deposed;
I watched for my shepherds, and helped them escape
From those cruel allegations of beatings and rape.

I am the Bishop—Archbishop, New York;
I won’t admit shame, like in Dublin or Cork,
Here, cases are fewer, convictions are less—
It’s to me, not the cops, to whom Shepherds confess!

I am the Bishop, so I can forgive—
They’ll surely be punished, but not while they live.
The civil authorities think it’s a scam
But I am the Bishop; I don’t give a damn

I am the Bishop; I’ll sink straight to Hell,
With most of my Shepherds beside me, as well,
Where Satan’s the judge; no one grants an appeal…
But I am the Bishop. I know it’s not real.

Then, a bit later, in Philadelphia, a story of the review process intended to hide prevent abuse:

I am the Bishop, the first in the line
When reviewing a case, the decision is mine;
If I choose, I will forward the case to the board—
Most often, I don’t do a thing (thank the Lord!)

I am the Bishop; the Board of Review
Are my people, who do what I tell them to do
In each of the cases my Board made a call
They decided the case had no substance at all

I am the Bishop, the man you can trust—
Well, can is inaccurate; really, you must
Just ask me your questions; I give you my word
To give every detail that I want to be heard

I am the Bishop; I see in the news
They are calling for new, independent reviews!
It’s simply outrageous, to treat us this way
And put private Church business on public display

I am the Bishop; I know what we did—
How much is now public; how much is still hid
There’s a chance you’ve been actively kept unaware—
But I am the Bishop. I really don’t care.

How many rogue individuals does it take, before it’s a systematic problem?


  1. Amadan says

    He eyed His disciples and shrewdly took stock,
    And the Lord pronounced clearly “Upon this here Rock”
    For deep in the Earth is where silica’s densest
    And morally bishops go low’r than the restest.

    When we look at the bishops – God’s heavyweight fighters –
    We don’t think of robes or of pointy-topped miters.
    They’re shepherds! We don’t pick them out for their looks!
    We look at the staffs in their hands and say ‘Crooks!’

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