National Day Of Prayer

No, seriously. It’s the National Day Of Prayer. Not everyone is happy about it.

It’s time to raise our voice in prayer,
And pray to–well, there’s no one there.
No god to urge to do our bidding;
Go on and pray–just know you’re kidding.

It’s time to all sit on our asses,
And pray forgiveness for trespasses
(Or is that to forgive our debtor?
Who cares, as long as we feel better.)

It’s time we all embrace god fully,
Feel all righteous, good, and holy–
Or be some atheistic jerk,
Roll up your god-damned sleeves, and work!

It’s time to say “I do not care
To join you in this day of prayer.”
Sure, a day off looks like fun,
But there is work that must be done.

Our problems will not fix themselves
There is no god to send in elves
To do the work of human ranks
So… join, today, in prayer? No thanks.


  1. says

    This designated worship dayMakes me feel pious, I must say.So much, in fact, that now I fearI’m done for the rest of the year.

  2. says

    Come on now, please give prayer a chance!Perhaps we’ll do a fine rain dance,Or clasp our hands to repent our follyOr sing a song, won’t that be jolly?And if it doesn’t work, well thenIt wasn’t enough, so try again!And if it fails a second time,It’s because our prayers didn’t rhyme.And if our words don’t end the drought,It’s only because we weren’t devoutEnough to let our prayers be heardSo try once more now, for the third!Fifty years from now, you’ll seeMy prayers will be answered eventually.Although you’ve worked until you dread it,It’s God, not you, who gets the credit!

  3. says

    This is why I fail to mentionUnder veil of pretensionThat I am AmericanFor truly, if I was to sayThat I agreed with this in any wayHere I come, Cirque Du Soleil!Praying is a pointless bother(Like explaining verse to your father)And should be abandoned for more constructive things.(And I must say, time pertainingThat I’ve found your blogVery entertaining.)

  4. says

    Poetic, no that is not meHow you do it, I cannot seeTo give god thanks? It’s just nonsensicalTo give to blood banksis much more sensibleYou can see now why I don’t do versesThis is one of my new favorite blogses

  5. Cycle Ninja says

    I once said a prayer in Nantucket:James Dobson would soon kick the bucket.His smirk went onJust like his conAnd my lunch, I proceeded to chuck it.

  6. says

    Did they die?God called them home.Did they live?God spared his own.And so no matterhow you choose,Live or die,they just can’t lose.God answers everyprayer, they know;Sometimes the answerthough, is no,and so you see,the game is bent:Yes or no,it’s heaven-sent.And when they must,they have a cannon(no, not a priest,that one’s a canon):Your prayer’s unanswered?Well, my son,It must be that you’rethe evil one.God’s ways are holy,pure and good:he’d help you, surely,if he could -and since all mighty’swhat he is:the fault is yours, boy,never his.

  7. says

    Okay, no Friday limerick, so here’s one for today.Day of PrayerHow moral and holy the Day of Prayer was! ‘Mongst many religions it stirred up a buzzOf anger, hard feelings and downright denial,‘Cause the Dobson-led task force required a trial…Of faith before ‘llowing just anyone otherThan one kind of Christion; the rest could just smotherThemselves in frustration – their prayers clearly not Quite good enough, right enough, just so much rot!They got all their long johns in such a tight twist,They formed some more groups because they’re really pissed!Now competitive praying’s the new sport of choice.I wonder whose team had the best praying voice?Do you think they kept score of which prayers got answered?Which style worked the best? Did they make us de-cancered?Did all of those prayers even make a real dentIn hunger or violence? Did they circumventAny wars, rapes or illness? Were they efficacious?Or was the day wasted? Was prayer proved fallacious? I’m sure they will claim that their God-given graceCreated His blessings all over the place.As usual, they’ll point to just any good thingGod did it! How holy! Let’s rejoice and sing…Because He has saved us. See, we are still here!That proves that He loves us. (Didn’t He give us beer?)So, again there’s no stopping those legions, devout.No matter how false, they leave reasoning out!

  8. says

    Lily-livers! Serpent-gods won’t heedYour pleadings. Weak-kneedWords are not enough:Your tongue must bleed!

  9. says

    How Firm The Foundation?There was no Day of Prayer, of course,When General George sat on his horse,Or stood up in the boat that nightThe god-forsaken Brits to fight.Nor did we pray as one back whenPoor Richard (nom de plume of Ben)While building up his pow’r and pelfSaid “god helps him who helps himself.”And neither John nor AbigailDid think it meet a god to hailFrom Maine to Georgia in one voice:For prayer’s an individual choice.Young Tom, who liked a pretty wench,Our liberty, and all things French —In everything he did Declare,Did not include a Nation’l prayer.James, who, mayhap by heaven’s lights,Fought hard to pass the Bill of Rights,Would say those rights are violateWhen prayer is sponsored by the state.The Founders’ time, it was, some say, Our country’s grand, most glorious day!We were more moral just, and fair,Back then, before our Day of Prayer.

  10. says

    Wow! What a great bunch of poets out there! I’ll have to hand it to you, Cuttles! You have inspired some real talent to show itself! Kudos to all! But to you, special thanks for unleashing all this heretofore pent-up creativity!

  11. says

    I am tickled, and filled with delightThough I’m thinking, already I mightHave to face up to facts:That with all these class acts,I’m now seventh best bard on the site!

  12. says

    Seventh? Oh surely you jest.Our poems are at your behest.It’s your number one-ness that led to our progress,Such modesty we must protest!With verses, so pure and high-browed,We acknowledge you’re, word-wise, endowed…In such a fine way, that we’ve all come to playIn your sandbox – mayhap your dust cloud!

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