Children frolic in Alabama

What a good idea. No, I mean, what a bone-achingly bad idea. Alabama wants to see children carrying hand guns.

…lawmakers have proposed an amendment to the state’s gun laws that would allow minors to acquire their very own pistols. At the moment, the law is on a bit more even keel, stipulating that “no person shall deliver a pistol to any person under the age of 18.” Lawmakers want that changed to allow minors to have pistols, but only if they get the permission of a “parent, guardian, or spouse who is 18 or older (?)”

So little George age 5 who is married to Tina age 19 will be able to pack heat as long as darling Tina says yes. That’s sweet.

The measure is sponsored by three state senators: Arthur Orr, Greg Reed and Clay Scofield (all Republicans). A matching House bill is being sponsored by Ed Henry, Micky Hammon, Barry Moore and Corey Harbison (all Republicans). It’s unclear why the group of lawmakers felt that kids needed additional relaxation of existing gun laws.

On the flip side, we do know that childhood shooting accidents are in the top ten leading causes of accidental death among children. We should use the term “accidental” very loosely here because in almost every case the child stumbled across a loaded and unsecured gun somewhere in their own or a family member’s home. Now, in Alabama, children won’t even need to “stumble” on a gun, they’ll legally be allowed to possess it.

Get ready for fun!



  1. Blanche Quizno says

    Oh, you laugh, but when we left North Carolina in early 2001, the legislature was preparing to take a look at laws on the books that allowed girls as young as 12 to marry older men, with the girls’ parents’ permission, provided the girls in question were pregnant or already had children by the men they were to marry!

    Child abuse? Rape? Pedophilia?? Whut r dose big werds? What does dey mean??

  2. says

    Hey, if the Lord’s Resistance Army kids can carry guns, Alabama kids will need them, too – to defend themselves.

    What could possibly go wrong?

    Cue Alabama parents wringing their hands, crying “Why did gawd take my little darling? Wai!? Wai!?”
    Because you’re a dumb chucklefuck who let your kid near dangerous tools.

    Of course out here in rural Pennsylvania where there is no helmet law, I often see kids riding on the handlebars of their parents ATVs … no helmet. One up the street got killed last year and everyone was very upset. No shit. It was completely predictable.

  3. karmacat says

    Looks like the gun dealers are trying to open a whole new market. We should ask these idiots why there are laws against teenagers drinking and smoking cigarettes. Maybe they can think of all the stupid things they did at 16 years old. Oh, wait, they are still doing stupid things.

  4. Pierce R. Butler says

    The proposed law needs a couple of amendments, to the effect that girls may only possess pink pistols, and that pink pistols may be possessed only by girls.

    To pass muster with the Chief Justice of Alabama’s Supreme Court, it may also need to specify that (and which) Bible verses will be engraved on guns given or sold to minors.

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