Twinkle Cavanaugh introduced her friend

Alabama. Alabama’s really pushing the envelope these days.

The Alabama Public Service Commission apparently begins all of its meetings with a prayer session, but a recent one from last week took on what some consider an unusually political message, lamenting the “sinful” ways of those who allow gay marriage, abortion, and the “removal” of God from public schools.

APSC commissioner Twinkle Cavanaugh introduced her friend, John Delwin Jordan, a member of her local baptist church and an active Prattville Tea Party leader.

Wait. Twinkle? Prattville? For real?


Jordan began his prayer session imploring the meeting attendees to hold their hand up if they “believe in the power of prayer.”

The end of the four-minute prayer saw a turn from the theological to the political, with Jordan lamenting aloud: “God, we’ve taken you out of our schools, we’ve taken you out of our prayers, we’ve murdered your children, we’ve said it’s OK to have same-sex marriage. God, we have sinned. And we ask once again that you’ll forgive us of our sins.”

Oh shut up. It’s not “we” – you mean “they,” and you want god to punish us and forgive you. Own it. Just tell god to smite all the infidels and throw them into hell, then say “thank you for inviting me” and get out.

Meanwhile somebody should take the Alabama Public Service Commission to court.

H/t Christopher.



  1. Anthony K says

    God, we’ve taken you out of our schools, we’ve taken you out of our prayers, we’ve murdered your children, we’ve said it’s OK to have same-sex marriage.

    No you fucking haven’t. We did that. You fuckers blocked that shit. You don’t get credit for that.

    When the devil comes to take us all to our gay orgy baby-killing reward, I want it on record that these shits weren’t helpful at all with taking god out of shit and murdering his children, whenever that apparently happened.

  2. smhll says

    I’m tempted to cut some of these sanctimonious people off in traffic just to see if they take the Lord’s name in vain…or if they are really as sin-less and stain-free as they claim to be.

  3. Pieter B, FCD says

    There’s a joke about that, smhll

    A driver is being tailgated by a impatient woman one afternoon. As they approach the intersection, the light turns yellow. He stops at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgater hits the horn, screaming in frustration as she misses her chance to get through the intersection unimpeded. In mid-rant, she hears a tap on her window and looks up into the face of a very serious-looking police officer. He orders her to exit the car and handcuffs her. He takes her to the station where she is searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell.

    After a couple of hours, another officer approaches the cell and opens the door. She is escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer is waiting with her personal effects. He says, “I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *