Oh thank you so much Allah, you’re so kind

Okay maybe I’m being a big mean atheist poopy head, but honestly, I do wish people would stop thanking Allah for saving Malala’s life. Say what? If Allah saved her life, why the fuck didn’t Allah prevent her (and her schoolmates) from being shot in the first place? Why didn’t Allah cause the shooters to have four flat tires on a very isolated mountain road? Why didn’t Allah give them all a bad intestinal upset that day?

Same old same old. Theodicy. If God this, then why that. Well think about it, people. Use your heads. Don’t just mindlessly thank Allah for stepping in hours after a girl of 14 was shot in the head by a man who thinks he’s acting on Allah’s behalf.

If Allah saved Malala’s life, why didn’t Allah simply set the Taliban straight years ago? Why didn’t Allah sit them all down and say look here, you shits, I don’t want you bullying women and whipping them for not wearing a burqa and keeping them from getting an education. What a stupid vicious idea; stop it this minute. ?

If Allah gets credit for the apparent failure to kill Malala, Allah gets blame for the attempt to kill Malala. It’s both or neither. You don’t get to choose only the nice bits.


  1. Tony •Prom King of Sunnydale High• says


    If Allah saved her life, why the fuck didn’t Allah prevent her (and her schoolmates) from being shot in the first place?

    He was trying to teach her a lesson?
    I’m sure some believer somewhere will trot that pathetic explanation out.

  2. says

    Ravenous She bears, pillars of salt, some sort of pestilence, come on god these are from your greatest hits do we have to think of everything for you?

  3. Beatrice, anti-imperialist anti-racist Islamophobiaphobic leftist says

    He was testing her faith. Or her wannabe murderer’s faith.*

    It’s terribly annoying when religionists trot out all the thanks to the god when thanks should go to the doctors. Doctors saved her. And some luck, probably (starting from after the getting shot part, unfortunately).

    *standard answer when it comes to Christian God, I figure it fits here just as well

  4. ibbica says

    “Why”? ‘Cause this Allah character’s a right asshole.

    (…with a twinge of regret that I’m just not being up to participating in snark or a “day of agreement” right now.)

  5. says

    It’s curious. Here in Oz on the television news, when we get an item about rescues or lives saved it’s always thank the doctors or the firefighters or the police or the bystanders. A similar item from the USA, it’s always thank God.

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