Catholic Bishops reduce their issues to “PR problems”

How clueless can you get? Very, if you’re a Catholic Bishop:

There’s no doubt that America’s Roman Catholic bishops have had their share of what might quaintly be called bad press. The priest sex-abuse scandal, a Vaticancrackdown on nuns, a head-knocking fight with the president of the United States over contraceptive coverage — none of these would qualify as good news.

On Thursday, the bishops said they’ve had enough. It is time, they said, to beef up their public relations arsenal.

“We need more help and sophistication in our messaging,” said Cardinal Sean O’Malley of Boston, who decried the “latest debacle” of bad PR over the treatment of American nuns (which involves an investigation by the Vatican, not the American bishops).

Hemant beat me to what I was going to say:

You don’t need more sophistication in your messaging. You don’t need someone who can deliver your message more clearly.

You need a new message.

Your current image is that of men who are anti-gay, anti-women, and anti-comprehensive-health-care. You don’t do enough to punish the rapists in your midst. A spokesman (I was going to say spokesperson… but we all know they would never hire a woman for the job) won’t be able to make you look good when so much of what you preach goes against common decency.

Exactly. “PR” can only spin so much.  Good PR can convince you Franzia tastes pretty good. Good PR can’t convince you that child rape is somehow awesome.

This is post 46 of 49 of Blogathon. Donate to the Secular Student Alliance here.


  1. merryoldlandofoz says

    Until the Catholic hierarchy understands that, it won’t change. Odds are, all Catholics will have died out before that level of insight occurs.

  2. unbound says

    Seems like the Catholic Church’s leadership is no different than an abusive husband. Continues to ignore the fact that they beat their wife over and over again while only thinking about the nice things they do.

    Seriously, is there a more clueless group of people on this planet?

  3. says

    Good PR can convince you Franzia tastes pretty good. Good PR can’t convince you that child rape is somehow awesome.

    “We’ve secretly replaced this person’s regular instant coffee with a hot steaming cup of Folger’s Child Rape. Let’s see if she can tell the difference…”

    “9 out of 10 dentists recommend Raping Children for cleaner, whiter teeth.”

    “Child Rape: Have it your way.”

    “Child Rape does what Nintendon’t.”

    “Child Rape melts in your mouth, not in your hand.”

    And perhaps the most classic of all:

    “Child Rape. Just Do It.”

  4. 'Tis Himself says

    The Catholic hierarchy pretends to be the moral authority on Earth. However when they’re seen acting in an immoral manner, such as lying about condoms and AIDS or protecting child raping clergy, people get the idea they’re hypocrites. Unfortunately for the bishops, hypocrisy is something that the vast majority of people take a dim view of.

  5. lorimakesquilts says

    They just can’t seem to understand that the old days of secrecy and enforcing silence through guilt are long, long gone. They would be merely pathetic if they weren’t causing so much damage to innocents.

  6. DaveL says

    I think it’s obvious to any reasonably intelligent person that when you spin bullshit really hard, you just end up with bullshit splattered everywhere.

  7. Leni says

    But Franzia DOES taste good. So I’m a little lost on the analogy…

    I know right! And it’s like $2 a liter. What’s not to love?!

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