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Mar 17 2013

Atheism is a religion … sigh

Here we go again. Baldness is a hair color, not collecting stamps is a hobby, and here’s another tired word jumble where a theist tries to comfort themselves by claiming atheism is a religion:

(Fox Naturally) First, they have a functioning God under whom they are subservient (normally it’s science or rationality, but mainly themselves), and that idea of God informs the way they live and interpret their lives. It informs their biases and determines their values, and governs any sense of morality or ethics they adhere too, or ignore.Once that’s all settled all that’s left is the preaching.

And they preach all the time.

This new breed of atheists is obsessed with the idea of God. They write books, deliver speeches, comment-bomb the evangelical blogosphere and generally rant on ad nauseam about the ills of believing in God.

OMFG! Atheists actually write books and give speeches? Next you’ll be telling me they are thinking about the right to freely assemble and meet!

I like to look for a silver lining, and in this case at least we can write and speak without fear of being burned alive at the stake, or having our arms and legs torn in four different directions by galloping horses. I guess that’s progress …But the real progress is yet to come. If you believe in a magic invisible supernatural deity that offers some kind of repayment after death in return for the horrific world it sentenced you to endure for decades, decades if you’re lucky, that’s your prerogative. But it’s also your delusion, not mine and not ours.

I’m not entirely sure what the definition of a religion is or how mutilated and wrecked that definition has to be before atheism squeaks in. But if it means we can start a Foundation here at FtB and enjoy all the perks of a religion, might as well look into it!

15 comments

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  1. 1
    Mak, acolyte to Farore

    How the hell does one be subservient to oneself, anyway?

  2. 2
    Donovan

    If there will be big, phallic hats and sparkling red shoes, I gleefully submit my application for emplo… …er… …well compensated volunteering.

  3. 3
    dgrasett

    The primary perks of a religion is its tax free status. Federal, provincial/state, and municipal. That is a whole lot of tax free.

  4. 4
    yiela

    Religious people sure make what religions do sound nasty.

  5. 5
    Randomfactor

    It’s theists who worship themselves. They create an idealized picture of their own mind which hates the same people they hate, and call it “god.”

  6. 6
    mikeyb

    Of course atheism is a religion. We have all swore allegiance to Cthulhu, which we only acknowledge during our secret rituals, but never in public or print. Silly guys.

  7. 7
    left0ver1under

    Baldness is a hair color, not collecting stamps is a hobby,

    And not committing crimes is a criminal act.

    And health is a form of disease.

  8. 8
    had3

    Mak @ 1; I’m subservient to myself fairly frequently. Not as much as when I was younger, but still often enough.

  9. 9
    quarky2

    Ok. If atheism is a religion, then I claim my house is a parsonage and exempt from all taxation.

  10. 10
    richardelguru

    “…functioning God under whom they are subservient (… mainly themselves)…”
    God? Myself??
    Shouldn’t that mean that I’m Tax Exempt!!

    Yay!!! In the name of the Me-ly of Me-lies, I expect a check in the post.

  11. 11
    Hairy Chris, blah blah blah etc

    I wonder if there’s a tax exemption available for “The Church of Me”?

  12. 12
    pwuk

    Baldness is a hair color, not collecting stamps is a hobby

    And not committing crimes is a criminal act.
    And health is a form of disease.

    And (my fave) not smoking is a brand of cigarette

  13. 13
    F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

    Whip me, Science, beat me. Make me to do your bidding.

  14. 14
    stever

    While it’s ridiculous to call atheism, per se, a religion, Marxism has most of the properties of a religion. Most importantly, Marxists claim a monopoly on The Truth. When Marx’s disciples got control of a major national government, they ran up a bodycount that was impressive, even by Catholic standards.

  15. 15
    Stephen "DarkSyde" Andrew

    We’re actually lucky Marxists didn’t harness religion as part of their ideology. For example, if they had incorporated the Gospels into it — and if you read that material you’ll quickly see it could easily be adapted for such — things might have turned out differently.

  1. 16
    You can all call me Mahout Myers now » Pharyngula

    [...] (via The Zingularity.) [...]

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