Think of all the things Rick Perry would have to be forgiven for if he were to make it past the Pearly Gates. Screwing over the poor in favor of the money changers, demonizing gays, flushing God’s little microscopic souls down the toilet to ‘save them’ from stem cell research, etc. But Tricky Rick knows what God forgives first and foremost and this ain’t no Perrytale!
(Politico) — Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who memorably muttered “oops” during a nationally televised Republican debate, said Wednesday that God forgives such moments — even if voters don’t.
“Every one of us has ‘oops moments’ every day,” the former presidential candidate told an Austin crowd celebrating the National Day of Prayer, according to The Associated Press. “America may not forgive you for it, but God will.”
Why would Tricky Rick lie? Besides, I’m sure this is a divine priority, it’s probably featured in the Good Book prominently, somewhere, “Blessed are the empty-headed suits who cannot vomit up a pithy soundbite on cue.” … Maybe in Gospels, back when Evil Republican Jesus explained, “Blessed are the Kochwhores, for they shall fuck over the country and avoid Unholy taxes with offshore accounts and hedge funds. Laterz!!!1one”