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Sep 08 2012

Needless intrablogular drama-stirring

I recognize that there are certain aspects of Pharyngula’s corporate culture that are to be trifled with only at the risk of great social peril. I also recognize that Freethought Blogs as a whole might well be leary of new people coming on board and then immediately posting things that run counter to everything the community here stands for. PZ and I have agreed that my participation here is on an “at will” basis for that very reason. It’s a sound and well-justified measure.

But there are times when a person must say what she or he must.

 

Cracker

Nosy Parker wishes you a special Pharyngula-themed Happy Caturday.

129 comments

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  1. 1
    magistramarla

    Cats on Pharyngula!
    I LOVE it!

  2. 2
    Happiestsadist, opener of the Crack of Doom

    What a beautiful kitty!

  3. 3
    One Thousand Needles

    wat

  4. 4
    dianne

    Deep rifts ahead!

  5. 5
    Caine, Fleur du mal

    Oh my.

  6. 6
    Beatrice

    Oh yeah, I think I’m going to like your contributions. :)

  7. 7
    chigau (違わない)

    obligatory
    http://xkcd.com/231/

  8. 8
    opposablethumbs

    do we have DEEEEEEP RIFTS!!?!? :-D

    cute cat, cool cracker

    (is that actually anything like what those xtra speshul magick ghosty-crackers look like? dunno why, I always imagined them as round for some reason. And made of rice-flour, a bit like a thicker version of the rice-paper “organic” label they bake onto organic loaves)

  9. 9
    Ashley F. Miller

    OH SHIT JUST GOT REAL

    DEEP RIFTS

  10. 10
    larsmartin

    Now you’re just stirring up controversy to boost traffic.

  11. 11
    Crip Dyke, MQ, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    Anti-Caturday+

  12. 12
    Portia, Now With Improved Loudness and Feminaziism

    I’m on board with this blasphemy against Peezus. :)

  13. 13
    Patricia, OM

    The Pullets™ are not amused.

  14. 14
    GodotIsWaiting4U

    Well, it was nice knowing you.

  15. 15
    Tony •King of the Hellmouth•

    Chris:
    Cats are awesome.
    Glad to know your taste is better than PZ’s :)

  16. 16
    Adam

    oh my… this will not end well.

  17. 17
    Eamon Knight

    UP WITH FELINES! DOWN WITH CEPHALOPODS!!
    [/shit_disturbing]

  18. 18
    Tony •King of the Hellmouth•

    opposablethumbs:
    Wait a second.
    That cracker isn’t *that* kind of cracker…is it?

    Should we be worried for soul of that poor cat about to consume the body of Christ?

  19. 19
    Patricia, OM

    Your bar tab has been closed.

  20. 20
    StarStuff, a soulless cunt

    Yes! Cats have finally infiltrated Pharyngula. Muahahahaha!

  21. 21
    Chris Clarke

    oh my… this will not end well.

    It’s just a fracking cracker.

  22. 22
    Tony •King of the Hellmouth•

    Where’s the canine love though?

  23. 23
    Chris Clarke

    Don’t worry, Tony. I have plenty of dog photos. And rabbit videos. I’m going to release them into the environment in a controlled fashion.

  24. 24
    Dana Hunter

    Oh, Chris. I love you to pieces! Haven’t laughed so hard in ages.

    Oh, and if PZ kicks you out in an anti-felid rage, you’re always welcome to move operations to En Tequila Es Verdad. :-)

  25. 25
    Josh, Official SpokesGay

    Thanks to this post, I know what I’m feeding my cats tonight. Yeah, calamari. Suck on it.

  26. 26
    Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls

    Oh my, another kitteh out to kill PZ?

  27. 27
    janiceintoronto

    But, but, think of the children!

  28. 28
    Chris Clarke

    mmmmmmmm delicious children…

  29. 29
    Caine, Fleur du mal

    Tony:

    Cats are awesome.

    Cats are boring. Especially next to rats. Rats win. Always.

  30. 30
    Randomfactor

    Chris is in no danger. That only LOOKS like a cat. It’s a Mimic Octopus.

    He’s trolling, you guys…

  31. 31
    Chris Clarke

    For you, Caine.

  32. 32
    Gregory Greenwood

    Oh dear, that’s torn it.

    You do realise that this means all out, claw-to-tentacle war, right?

  33. 33
    Caine, Fleur du mal

    Chris:

    For you, Caine.

    Eee, she’s adorable! The virtual ratties of Pharyngula.

  34. 34
    amitxjoshi

    damn it! this was the only liberal blog which pointedly avoided stupid cat pictures, now you had to go ruin it!

    you should now atone with a fire-and-brimstone atheist post or two!

  35. 35
    hyperdeath

    In a fight between a cat and a squid, which would win? In my person opinion, it would be venue specific.

  36. 36
    hyperdeath

    …personal opinion, rather…

  37. 37
    Chris Clarke

    In a fight between a cat and a squid, which would win? In my personal opinion, it would be venue specific.

    I select… the surface of Mars.

  38. 38
    Beatrice

    The cat is preparing to desecrate a cracker, so maybe PZ will let this one pass.

  39. 39
    Sili

    Death to the CEO! Long live the bringer of kitties!

  40. 40
    Ms. Daisy Cutter, Vile Human Being

    OMG SO PRETTY!!!

    Josh:

    Thanks to this post, I know what I’m feeding my cats tonight. Yeah, calamari. Suck on it.

    If I have an aneurysm from laughing today, it’s on your conscience.

  41. 41
    Zeno

    Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!

  42. 42
    SC (Salty Current), OM

    :D

    (My heart skipped a beat, there. Totally worth the momentary dread.)

  43. 43
    BCat70

    Nosy Parker: The Official Spokescat of Pharyngula.

  44. 44
    Patricia, OM

    No!
    We have an OfficalSpokesBeast, the Kraken.

  45. 45
    hypatiasdaughter

    Uhhhh, it’s Rebecca Watson’s fault???……or something…?

  46. 46
    Patricia, OM

    Yep, it’s always Watsons fault, and she deserves a good spanking for posting such an abomination!

  47. 47
    Charly

    You really got me to hold my breath for a moment, before I clicked “read more”. And then I laughed and almost sprayed my keyboard with beer. That is some heavy and dangerous stuff you got there.

  48. 48
    Tapetum, Raddled Harridan

    Caine – those are gorgeous ratties! Vasco is particularly gogeous, but I have a thing for wee, black, fuzzy beasties. Dratted rodent allergies!

  49. 49
    Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach

    Bad Chris! No grog for you.

  50. 50
    PZ Myers

    Jebus, only the second day and he’s already ATTACKING SACRED DOGMA.

  51. 51
    Chris Clarke

    It’s heretastic!

    Caine, those are gorgeous rats. And if they all live in the same house, I am struck dead with envy of what your compost pile must be like. When I lived in Oakland the only time I didn’t have mice living in my compost pile was when I was cleaning rat cages into it every couple days.

  52. 52
    Caine, Fleur du mal

    Tapetum:

    Caine – those are gorgeous ratties! Vasco is particularly gogeous, but I have a thing for wee, black, fuzzy beasties. Dratted rodent allergies!

    Thank you. :D Vasco is a cutie, but he’s completely ruled by his Big Balls!!1!

  53. 53
    Caine, Fleur du mal

    Chris:

    Caine, those are gorgeous rats. And if they all live in the same house, I am struck dead with envy of what your compost pile must be like.

    Thank you. Yes, they all live in the same house, we had unexpected litters. The compost pile is doing very well. :D

  54. 54
    Caine, Fleur du mal

    PZ:

    Jebus, only the second day and he’s already ATTACKING SACRED DOGMA.

    Shouldn’t that be SACRED NOCATMA?

  55. 55
    darkstar

    Cats naturally crave squid, especially deep ocean squid — or so I’m told by TV advertising. Squids and cows, you don’t often see a herd of cats taking down a cow but apparently they crave beef too.

    ** alternative hypotheses: humans find the idea of rat and bug flavored food disgusting — and yet humans still eat canned food.

  56. 56
    Brownian

    I select… the surface of Mars.

    I think you’re gonna do just fine here.

  57. 57
    nms

    viva la gatolución!

  58. 58
    Louis

    1) Cats? Oh This Shit Just Got Real!

    2) No disparaging of my Virtual Rat’s bollocks please. Being ruled by one’s big balls is a pleasant idiosyncrasy, not a problem. Honest. No, really. Please!?

    Louis

  59. 59
    julian

    I come to Pharyngula to get away from those monsters. I will not stand for this!!!

  60. 60
    julian

    I will be starting a petition to have Chris Clarke removed from Pharyngula. All he’s done is tear it down since he joined.

    Who’s with me?!

  61. 61
    Chris Clarke

    I will be starting a petition to have Chris Clarke removed from Pharyngula. All he’s done is tear it down since he joined.

    Who’s with me?!

    I’ll sign it, but only because I like to follow the crowd.

  62. 62
    ChasCPeterson

    Makes thing more fair & balanced to have Caturday and anti-Caturday posts. Teach the controversy!
    Chris is just pretending to be a kalimarophobe, though. And I can prove it.

  63. 63
    Markita Lynda—damn climate change!

    And I read that at “intra-globular.”

    When xe’s finished destroying the cracker, Nosy Parker is welcome to come over and help my cat find that mouse he brought inside and lost.

  64. 64
    JohnnieCanuck

    This has got to be the best Saturday ever.

    Too much fun.

  65. 65
    hyperdeath
    In a fight between a cat and a squid, which would win? In my personal opinion, it would be venue specific.

    I select… the surface of Mars.

    According to my computer modeling, that would result in a draw.

  66. 66
    dianne

    It’s just a fracking cracker.

    It’s a cracker that intends to extract oil from the ground in an especially environmentally unsound way? Destroy it!!!!

  67. 67
    ChasCPeterson

    According to my computer modeling, that would result in a draw.

    Well, yeah. A squid is immobilized on the surface of Mars but the cat probably asphixiates much quicker.

    Now, a size-matched octopus might kick a cat’s ass on the surface of Mars. It has greater anaerobic capacity by far and probably finds the lower gravity covenient for terrestrial locomotion. If we start them close enough together, the octopus could get to the cat and might administer several nasy bites before, during and after the cat’s demise.
    More likely, in its last minutes of life it wouldn’t give a shit about the cat, dead or alive. (It’s dead.)

  68. 68
    Chris Clarke

    I desperately hope anyone on the JPL Mars terraforming crew who reads Pharyngula will note Chas’ statement immediately above, because it has the ring of a new future unfolding in it.

  69. 69
    Chris Clarke

    Mars for octopi! Octopi for Mars!

  70. 70
    blindrobin

    Thait sher’s a fennyy lookin’ seffluhpahd wut wiff thuh fur enawl. Are yew trahn ta puhla fassun on us?

  71. 71
    Artor

    But…but… where are the tentacles?

  72. 72
    Woo_Monster, Sniffer of Starfarts

    But there are times when a person must say what she or he must.

    I admire your courage, Chris. Don’t let the FFtBullies and baboons suppress your free speech!

    No doubt the feminazistasi*will now blacklist you. And Rebecca Watson will organize a crusade to boycott you.

    *This word sounded fine in my head, but looks like a mess written down. Sorry about that.

  73. 73
    Marcus Ranum

    U HAZ CRUNCHY RIFFTS.

  74. 74
    Amphiox

    In an attempt to mediate a honorable ceasefire between cephalopodian and felidian factions, I humbly submit:

    http://keithherrschaft.deviantart.com/art/squid-cat-111927112

    And this:

    http://app.cheezburger.com/hamstah/Favorites/1?showFullSizeFavs=True

  75. 75
    Julien Rousseau

    RandomFactor:

    Chris is in no danger. That only LOOKS like a cat. It’s a Mimic Octopus.

    My thought exactly: http://xkcd.com/928/

    feminazistasi [...] looks like a mess written down

    What about feminaztasi?

  76. 76
  77. 77
    hyperdeath

    ChasCPeterson:

    According to my computer modeling, that would result in a draw.

    Well, yeah. A squid is immobilized on the surface of Mars but the cat probably asphixiates much quicker.

    Your model was obviously more sophisticated than my model. I modeled the fight as the interaction between a spherical cat and a spherical squid. Using empirical data suggesting that compressing animals into spherical masses kills them, I was able to deduce that both the cat and the squid would die.

  78. 78
    Chris Clarke

    The friendly cow all spherical,
    I love with all my brain:
    She makes my models possible
    To complex worlds explain.

    She wanders lowing here and there,
    And yet she cannot stray,
    Because she has no legs down there,
    To her fine shape betray.

    Not blown by any winds that pass
    In vacuum’s perfect grid,
    I love my global bovine lass.
    I do, but oh, Euclid.

  79. 79
    Chris Clarke

    What about feminaztasi?

    A simple “Nazgurl” will probably suffice.

  80. 80
    Tony •King of the Hellmouth•

    Caine:

    Cats are boring. Especially next to rats. Rats win. Always.

    Boring?
    Boring?

    Ok, I have to give you that. If they don’t want to do something, they won’t.

    But, but, they’re still awesome!
    ****

    This reminds me of a few people I’ve encountered who refer to cats as “rats with tails” (yeah, I know, eyeroll).

  81. 81
    bastionofsass

    I think we need to move any further discussion to The Thunderdome. ‘Cause it’s gonna get really ugly.

  82. 82
    Amphiox

    Well, yeah. A squid is immobilized on the surface of Mars but the cat probably asphixiates much quicker.

    The way vertebrate and cephalopod epidermis would react to Martian atmospheric pressures and temperatures, in terms of restricting fluid escape, would need to be included in the model.

    As the one that expires a few nanoseconds later, could, arbitrarily, be declared the winner.

    Posthumously.

  83. 83
    John Morales

    Pointless post is pointless.

    (But such impressive writing!)

  84. 84
    thunk, circumzenithal arc

    Chris:

    No. It can’t be.

    I have long loved this place as avoiding people’s weird responses to felines. But you have done it. You have posted cat pictures here.

    I’m afraid I’ll have to flounce*.

    *Not actually.

  85. 85
    Amphiox

    I have long loved this place as avoiding people’s weird responses to felines. But you have done it. You have posted cat pictures here.

    I’m afraid I’ll have to flounce*.

    *Not actually.

    Repeat after me:

    It is not a cat picture. It is not a cat picture.
    It is not a cat picture. It is not a cat picture.

    It is not a cat picture.

    It’s a cracker picture! (With a cat in it….)

  86. 86
    John Morales

    But there are times when a person must say what she or he must.

    Implying all persons are either a he or a she, eh?

  87. 87
    summerminor

    I predict this shall be the downfall of FTBs. And maybe life as we know it.

  88. 88
    Chris Clarke

    John Morales, I assure you I won’t have even the tiniest bit of hurt feelings if you don’t force yourself to read my posts, or comment on them.

    In fact, I can help you with that second part if you’d like.

  89. 89
    chrislawson

    That photo could be the Ceiling Cat version of the Sistine Chapel creation panel.

  90. 90
    ChasCPeterson

    atmospheric pressures and temperatures

    yes, right, I was just thinking about those problems. Well, we’ll get some kind of atmosphere going before releasing the gladiators animals and it seems only fair to do it someplace thermally amenable to the octopus.

    Morales, you’re being an asshole. In case you want or need to be told that. [Please do not use the word 'imagine' in any form in any reply.]

  91. 91
    echidna

    John, why are you so grumpy and mean early on a Sunday morning in Spring?

  92. 92
    John Morales

    [meta]

    Chris,

    John Morales, I assure you I won’t have even the tiniest bit of hurt feelings if you don’t force yourself to read my posts, or comment on them.

    What gave you the impression I’m forcing myself to read your posts?

    In fact, I can help you with that second part if you’d like.

    I am aware of that — I even noted it elsewhere (though I recall tigtog disputed my claim).

    So, are you warning me to only produce complimentary comments or GTFO?

    If you wish for me to never again comment on your posts, just tell me so.

  93. 93
    ChasCPeterson

    oh but wait; any significant amount of oxygen in the atmosphere and the damn cat probably wins.
    I’ll shut up.

  94. 94
    John Morales

    echidna, perhaps I thought drama-stirring involved stirring drama? :)

  95. 95
    Amblebury, I doesn't afraid of NOTHING!

    Pointless commentpost is pointless.

    (But such impressive pwnage!)

    In fact, I can help you with that second part if you’d like.

    Purrfect.

  96. 96
    Ms. Daisy Cutter, Vile Human Being

    Chris:

    A simple “Nazgurl” will probably suffice.

    ITYM Feminazgul.

  97. 97
    ChasCPeterson

    John, he’s suggesting, more subtly than I am, that you’re being an asshole. That’s all.

  98. 98
    RahXephon, Waahmbulance Driver for St. Entitlement's Hospital

    So, are you warning me to only produce complimentary comments or GTFO?

    No, he’s telling you (in my opinion) to shove your passive aggression in your tedium hole and shut it. I don’t know what you’re trying to prove by swanning in to a comment thread to go “YAWN THIS IS SO POINTLESS MERP”, but all you are proving is that you’re a self-important douche.

  99. 99
    RahXephon, Waahmbulance Driver for St. Entitlement's Hospital

    P.S. I approve of this post. Cats are wonderful.

  100. 100
    Chris Clarke

    So, are you warning me to only produce complimentary comments or GTFO?

    Substantive non-complimentary comments are fine too. But that’s not the issue here: this issue is that you’re behaving in a manner that Chas aptly summarized a couple comments above.

    I would strongly prefer that we get along well, because I have enjoyed reading your comments in a number of places.

    But if not, then life’s too short, and I suspect you have better things to do than write vague, largely content-free comments about how I fail to meet your expectations. I know I have better things to do than read them.

  101. 101
    RahXephon, Waahmbulance Driver for St. Entitlement's Hospital

    I suspect you have better things to do than write vague, largely content-free comments

    Have you ever read Pharyngula comment threads before?

  102. 102
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Have you ever read Pharyngula comment threads before?

    This is a good point, though John does like playing the part of the asshole.

  103. 103
    melody

    BLASPHEMY! I can never unsee. X_X

  104. 104
    Chris Clarke

    Have you ever read Pharyngula comment threads before?

    heh.

  105. 105
    John Morales

    Chris, FWIW, I’d like to get along too, so after this comment I shall depart this thread and darken it no more.

    I am aware that you’re riffing off PZ’s “anti-caturday” posts and joking that you’re running counter to the spirit of the place, but if there’s is any point or content to this post other than that I fail to see it — so it’s kinda hard to make a substantive comment about it.

    Looking at the comment thread, I don’t see all that much substance, but it looks like I’m running counter to the spirit of the comments, and apparently that is no joke at all.

    (Nor have you have failed to meet my expectations, so far, but apparently I have failed to meet yours)

  106. 106
    ambulocetacean

    I don’t like this at all. It’s not free thought if you’re trying to smuggle in Ceiling Cat mumbo-jumbo in the guise of “science”.

    Have you been taking money from the Tempurrton Foundation?

  107. 107
    Tony Sidaway

    My first thought was “My word, that poor squid has lost a lot of limbs!”

  108. 108
    Muz

    re: #76
    I think it would be wise for the Octopi movement to start a bit smaller than a whole planet. Wall Street perhaps.

  109. 109
    Ava, Oporornis maledetta

    Best. “Fold”-ing. Ever.As in the perfect break between the tease and the follow-up. I, for one, welcome our new feline overlord.

  110. 110
    WMDKitty (Always growing and learning)

    KITTY!

    *pounce*

  111. 111
    ibyea

    Cats?! NOOOOOOOO!!!! *melts into a puddle*

  112. 112
    krubozumo

    But but… won’t someone think of the trilobites?

  113. 113
    crocswsocks

    Wait, so only the poster’s comments are colored red? This changes everything…

  114. 114
    kevinv

    Nosy Parker as in from Thunderbirds Are Go?

  115. 115
    chigau (違わない)

    kevinv
    Look at the caption under the photo.

  116. 116
    chigau (違わない)

    never mind
    I hit submit instead of preview

  117. 117
    lcaution

    Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect!

  118. 118
    johnfraser1

    atheism as we know it will never be the same.

  119. 119
    McC2lhu saw what you did there.

    This is the first instance I have ever heard of Schrödinger’s Martian Cat experiment. It goes far beyond the possibilities I (and probably Erwin himself) assumed to be part of such an experiment, including rocket and cable crane importation of octopuses simply for the purpose of cat rending. I can see the advertising now in the commercial breaks during Bill Nye’s new show ‘Fucking Creationist Fuckers’ on Discovery Channel – “HEY KIDS! COLLAPSE YOUR OWN WAVE FUNCTION ON A DISTANT PLANET AND WATCH ANIMALS TURN THE DISTANT ORB INTO A PIRATE’S DEN!”
    .
    .
    .
    SCIENCE!!!

  120. 120
    Lofty

    Knee perching cat approves.(Of what you may ask? Well, stuff, you know. And crackers.)MrrrrMrrrrrMrrrrrMrrrrMeeep?

  121. 121
    theophontes (坏蛋)

    @ John Morales

    but if there’s is any point or content to this post other than that I fail to see it — so it’s kinda hard to make a substantive comment about it.

    Subtle it is. For such is the nature of subversion.

    (I predict major sea-changes ensuing from this. Next up: praise for engineers and physicists!!! It is all downhill from here on out.)

  122. 122
    machintelligence

    Patricia, OM @ 13
    So send him a pullet surprise.
    Sorry, I always wanted to say that.

  123. 123
    neXus

    I think that just about the entire comment thread of this post deserves to be Mollie-fied. ;D

  124. 124
    untheist

    you don’t often see a herd of cats taking down a cow but apparently they crave beef too.

    Herd, no. Pride, yes.

  125. 125
    DLC

    Deep, Furry Rifts.
    can haz jebuscraker ?

  126. 126
    Stacy

    Here I was worried that Chris, terrific as he is, might somehow dilute the Pharyngu-tastic nature of this place.

    Boy was I wrong.

    (Kitty!)

  127. 127
    darkstar

    @untheist — I’m talking about the cat as pictured (Felis silvestris catus), not the Panthera genus. And ‘herd’ was being using in a humorous sense.

  128. 128
    Lofty

    neXus

    I think that just about the entire comment thread of this post deserves to be Mollie-fied. ;D

    There shall be a new award of comment, the “Moggie”, for services to deeeeep riiifts.

  129. 129
    Markita Lynda—damn climate change!

    I <3 you guys!

    (Can't go anywhere: there's a cat on me.)

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