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Category Archive: Religion

Feb 16 2014

TV Snake-Handler Dies (Spoiler: Not Old Age)

There once was a pastor Who handled some snakes For goodness’ sakes— He handled snakes! (He knew the stakes) There once was a serpent With venomous bite Oh, what a plight! A venomous bite! (And deadly, quite) The pastor, he handled; The serpent, he bit With a venomous spit He bit and bit (And wouldn’t …

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Feb 16 2014

“Sports Chaplains” Hunting Big Olympic Game

I’ve come all the way to Sochi With an overarching goal- I’m not here to win a medal— No, I’m here to save your soul: Have you ever heard the story Of the savior on the cross? Who redeemed us all from sinning Through his sacrifice and loss? I can see it in your eyes—you’re …

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Feb 14 2014

Religion Means “This Law Doesn’t Apply To You”

My religion won’t allow it! We consider it a sin! If a gay man wants to shop here, Why, I dare not let him in! It’s infringement on my liberty— Repression at its worst— You’re a bigot, if you force me Not to be a bigot first! I’d kill animals humanely— All my cattle, sheep, …

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Feb 09 2014

Conversation With A Christian…

So… I had a long talk yesterday with someone. It was a ranging conversation, in which we touched on some issues near and dear to FtB readers (I doubt, though, that this person knows FtB exists). He lives in Texas, so one topic was what an idiot Rick Perry is, and republican politicians in general. …

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Feb 02 2014

Which Team Is God’s Team?

You can hear the pundits prattle Over Denver and Seattle As they set off to do battle In the Super Bowl today And I’m left a bit befuddled Cos the logic’s gotten muddled— As I see the players huddled Not for football, but to pray Seems a strange thing in this setting, But I think …

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Feb 01 2014

Rendering Unto Caesar

A little-known sacrament, hidden from view, But it’s there if you happen to search… Is the sacred ability—really, God’s right— For a renter to park at a church. The law is the law, and the rule is the rule, Though enforcement has been, well, relaxed… For over a decade, they’ve taken in money But this …

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Jan 26 2014

Yet Another Case Of Ignorance = God

Science looks for laws by which The real world is constrained But, gee willikers—free will occurs, Which physics can’t explain! So… physics must be incomplete; A reasonable conclusion— Of course, there is another one: Free will is an illusion. A writer over at The Daily Paul (don’t laugh!–their motto is “Peace, Gold, Love”) demonstrates the …

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Jan 25 2014

I Need Some Advice…

For an upcoming funeral. The deceased was a Christmas-and-Easter churchgoer; most (a slim majority) of the extended family are atheist, with a mix of religions (mostly various Protestant Christian) a strong minority. And one daughter, Catholic, who wants to sing The Lord’s Prayer at the memorial. The question I was asked, and which I am …

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Jan 22 2014

This Is Why.

There are moments that pass all too quickly There are moments that linger too long There are times we want heroes rewarded And villains reproved when they’re wrong And so we invented a heaven And so we invented a hell So we could be happy forever And punish our enemies well I wish we could …

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Jan 16 2014

Just Marking Their Territory

Everywhere the big dog goes, he leaves his little sign Alerting all the other dogs, “This property is mine!” “This is mine, and this is mine, and this and this and this!” He makes a claim of ownership, and seals it with a piss He roams the streets and alleyways, and all around the town …

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