Atheism As A Religion: A Phenomenally Ignorant Book

Y’know what? Fuckit. I was going to write a verse for this one, but it honestly doesn’t deserve one. Not even one of mine (which, I guarantee you, take less time and effort than most). See, my aggregator tells me there is a new book out: Athesim As A Religion: An introduction to the world’s least understood faith. By Mike Dobbins. If you follow the link, you can read an excerpt. If you do not follow the link, you can read the same excerpt here, along with my reaction to that excerpt. Honestly, I would rather you not give them the clicks, but if you have doubts, by all means click through and verify.

Unless they are lying, the following quotes are actually an excerpt from the book. I assume Dobbins had some sort of phenomenal intro, but the excerpt dives right in without telling us what chapter this is, what came before, what after… sorry, all I can do is give you what Dobbins gives the Christian Post:

One sacred symbol to atheists is the ‘A’ that symbolizes atheism. Three ‘A’ symbols are prominent in atheism. One ‘A’ symbol was created in 2007 by Atheist Alliance International and has a circle around it. The circle is meant to symbolize the unity of all atheists and the inclusion of all other atheist symbols. As you can tell, not only are these symbols for atheism, there is atheist religious symbolism within them that only atheists or those who study atheism know.

I do know that symbol. Now, although I am an atheist, I did not know what the symbolism of the circle was; the trick with symbols is, they they are… symbolic. I am not a member of the Atheist Alliance International (nor of pretty much any other organization), so I did not recognize their symbol–but hey, I don’t recognize the vast majority of corporate symbols I encounter. Dobbins asserts that the symbol is “sacred” to atheists; Dobbins could not be more mistaken. I assure him I am an atheist, and I invite him to tear up, set fire to, or piss on that particular “A” in my presence, and see if I give a rat’s ass.

A second popular ‘A’ symbol was created by Richard Dawkins and is a red letter ‘A’ on a right leaning slant. The Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF) has adopted this symbol to represent it when they set up monuments to atheism. The third sacred ‘A’ symbol was created by the American Atheists and is placed in the middle of an atomic circle. The organization chose this as their symbol in 1963 to demonstrate their faith that science can save and free mankind. The letter ‘A’ stands in the middle of the atomic sign but rather than meaning atheism, it represents the first letter of the country in which the group is located. This obviously leads to problems since ‘A’ could stand for Austria, Algeria, Australia, and so on, but I suppose they weren’t thinking that far ahead. The Atomic A, as it is known, is allowed on gravestones of U.S. military personnel who are atheists. Atheism is so sacred to some atheists that they want the atheist ‘A’ to represent them to the world after their death.

Ok, dude… So if the first “A” was sacred, why do atheists need a second? And a third? (and why is the “third” one, historically, the first?) Are there atheist denominations? But… you are claiming “atheists” as a (one) religion! And, really, are you that blind to the history of “the scarlet letter” as to neglect mention of that influence?

The “A” for American Atheists… you got me–It could be Australia–except that the symbol is the one that is known as that of the American Atheists. Dobbins writes this for the Christian Post, whose symbol is “CP”… which, I suppose, could stand for “Czechoslovakian Politics”, so I suppose they weren’t thinking that far ahead.

As for headstones… at Arlington, there are well over a dozen different Christian crosses–if it is so important to a Christian that they be represented by–not just a cross, but by the right cross, can you blame an atheist for wanting a headstone that explicitly said “I’m not one of these guys!”. And of course, just as one Christian denomination does not have to be memorialized with another denomination’s cross, any given atheist need not choose to be remembered with the American Atheist atomic A. It is, quite simply, not the atheist symbol.

Many atheists demonstrated just how sacred the symbol ‘A’ is to them in the Christmas of 2013. Since my hometown city of Chicago allows a Hanukkah Menorah and Nativity scene to display on government property during the holiday season, the atheists asked to display their own religious symbol so the government wouldn’t give the appearance to be endorsing one religion or the other. The monument the Freedom From Religion Foundation chose was a giant Richard Dawkins letter ‘A’ which stood 8 feet tall and lit up red at night for all to see. Countless atheists showed respect for the ‘A’ by making a pilgrimage to the site where the ‘A’ was displayed and having their picture taken with the ‘A’ which I’m sure will be kept as a cherished keep sake for many. Still, the giant red A was not enough. They also advocated for their atheist faith by erecting a sign that read, “There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds.”

So visiting a place is “making a pilgrimage”. By this reasoning, of course, any given Hall of Fame (sport, music, acting, etc.) is sacred, as are stadiums, theatres, national parks, zoos, souvenir stands, and the world’s biggest ball of string. Teddy Roosevelt did not want “In God We Trust” on money for fear of making it too common–profane, rather than sacred. Dobbins, in trying to shoehorn atheists into a religion, has just destroyed the entire concept of “sacred”. It used to mean something.

The atheist monument is further proof that atheism is a religion and in direct competition with theist religions for followers. Moreover, they have gone beyond telling people what they stand for and actually attack what others believe in. The FFRF sign is incredibly hateful towards all religions and actively tries to demean God and faith. The FFRF and many secular organizations like them are anti-faith, anti-God, and anti-religion. It is not enough for them to have their symbol and state what they believe in, as the Christian and Jewish symbols do. The FFRF must go one further to state what they dislike about other faiths. I just can’t imagine a Christian nativity scene ever placing a sign next to the nativity stating something cruel and hateful towards other religious faiths. For some reason, atheists at FFRF can still sleep at night doing this. This speaks very poorly of the character of leaders and members of the group. The positive message within atheism must be very weak if they must resort to such hateful, negative tactics.

Just let the irony of that paragraph sink in for a bit. His entire book is an attack on atheism–or rather, on straw-atheism. By his own reasoning, then, his positive message must suck.

An additional religious symbol is the atheist Darwin fish. The fish was traditionally a symbol of Christianity for early Christians to recognize each other and since many of Jesus’s disciples were fishermen who he would transform into ‘fishers of men.’ The atheists have usurped the symbol to declare their belief that Darwin’s theory of evolution proves God doesn’t exist. Since the fish is a creature from the natural world, it made for an easy transition to a symbol for atheism. Atheist’s display the fish with the word ‘Darwin’ across the middle or with feet on the bottom and proudly wear it on t-shirts and bumper stickers. While it may have started as a parody on the Christian fish symbol, it is now an easy way for atheists to recognize each other, mission to non-atheists, and show their gratitude and respect to the person whose scientific work they believe is the foundation for much of their atheist faith, Charles Darwin.

My own preferred fish is, of course, the cuttlefish with quill But I don’t wear it. Looking at what I do wear, I see that some of it has logos. When athletes wear Nike stuff, or that horrendously gaudy Ralph Lauren Polo crap, are those religious symbols too? Oh, and the Christian fish? turn it 90 degrees and see the yonic symbol from which it is derived…

Many more, less popular symbols exist including the empty set symbol of mathematics, the invisible pink unicorn, and the flying spaghetti monster. As the atheist religion continues to fortify itself certain symbols will likely tend to dominate as they work for uniformity and cohesion amongst all atheists.

Uniformity and cohesion amongst all atheists?!? He *really* doesn’t know us, does he? The only thing that unites us is a privative category; we are as similar as, say, flightless things can be.

Atheists are also installing their own religious monuments across the United States. In July of 2013 the American Atheists erected a monument at a Florida courthouse that had allowed the displaying of the Ten Commandments. Ken Loukinen, an American Atheists director of state and regional operations stated “Christianity has had an unfair privilege for at least the last 150 years. We want to level the playing field by stripping them of privilege, and bringing them to equality with all other ideologies.” The group has said they will erect 50 more monuments in other locations where the Ten Commandments sit on government land. As Ken Loukinen admitted, the monuments are an effort for the faith of atheism to compete with the other religious faiths.

That is not a monument, that is a protest. Even American Atheists would far rather have neither chunk of granite there, than both. And please, Dobbins, remember: the Ten Commandments, in that context is not and must not be a “religious monument” as you term it. That would be illegal. The religious liars that put them there now call them “historical”, and the judicial liars who leave them there call them “ceremonial”. The only way they are legal is for believers to deny their sacred nature. Sorta like Dobbins is doing for every sacred element of his own faith.

Peter denied Christ only three times. I guess records are meant to be broken.

Demon-Spotting In The 21st Century

In the depths of my skull there’s a demon that’s schemin’,
Controlling my thinking—or that’s what I’m told
It’s why I have such a reliance on science,
And gave up on demons at seven years old
At least, that’s the story I’ll tell you—but well you
Might wonder if demons are crafting my lies
And each silly thing that I’m saying, they’re playing
A practical joke in their demon disguise

Psychologists look to the brain, to explain, you
Are acting because of some structural flaw;
They laugh at demonic possession—a session
Of therapy, rather than prayer, as a law.
But really, it’s demons! I’m haunted! I’ve taunted
Religion too often; I’m paying the price!
I’ll trust my online diagnosis; “neurosis”
Is anti-religious—a demon’s device! [Read more...]

We’re Not Excluding You—We’re Just Not Including You

You haven’t quite heard what we’re saying—we’re praying
We’d let you, but atheists really don’t pray
We call on a spiritual being, but seeing
As atheists don’t, there is nothing to say
We see your complaint as illusion; ”exclusion”
Implies that you once had a chance to be heard
You didn’t. This can’t be excluding—quit brooding! —
An atheist prayer? Why, the thought is absurd!

Are hippos “excluded” from flying? I’m trying
To think of a way that this even makes sense!
An atheist prayer? Oxymoron! Implore on—
Your huffing and puffing is all a pretense!
You’d “pray” to the people who hear you? It’s clear, you
Have no real conception of praying at all!
You’re different from us, no denying—quit trying
To claim the protection of Jefferson’s “wall”! [Read more...]

Armageddon Gets Results; Navy Puts Bibles Back In Hotel Rooms

There’s a war on Christianity
We’re martyrs for a cause!
The seculars are making sure
We’re following the laws!
That’s simply unacceptable,
And so we scream and fuss—
The laws are for the baddies,
So they don’t apply to us!

But Christians in this country
Are oppressed at every turn!
From a lack of state religion,
To the science that we learn!
To the bibles in hotel rooms
So that heathens might be saved—
Watch the power of the atheists…
Wait, what? The Navy caved? [Read more...]

Egypt’s New Proposal To Fight And Cure… Atheism

We’ve got to be ready
We’ve got to prepare
The atheist danger is already there
So call the professors, and
Summon the shrinks
There’s harm in the way that an atheist thinks

We made a proposal
And got it approved
Which will see that the atheist problem’s… removed
The godless need helping
Oh, what they’ve endured!
They’re sick, we can tell, and it’s time that they’re cured

We’ll collect their objections
The weak and the strong
In a site where we’ll show that they’re totally wrong
A government project
With just the right touch…
And no one will claim we’re protesting too much [Read more...]

There’s Miracles, And Then There’s Miracles

The stories in our narratives
Grow stranger in re-telling—
Man, you should have seen the fish that got away!
And a parent’s tale of family lore
Can often be compelling—
You’d have seen it, if you hadn’t slept that day!
They promote a faith in fantasy
They should, perhaps, be quelling
So they see their child’s thinking led astray
But it seems to serve a purpose:
It’s the Catholic faith they’re selling
So a miracle’s a miracle, ok? [Read more...]