Thinking Like Jim West

Without a bit of irony (it was subtle–I had to read quite a bit more of his blog to decide he was serious)…

Thinking Like an Atheist

30DEC

In three easy steps:

1-  Lump all Christians together into one massive Borg-ish collective.
2- When one or a tiny minority of the collective does something stupid- attribute that stupidity to all.
3- Mock the entirety of Christianity.

Like this chap has done-

So, if Christians were actually lame and unintelligent enough to adopt atheistic reasoning we could

1- Hear of some atheist or atheists who were child molesters.
2- Denounce all atheists as child molesters, since they all clearly share the same exact mentality.
3- And mock all of atheism.

Except Christians are too smart to act that way. It’s a shame that the ‘reason exalting’ atheists exemplified by the clearly angry atheist lad above in his feckless ‘tweet’ aren’t as smart.

On the other hand, it could have gone:
1- read one atheist’s twitter admonition to some Christians making threats of violence.
2- denounce all atheists as “Lump[ing] all Christians together into one massive Borg-ish collection”
3- and mock all of atheism.

Now, I know full well that not all Christians think that way.

But I know one who does.

For Greta (Happy Birthday!)

Now that I get to rub virtual elbows with her on a daily basis, it was nice to take a look back a few years to the time when a newbie cephalopod blogger was noticed by one of the movers and shakers. So now, on the occasion of half a century of moving and shaking (I hit that milestone earlier this year, so I know nothing moves or shakes like it used to), I give you (with minor alterations) a reprise of a post subtitled “Worshipping Greta Christina”… after the jump: [Read more...]

Undecided? Still?

Slate.com has a story analyzing 12 kinds of undecided voters. They miss one motivation, though…

There was a voter, undecided,
Though I cannot fathom why;
Perhaps a faulty compass guided
Him, as days and weeks flew by.
Friends would prod, and neighbors chided
“Such an indecisive guy!”
With rapt attention undivided
All would roll their eyes and sigh.
The networks parked where he resided
(Never was he camera-shy)
The interviews that he provided
Kept the ratings climbing high.

Today, as news-mobiles collided
In his yard, I caught his eye:
“If I decide”, the man confided,
“All these cameras say good-bye!”

Barone Graphics And Design

Took me long enough. I finally had a bit of an epiphany; you see, my extremely cool banner is but one of a total of seven different designs that the good people at Barone Graphics And Design put together. I was going to have an alternating series of banners, like PZ did at ScienceBlogs, but that’s a low priority in the grand scheme of blog network things.

For now, though, I have updated my “banner” tab above, to show the other banners–take a look (click any of them to embiggen)! If you have a favorite, let me know. I have mine as well, but I won’t say just yet.

Biblical Inerrancy

Science and the Bible, any fool can plainly see,
Are always in agreement, save for when they disagree.
There are, rarely, those occasions when they don’t see eye to eye—
Such that one must be a metaphor, or parable, or lie,
Or a plain misunderstanding of the meaning of God’s Word;
Cos to think that it’s inaccurate, of course, would be absurd.

The Bible is inerrant; every word of it is true,
Any misinterpretation is the fault of me and you
It’s a perfect single textbook, and the only one on earth,
It’s the story of our planet, and it really shows its worth
On those very rare occasions when the two don’t get along
You can bet your bottom dollar, it’s reality that’s wrong.

Context and amusing stuff, after the jump: [Read more...]

The Story Of No One You’ve Ever Heard Of

She wrote a thoughtful article, and posted it online;
It showed she was a thinker, and it showed she had a spine
A critical analysis, presented with true class…
The geniuses who read it had to comment: “Hey, nice ass!”

With stubborn perseverance, she resolved again to try—
She’d interact as mind to mind, or know the reason why—
When something’s worth the battle, she could never call it quits…
The geniuses who read it had to comment: “Yo, nice tits!”

She wondered if she’d wandered into someone else’s world,
With the banner of misogyny so blatantly unfurled—
“They treat me like an object, and won’t even get to know me!”
And the geniuses who read it had to comment: “Baby, blow me!”

It wasn’t worth the trouble; no reward for her to stay,
She could tell she wasn’t welcome, so she mostly kept away
Every now and then, she’d read there, though it mostly made her vexed,
Cos the geniuses who wrote there had to comment: “Bitchez, Next!”

“Unencumbered By Government Intrusion”

“Allow us to practice our faith, unencumbered
By government intrusion”, the spokesperson said.
Our clinics’ and hospitals’ days are now numbered—
They want us to change, but we’d rather be dead.

It seems like a joke, but it just isn’t funny,
Insisting we play by the federal rules—
But “no strings attached” is how we like our money,
To use for adoption, for kitchens, for schools

We’re forced to have standards! We’re forced to make offers
Of service to which we are rightly opposed!
Our money, which comes from the government’s coffers
Is needed—without it, our clinics are closed!

It just isn’t fair we are forced to these choices
Like those we’re preventing our clients to make
So faithful believers are raising our voices…
Our right to be prejudiced pricks is at stake!

Slight rant, after the jump: [Read more...]

Faith, Hope, & Charity

Of faith, and hope, and charity,
Of pleas for public parity
Of common sense, that rarity,
I come today to speak.
They’re trying to eliminate
Our freedom to discriminate
They’re asking us to deviate
If public funds we seek

Religion’s place of prominence
And utter social dominance
Is threatened—surely commonsense
Will somehow be restored!
This isn’t mere frivolity;
Our nation loves equality;
It’s onerous, this polity!
We shall not be ignored!

The secular authorities
Oppose our (God’s) priorities—
Respect for some minorities
Just isn’t what we do!
No worries that our angle meant
A church-and-state entanglement—
Each dollar, and each wrangled cent
We’re spending, thanks to you!

The bishops are claiming discrimination… That is, they claim they are being discriminated against, by not allowing them to discriminate. No, really. They argue that they deserve the same access to your money that non-discriminators do. It’s just not fair to discriminate against them.