In the little bits and pieces I’ve deciphered from the news,
As I search the databases for the tiniest of clues,
I’ve discovered there’s a pattern, and it’s filling me with fear:
Seems the animals are gearing up, and we provide their gear!
From genetic alterations making salmon grow much faster
(Which I swear I saw on SyFy, though the film was a disaster)
To a cute bionic kitty, newly fitted with faux paws,
There are animals aplenty, each ignoring nature’s laws!
When they modified a rabbit (which is now ten years ago!)
With a little bit of jellyfish, to make the bunny glow,
Why, it set the critics moaning, “We are turning into gods!”
They all knew where we were heading, and they didn’t like the odds.
Now the streets are filled with unicorns and twenty-five-foot spiders,
The apocalyptic nightmares feared by government insiders
And the necessary outcome (well, that’s what the papers say)
Of the scientific progress we rely upon today.
So let’s put a stop to science! In your heart, you know we should!
It can only lead to evil; it has never led to good!
It is mankind’s worst invention, we acknowledge (to our shame)–
If I live to be a hundred, I say science gets the blame!
Inspired by the comments at the NYTimes following the first linked story above.