Apology #130 to William Shakespeare »« In His Own Image

A Blood-Curdling Cautionary Tale Of Science Run Amok

Genetically, of course, a spork
Is half a spoon, and half a fork
A laboratory in New York
Created them, then popped the cork.

Please, gentle reader, do not swoon,
But there was also, once, a foon
(That’s half a fork, and half a spoon)
Created, sadly, all too soon.

In cutlery, one tempts the Fates
When artificially, one mates
Utensils from across the plates
Regardless of recessive traits.

A careless thought: “let’s cross F-1
Again with forks, and have some fun.”
The simple plan was soon begun,
Then all too soon: “What have we done?”

With thirst for blood and killing drives
Such meddling ends in loss of lives
I only hope someone survives
To tell—the sporks have found the knives!

From xkcd, of course.

Comments

  1. says

    Is it bad that my initial reaction to today’s comic was “I sooo have to use this as an example somehow next time I TA Genetics?”So what do you call a spork crossed with a knife? A Spife? A Knork? Sounds like something from Dr. Seuss.

  2. says

    Actually, there is discussion of that on the xkcd forum (they have a separate area where there is a thread for each individual cartoon); I think you are right, with “knork”, but I don’t trust my memory. But yeah, somebody posting there actually owns one. Oops. No, that was a knife with a fork. A knife and spork, on the other hand… I think you would call it Evil Incarnate.

  3. Feyn says

    I am shocked, nay, dismayedthat in your haste, your poesy,ignored the humble splade.But your confidence will tearwhen your mind does recall (’tis heresy)the runcible spoon of Edward Lear.OK, not too relevant to crossing cutlery, but I still couldn’t resist.

  4. says

    Thoughts Upon a SporkWhat can be said in discussing a spork?We need refereeing; let’s call Robert Bork.He’d call you an activist silverware vulture.Your librul views “tarnish” cutlery culture!You’d alter them from their original intent.Transmogrification’s outrageous dissent!So let those brave spoons and poor forks have their virtue.God made them that way; don’t make Him have to hurt you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>