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There was that stolen apple, too

There’s a Kenyan lawyer, Dola Indidis, who is trying to sue Israel for…

…now take a deep breath…

…for the “trial and crucifixion of Jesus Christ.”

Um. Statute of limitations, bro. Also – lack of evidence. Story. Story not evidence. The Iliad not evidence of the murder of Hector.

A Kenyan lawyer has filed a petition with the International Court of Justice in  The Hague, suggesting that the trial and crucifixion of Jesus Christ was  unlawful, and the State of Israel among others should be held responsible,  Kenyan news outlet the Nairobian reported on Friday.

Dola Indidis, a  lawyer and former spokesman of the Kenyan Judiciary, is reportedly attempting to sue Tiberius (emperor of Rome, 42 BCE-37 CE), Pontius Pilate, a selection of Jewish elders, King Herod, the Republic of Italy and the State of  Israel.

I can think of more urgent violations of human rights than that one.

When asked about the case, an  official from the ICJ told legal news website Legal Cheek, “The ICJ has no  jurisdiction for such a case. The ICJ settles disputes between states. It is not  even theoretically possible for us to consider this case.”

I wonder if the Jerusalem Post accidentally picked up a story from the Onion.

Comments

  1. Al Dente says

    The Iliad not evidence of the murder of Hector.

    Hector wasn’t murdered. He was killed by Achilles in a one-on-one fight during the Trojan War after Hector killed Achilles’ friend (lover?) Patroclus.

  2. says

    That’s what I said – the Iliad not evidence of the murder of Hector!

    (I know Hector wasn’t murdered. But then Jesus wasn’t arrested by the Jews, either.)

  3. Al Dente says

    Sorry, I thought you were saying that the Iliad wasn’t evidence for anything, being fictitious like the Bible. My mistake.

  4. says

    No prob. I was saying that, but also deliberately getting the details wrong. I’m too vain to let you think I don’t know what happens to Hector. :D

  5. Your Name's not Bruce? says

    I would hope that the case of patricide against Zeus would be settled first. I mean, really, first things first!

  6. Camas says

    *snort* – if Jesus ever existed, he was executed by the Roman empire (which hasn’t existed for centuries) in the manner reserved at the time for non-Roman citizens.

    Another wonderful layer of ridiculousness – I can’t recall where I read this, but once someone pointed out that the central event of Christianity was Jesus’ death and resurrection. Without that belief, the rest of Christianity as we have known it for some 16 centuries would not exist. Therefor, JESUS HAD TO DIE. No death = no resurrection = no Christian redemption. So it could well be argued that Judas was the only one of Jesus’ disciples to understand Jesus and what had to be done. And therefor Christians like this whacknut in Kenya should not be condemning those who, allegedly, participated in the murder of some dude who likely never existed. They should be thanking them profusely for bringing about redemption.

    Funny how few Christians ever think this one through….

  7. sc_770d159609e0f8deaa72849e3731a29d says

    There’s a Kenyan lawyer, Dola Indidis, who is trying to sue Israel for…

    …now take a deep breath…

    …for the “trial and crucifixion of Jesus Christ.”

    …which was perfectly legally carried out by the Romans under Roman law.

  8. Silentbob says

    Shouldn’t Yahweh be included in the suit? According to the bible the whole thing was his idea!

  9. Pen says

    Hey if he gets away with it – I mean succeeds – a whole lot of us could go after the state of Italy for wrongful invasion and enslavement of our ancestors.

    Seriously though, this is a Biblical thing, isn’t it? The sins of the fathers and all that. You’re right about the statute of limitations, Ophelia. I thought it was 40 generations, wasn’t it?

  10. says

    He should go to a sharia court. I don’t know if it has jurisdiction, but it’s probably his best bet for taking the bible as serious evidence.

  11. Corvus illustris says

    Republic of Italy? It should be a piece of cake for a good lawyer to demonstrate that the successor state of the Roman Empire is the Vatican. Phone call for M. Tulli Cicero!

  12. Corvus illustris says

    ibis3 @11: Don’t think so. The Donation of Constantine was a forgery.

    Well, you could try using some of the more extreme assertions of Aegidius Romanus. But in any case, when has using forged evidence favoring the client ever bothered a good lawyer? Oh, and the Bible–certainly the synoptic Gospels–would fall into the same category.

  13. says

    Shouldn’t Yahweh be included in the suit? According to the bible the whole thing was his idea!

    Under traditional theology, indeed, he was even intimately involved. Present at the crime*, planned the whole thing, so listen, they should be booking him as principal. These other guys, they’re maybe accomplices. Patsies, I tells ya. This was Mr. Y’s caper. Got his fingerprints all over it.

    … and even if he insists he’s really just one of those clockmaker gods, sets the whole thing going, gets outta the way and lets the capo handle it, it still seems to me he’s still at least co-conspirator. He wants even accessory before the fact, he better hope his buddies don’t tell too colourful a tale, here…

    Anyway. I say bring him in. Whichever way it goes, it seems to me he’s got some ‘splainin’ to do.

    (*/Technically, even, all crimes. We’re dealing with one serious sicko here, people.)

  14. Al Dente says

    AJ Milne @15

    Technically, even, all crimes.

    According to the learned Christian apologist and all-around Yahweh promoter, Dr. W. Lane Craig, Yahweh is incapable of committing crimes. Craig claims that if Yahweh does the most evil, depraved, morally disgusting thing possible, it become good and moral because Yahweh does it.

    Craig’s argument doesn’t make sense to me either.

  15. Corvus illustris says

    @16: Craig claims that if Yahweh does the most evil, depraved, morally disgusting thing possible, it become good and moral because Yahweh does it.

    Cf. “If the President does it, that makes it legal,” favorite of Oval Office miscreants from Nixon to Obama inclusive.

  16. lorn says

    If you kill someone, and then, later, they show up alive, can anyone accuse you of murder? Jesus was crucified, but he, according to Christian dogma, got better.

    The lesser crimes all seem to have statutes of limitation. After better than two thousand years it is a very cold case.

  17. chrislawson says

    The successor state of the empire that killed Jesus was the Byzantine Empire, which was destroyed by the Ottomans in 1453. That is, there is no surviving successor state to the Romans.

  18. Robert B. says

    Even the states that falsely claimed or implied themselves to be successor states are gone now – the Holy Roman Empire, for example, and the monarchies that styled their monarch with a localization of Caesar. (Kaiser, Tzar)

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