Ah, I love crazy religious mail (click image for larger version):
Any guesses as to what a metaphysicotheologicocosmogynaecologist does? My first guess would be “annoys people with insane supernatural spam,” but the “gynaecologist” part is throwing me off. I’m not sure I want to know.
(Thanks, Jeff!)


33 comments
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sunioc
June 11, 2010 at 7:43 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
The study of god’s magical, planet sized vagina.
Anna Jobsis
June 11, 2010 at 7:52 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
You bet me to the funneh. Sumbitch.
Mattir
June 11, 2010 at 8:34 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Holy Land of Canada? WTF?
Ron
June 11, 2010 at 8:40 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I didn’t know our Canada was all that holy, but no doubt in my mind that this person’s mind is holey.
SamG
June 11, 2010 at 8:40 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Study of how gods are born??? If they exist, they gotta come from somewhere, eh?
aljal
June 11, 2010 at 8:41 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I found these two links:http://wso.williams.edu/orgs/s…http://wiki.cotch.net/index.ph…
mcbender
June 11, 2010 at 9:07 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Sounds to me like a fairly typical religious leader: a whole lot of philosophical terms mashed into word salad, plus examining people’s genitals.
TPRJones
June 11, 2010 at 9:16 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Apparently metaphysicotheologicocosmogynaecologist means he helps gives birth to God’s perfect universe in his imagination.
Mardekar
June 11, 2010 at 9:34 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
“historical historian”? tautology much? lol
Aadpig
June 11, 2010 at 9:55 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
“He is the Messiah! and I should know – Ive followed a few!”
Kevin Lyda
June 11, 2010 at 10:49 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Close: “annoys people with insane supernatural speculum.”
Geit
June 11, 2010 at 11:44 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Maybe he has the magical powers to solve your lady-parts problems by using the stars
Andrew Hall
June 12, 2010 at 12:47 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
He has the word Messiah in his title, but Jesus is coming again.I’m confused, are there two Messiahs? If so, why only two and where can we find these other Messiahs? Can one of them get me a ham on rye sandwich with a bit of brown mustard?http://laughinginpurgatory.blo…
Grendel
June 12, 2010 at 1:17 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
No, I think that would be ‘metaphysicotheologicocosmobstetrician’What we have here is someone who accepts that god is a woman and considers her vagina a holy place.I get that – first religion I’ve ever considered half-way rational! (please switch satire meters on. . .)
Matthew Carrick
June 12, 2010 at 3:17 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
“JESUS IN SECOND COMING” ??Sounds like Yoda announcing the race results in the “Supreme Being 100 Meter Dash”.
the_Siliconopolitan
June 12, 2010 at 9:51 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
As Fox (not Faux) used to say: “Jesusbuddhaallah!”
kydalito
June 12, 2010 at 3:16 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
i think my favorite part is ‘cocosmog’
Anthony McCloskey
June 12, 2010 at 8:53 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I don’t know what one who has that title does, but it is a pretty amazing title. You are right Jenn, the gynaecology portion is more than a little disturbing.
Screamer77
June 13, 2010 at 6:21 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
it sounds to me like someone who needs an excuse to see and touch naked women.
Arancaytar
June 13, 2010 at 7:22 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Heh, Historical Historian. As with any ridiculous titles or credentials, I have this urge to try and squeeze them into the meter of “I am the very model of a modern Major-General.” :P
Ray
June 13, 2010 at 8:31 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
“Any guesses as to what a metaphysicotheologicocosmogynaecologist does?” They treat ailments likeMetaphysitheologocosmovaginosis!Even though the smell of it is something quite atrocious,If you say it loud enough you’ll always sound precocious!Metaphysitheologocosmovaginosis!Om hari hari hari om hari omOm hari hari hari om hari omI traveled all around the world and through the astral planeThose silly fools who laughed at me and said I was insaneHad better take it back because I’ve had the wond’rous chanceTo look inside the universe’s cosmic underpants!(Sorry. What a way to introduce myself. Anyway, hello and I enjoy your blog.)
ty_ping
June 13, 2010 at 12:24 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Jesus is Second Coming… in your vag?They research the metaphysical side of a woman’s punanni?the theological aspects of the all-mighty vageener?… 0_o
ty_ping
June 13, 2010 at 12:25 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
THAT WAS AWESOME!!
Dr. Harl Delos
June 13, 2010 at 3:26 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I’ve been looking for a new hobby. Any idea where I might go shopping for an insane supernatural speculum?
John Small Berries
June 13, 2010 at 5:39 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Perhaps the latter bit is not “gynæcologist”, but “gyna-ecologist”.No, it doesn’t make sense, but neither does the rest of the title.
Never Was An Arrow II
June 13, 2010 at 8:15 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
He forgot to add to his litany of titles, Kewl Guy~
Stephen Moore
June 14, 2010 at 3:41 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
metaphysicotheologicocosmogynaecologist:The study of the nature of the universe through the female divinity.At least the good doctor had the sense to maintain the use of Greek roots throughout his invented field of study. None of this mixing of Latin and Greek for him, no sir.
Stephen Moore
June 14, 2010 at 3:47 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Given the Canadian origin, I think he’s using the British spelling that uses the -ae- instead of -e-.
GodwinsLaw1
June 14, 2010 at 7:18 AM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
What amuses me is the fact that whoever this is can manage to spell that monstrosity of a word and yet still spell Canterbury wrong!
Cecilia
June 14, 2010 at 6:03 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Of course it’s holy. Haven’t you seen all the lakes?
Chris
June 15, 2010 at 4:07 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
historical historian is historical
Colin Morris
June 22, 2010 at 9:25 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
“Oh my god, it’s full of stars!”
Patrick Neal Russell Julius
June 22, 2010 at 10:18 PM (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Correction: The PHILOSOPHICAL study of God’s magical cosmic vagina.