Creation Museum Part 2

After the mastodon is what I think is supposed to be a brief “introduction” to the museum. Aka, getting right to calling scientist delusional liars and preparing you to witness dinosaurs and humans mingling together:
This museum is overflowing with dinosaurs. I initially found it strange; I mean, this is supposed to be about all creation, right? There are other animals in the exhibits, but no where near the number of dinosaurs. I can think of millions of interesting things you could say about amphibians or birds or mammals or insects or whatever, and I’m sure they have millions of ways they can twist those facts to fit their own agenda.

But once you look at the usual demographics of the museum, you know why there’s all the dinosaur hype: kids. Nearly all of the theists there (recognizable by their lack of a name tag and their looks of shock) were with families. When I saw a large group of 7-ish year olds walk in on what seemed to be some kind of field trip, my heart sank. The Creation Museum isn’t for the believing adults whose faith is strong, or the atheists who come to giggle and likely won’t be converted: it’s for the impressionable youth. These kids are getting brainwashed, and who knows if they’ll ever be taken to a real natural history museum. And what better way to brainwash children than to have exciting dinosaurs? I know I loved dinos as a kid, and I would also believe whatever an adult would tell me. This sort of million-dollar-budget indoctrination is hard to undo.

The other thing the museum beats over your head is that humans and dinosaurs lived at the same time. It’s preposterous, but necessary for them. Creationists already have their “conclusion” as told to them by the Bible, and they have to take reality and warp it to fit their preconceptions. They know the Earth is 6000 years old, so how do they explain dinosaur fossils? Apparently it’s less crazy to say humans and dinosaurs roamed the earth at the same time than to claim God buried fake dinosaur fossils to test people’s faith. I mean, that would just be silly.
And to be honest, the fake humans really freaked me out. They fell right smack dab in the middle of the uncanny valley. This little girl was especially freaky because she was animatronic, and her eyes would shift back and forth. I think I died a little inside when her eyes stared right at me. Made me wonder if they’re really some sort of video camera, like in one of those old haunted houses. I can just imagine Ken Ham sitting behind a bunch of surveillance cameras, watching as the atheists file through his museum.

The pre-main exhibit display cases were attempts to make people doubt evolution and raise questions that would later be answered (Spoilers: The answer is always “God did it.”). Since I’m studying both genetics and evolution, parts like this in the museum really made me want to cry. For example:Standard creationist argument, right? There’s not enough time for evolution even in a billions of years (which is an outright lie), and we all know the Earth is only 6,000 years old because all “facts” are provided by the Bible. Therefore, evolution is a lie. The weird thing about the museum is that they actually try to use genetics and natural selection in their later exhibits, but they’re just setting themselves up to fail. Their stance isn’t even consistent through the museum (not surprising). For example:
Here, there’s no way all this diversity could have evolved, right? God made all the finches unique (they even had about 7 beautifully colored live finches in a display to make their point). Sounds like the standard creationist argument: Except the Creation Museum believes in natural selection. They have whole exhibits explaining how a single “Kind” of animal that was brought on the Ark had enough variation that through natural selection it produces lots of different species. For example, two proto-horses brought on the Ark would later produce modern horses, donkeys, and zebras.
I honestly don’t understand how they say the appearance of new species over time from a common ancestor is not evolution – it’s like staring at an apple and asserting it’s an orange, or more appropriately, sticking your fingers in your ears and yelling “LA LA LA!” But regardless of that inanity, why didn’t they use that explanation for the finches? Why not say Noah brought a “Kind” on the Ark that was a basic finch, and after the flood it turned into different finches? You would think if they’re just making stuff up, they would at least be consistent about it – of course, look at the Bible. I’ll talk about what’s actually wrong with the “Kind” hypothesis once I actually get to that part of the museum.

(Thanks to Vanessa and Josh for extra photos)

Part1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Creation Museum Part 1

I’m finally home from this crazy, awesome, non-stop weekend. People have been asking me how the Creation Museum was, and I always have to pause before I answer. There is just so much to say about it that I don’t know where to begin. In order to make sure I don’t forget anything, I think I’m just going to retell my trip in chronological order. This is going to take multiple posts, so stay tuned throughout the day!

Mark, Josh, and I left around 6 am Friday morning. The drive from West Lafayette, IN to the Creation Museum in Kentucky was supposedly a little under 3 hours, and we didn’t want to be late. I was driving (won a lovely travel grant from the Secular Student Alliance, thank you!) and functioning on about 3 hours of sleep due to over excitement the night before, but I was so pumped that morning that it didn’t really matter. Only about 45 minutes into our drive we saw an anti-evolution billboard which seemed very appropriate for the day. Really not surprising though – if you’ve ever driven through Indiana, you know religious billboards are a common sight.

I thought Kentucky was much prettier than Indiana. It’s always a relief to see rolling hills and something other than corn and soybean fields. When we were about 15 minutes from the Creation Museum, an eerie fog rolled in:Me: This is really creeping me out. It’s like we’re going to Jurassic Park.
Josh: Through the mist of time, back to the beginning… six thousand years ago…

In a movie like fashion, the mist cleared once we arrived at the museum gates. When we parked there was already a small gaggle of heathens hanging out in the parking lot, even though we were an hour early. There was something very strange and satisfying about knowing those people you’ve never met are your allies. I mean, it wasn’t hard to figure out who was in the group, since everyone was wearing science or atheism shirts. Four of my other Purdue friends who were driving in a different car arrived right after us (even though they left 20 min before…whoops, guess I was being a speed demon). Eventually the group was getting a little too big, and since I didn’t want anyone to get run over by a car, I sort of ushered the group towards the front of the museum. I think it’s instinct for me to go into my Leader role when dealing with a bunch of atheists, haha. A security guard checked out bags, which was really just a quick glance and not invasive at all. Everyone was very polite and cooperative. This is also where we met our first dinosaur:The Creation Museum was nice enough to set up a little tent for our group so we could check in in an organized fashion. I was near the front of the line since we got there early, and it was very fun to watch the group grow.Almost immediately after I signed in, PZ walked right by me. Apparently I visibly freaked out in a fangirlish way, because my friends started laughing at me. I didn’t want to bother him since he just got there (and I was still too shy), so we went to get into the museum. The first thing you can do when you enter is get your photo taken in front of a green screen to make it seem like a giant T-Rex is about to eat you. The Purdue group – 8 students and a mom – thought why the hell not, and took one. The photo was hilarious, but then we found out it was 15 dollars to get a copy. Screw that. I had already spent 10 bucks to get in, an I wasn’t giving them a penny more.

Immediately after that I spotted the infamous Pastor Tom walking around the entrance. Not wanting any kerfuffles, our group quickly moved towards the exhibit. The first thing you’re greeted with is an impressive mastodon:
It’s description, however, was less impressive. I made a mistake of not taking a photo of the sign so I don’t know the exact number, but they hilariously think that the last ice age occurred within the last two or three thousand years. We already had major human civilizations around at that time, many of those who had written records. I don’t think we’ve discovered any Egyptian hieroglyphics about extreme temperature changes. They’d probably claim that just because we can’t find them doesn’t mean they don’t exist (sound familiar?). But really, it’s pointless to harp on this one fact, since the whole museum is filled with ridiculous dating. As PZ already pointed out, it’s hilarious that they take the time to say dinosaurs were alive and well in 2348 BC. I wonder what would be harder for multiple human civilizations to fail to record: giant lizard creatures roaming the earth, or drastic temperature changes and cold? Hmmm

Part1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Creation Museum Hilarity

I’m all checked in to the dorms at OSU for the Secular Student Alliance conference, so time for a quick blog post before the conference starts! I’ll talk about serious stuff later when I have more time. Here are just some fun things.

Here’s a glimpse of the line of heathens waiting to get into the Creation Museum. This is before everyone got there, these are just the early people:
This is one of the first things you see when you enter the museum: a little girl with a dinosaur. I swear this girl fell right smack dab in the middle of the uncanny valley. She freaked the hell out of me when she would look straight at you.Josh and I enjoyed this exhibit sign:ZOMG DINOSAURS!No, not for people who believe this insane stuff:Look! Atheist Evangelist! How appropriate:A glimmer of hope in the museum:And just to rub it in:I like how much more excited I look than PZ, hahaha.

Fast forward to OSU:

After we had checked into our rooms, we noticed Wife Swap was playing on TV. Ironically, an atheist swapped with a super religious family (not the famous one with the crazy “God’s Warrior”, a new one). Then PZ walks in to check in, and after he’s done he came to see what we were watching. There’s something oddly cool about me, Mark, and Josh sitting and laughing at a horrifying and ironic episode of Wife Swap with PZ. Oh, and even better – PZ’s room is directly across the hall from me. Seriously.

And this was just the cherry on top:

Bus full of cheerleaders suddenly appears out of no where
Me: Hey Mark, proof there is a God!
Mark: …Wait, no, they’re jailbait!
Me: Never mind, proof there is no God.

More fun stuff later. Have to find food now!

Getting ready for tomorrow's Creation Museum trip!

I am sooooo excited for the Creation Museum trip tomorrow. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to sleep at all tonight. Stayed up until 3 am last night, need to wake up at 5 am tomorrow, and I generally don’t sleep when I’m excited for something. That’s alright though. I’ll be wide awake from sheer excitement. And the super large coffee I plan on getting before we leave.

Just so everyone knows, here’s how it’s going to go down tomorrow. I am going to try to tweet as much as possible tomorrow. I also figured out how to send photos from my phone through twitter, so you’ll be getting little low resolution treats occasionally. You can follow me by going here. You do not need a twitter account to read what I post. Everyone at the Creation Museum will be using the tag #CreoZerg in their tweets, so you can go there to see what everyone else is saying too.

I’m not sure when my first official blog post will go up here. One, I don’t have a lap top, so I’m going to have to snatch one of my friends’s. Two, after the trip I have to drive to Columbus for the Secular Student Alliance conference (also excited for that, woo!), and I can’t exactly type while driving or in the middle of someone’s talk. So at the earliest, you may have a post around 4pm if we go somewhere with WiFi for food. At the latest, something will be up by 1am-ish.

And apparently my friends are placing bets on what’s going to happen tomorrow: how long we’ll stay in the museum until being kicked out (not getting kicked out to not making it in at all), how many atheists will get arrested (0 to 250), how much physical harm I’ll receive (threats to death), and how many kinky atheists hook-ups I’m going to have (not even going to try to explain that one). Thanks, guys.

Feel free to make your own predictions or create new betting categories in the comments.

EDIT: Forgot to mention that I’ll be wearing my “Stand Back: I’m going to try science!” xkcd shirt. That won the most votes. Second place goes to my club shirt and nakedness, so I guess day 2 of the conference I’ll be going in my birthday suit. Have fun, SSA members!

Getting ready for tomorrow’s Creation Museum trip!

I am sooooo excited for the Creation Museum trip tomorrow. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to sleep at all tonight. Stayed up until 3 am last night, need to wake up at 5 am tomorrow, and I generally don’t sleep when I’m excited for something. That’s alright though. I’ll be wide awake from sheer excitement. And the super large coffee I plan on getting before we leave.

Just so everyone knows, here’s how it’s going to go down tomorrow. I am going to try to tweet as much as possible tomorrow. I also figured out how to send photos from my phone through twitter, so you’ll be getting little low resolution treats occasionally. You can follow me by going here. You do not need a twitter account to read what I post. Everyone at the Creation Museum will be using the tag #CreoZerg in their tweets, so you can go there to see what everyone else is saying too.

I’m not sure when my first official blog post will go up here. One, I don’t have a lap top, so I’m going to have to snatch one of my friends’s. Two, after the trip I have to drive to Columbus for the Secular Student Alliance conference (also excited for that, woo!), and I can’t exactly type while driving or in the middle of someone’s talk. So at the earliest, you may have a post around 4pm if we go somewhere with WiFi for food. At the latest, something will be up by 1am-ish.

And apparently my friends are placing bets on what’s going to happen tomorrow: how long we’ll stay in the museum until being kicked out (not getting kicked out to not making it in at all), how many atheists will get arrested (0 to 250), how much physical harm I’ll receive (threats to death), and how many kinky atheists hook-ups I’m going to have (not even going to try to explain that one). Thanks, guys.

Feel free to make your own predictions or create new betting categories in the comments.

EDIT: Forgot to mention that I’ll be wearing my “Stand Back: I’m going to try science!” xkcd shirt. That won the most votes. Second place goes to my club shirt and nakedness, so I guess day 2 of the conference I’ll be going in my birthday suit. Have fun, SSA members!

This guy needs to learn the term "slashers"

From the New York Post (emphasis mine):

Guy Ritchie’s plan to put a gay spin on the relationship of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in his new movie about the detective and his sidekick could backfire.

Robert Downey Jr, who plays Holmes, has revealed the crimebuster will sleep with and have sweaty grappling scenes with Watson, played by Jude Law, in “Sherlock Holmes,” due out Christmas Day.

“We’re two men who happen to be roommates, wrestle a lot and share a bed. It’s bad-ass,” Downey told Britain’s News of the World. Added much-in-the-news Law: “Guy wanted to make this about the relationship between Watson and Holmes. They’re both mean and complicated.”

But Michael Medved, a former Post movie critic, says Downey and Law must be joking. “There’s not a seething, bubbling hunger to see straight stars impersonating homosexuals,” Medved told us. “I think they’re just trying to generate controversy . . . They know that making Holmes and Watson homosexual will take away two-thirds of their box office. Who is going to want to see Downey Jr. and Law make out? I don’t think it would be appealing to women. Straight men don’t want to see it.

*raises hand*

This man has clearly never talked to a straight woman who wasn’t a fundamentalist or an uber-conservative. Are you shitting me? When I saw the trailer for Sherlock Holmes I flailed with girlish glee, which honestly doesn’t happen too often. But a Sherlock Holmes movie? With Robert Downey Jr.? And Jude Law? Dressed in period clothing? Bickering like an old married couple with homoerotic undertones? Fuck yeah, eye candy. I’ll happily shell out eight bucks for that.

If you could assure me Downey Jr. and Jude Law would make out, first I would cry tears of joy, then I would probably go back multiple times. As would a very large number of women (proof? go read the comments on this LJ thread). We’re the people who saw Brokeback Mountain for teh gay (actually didn’t like it, but that’s because I went for the gay, and I usually hate those kinds of movies). We’re the people who shat bricks of pure bliss when Harry Potter Book 6 essentially made Harry/Draco canon. We’re 95% of the people who read and write slash (homosexual) fanfiction – the straight gals, not the gay guys. We are more than enough to make up for the homophobes that would be scared away.

I highly doubt the movie will have anything more than homoerotic subtext, but that’s fine by me. Imagining what’s really happening it half the fun anyway. And if it wasn’t nearly 3 am, I’d have some insightful comment as to why straight women love homoeroticism, and how this mirrors men’s stereotypical love of lesbians. But it is 3 am, so I’ll just leave it at this:

Bow chicka wow wow

This guy needs to learn the term “slashers”

From the New York Post (emphasis mine):

Guy Ritchie’s plan to put a gay spin on the relationship of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in his new movie about the detective and his sidekick could backfire.

Robert Downey Jr, who plays Holmes, has revealed the crimebuster will sleep with and have sweaty grappling scenes with Watson, played by Jude Law, in “Sherlock Holmes,” due out Christmas Day.

“We’re two men who happen to be roommates, wrestle a lot and share a bed. It’s bad-ass,” Downey told Britain’s News of the World. Added much-in-the-news Law: “Guy wanted to make this about the relationship between Watson and Holmes. They’re both mean and complicated.”

But Michael Medved, a former Post movie critic, says Downey and Law must be joking. “There’s not a seething, bubbling hunger to see straight stars impersonating homosexuals,” Medved told us. “I think they’re just trying to generate controversy . . . They know that making Holmes and Watson homosexual will take away two-thirds of their box office. Who is going to want to see Downey Jr. and Law make out? I don’t think it would be appealing to women. Straight men don’t want to see it.

*raises hand*

This man has clearly never talked to a straight woman who wasn’t a fundamentalist or an uber-conservative. Are you shitting me? When I saw the trailer for Sherlock Holmes I flailed with girlish glee, which honestly doesn’t happen too often. But a Sherlock Holmes movie? With Robert Downey Jr.? And Jude Law? Dressed in period clothing? Bickering like an old married couple with homoerotic undertones? Fuck yeah, eye candy. I’ll happily shell out eight bucks for that.

If you could assure me Downey Jr. and Jude Law would make out, first I would cry tears of joy, then I would probably go back multiple times. As would a very large number of women (proof? go read the comments on this LJ thread). We’re the people who saw Brokeback Mountain for teh gay (actually didn’t like it, but that’s because I went for the gay, and I usually hate those kinds of movies). We’re the people who shat bricks of pure bliss when Harry Potter Book 6 essentially made Harry/Draco canon. We’re 95% of the people who read and write slash (homosexual) fanfiction – the straight gals, not the gay guys. We are more than enough to make up for the homophobes that would be scared away.

I highly doubt the movie will have anything more than homoerotic subtext, but that’s fine by me. Imagining what’s really happening it half the fun anyway. And if it wasn’t nearly 3 am, I’d have some insightful comment as to why straight women love homoeroticism, and how this mirrors men’s stereotypical love of lesbians. But it is 3 am, so I’ll just leave it at this:

Bow chicka wow wow

Atheist bus ad in Iowa…oops, never mind

Not even 24 hours ago, Hemant posted a story about the Iowa Atheists & Freethinkers succeeding in getting this ad on buses in Des Moines:
Aaaaannndddd now they’ve been taken down.

“When she met with us on May 27, we showed her the ads and asked if this could be controversial and she said she didn’t think so,” said the group’s president, Randy Henderson. “She thought it was a nice ad, a safe ad.”

The ads that went up on Saturday read, “Don’t believe in God? You are not alone.”

DART said it immediately started to receive complaints.”

Drivers said people weren’t getting on buses or getting off the buses because of it,” said advertising director Kirstin Baer-Harding. “So with all the calls, it wasn’t something we wanted.”

The signs came down on Aug. 4. Baer-Harding said they never should have gone up.”The ads mistakenly got put on buses,” she said.

She said DART has the final say on any advertisements and its board decided at the last minute that it didn’t like the content. She said the mistake slipped in amid last week’s chaos with the DART-pedestrian crash and the release of its first hybrid bus.

jk lol!!!!1!!eleven!!!

Ok, in a warped and twisted way, I can understand the controversy behind “You can be good without God.” There are religious people out there who sincerely believe that you can’t be good without God, and that suggesting so is corrupting the innocent souls of their children. That’s obviously a load of bull crap, but I can understand the public reaction.

But this?

How dare someone suggest there’s more than one atheist out there! How dare they put a serene cloud background on their ad! Don’t they know serene cloud backgrounds imply God, since he’s up in the sky?! They mocked us! They hate Christians! Dey tuk ar jerbs!

This, my friends, is why we need to have these ads. Not only to find each other, but to let theists know we exist. Only with repeated exposure, over many many years, will they start to realize the atheist next door isn’t such a horrible person after all.

Ok, Blag Hag Swag open for realz!

So after seventy billion people told me how much CafePress sucks, I decided to switch my store to Zazzle. And boy, is it a ton a better. More customizable, better quality printing, more profit for me, and most importantly, free. Ahem, so here is the real Blag Hag Swag!

And to celebrate the non-crappy store, here’s a present for you:
Yep, page 4 of the comic is now available on shirts, mugs, and potentially other crap if you ask me nicely. It’s also available on black (looks pretty classy) and with or without the words “I survived the Creation Museum 8/7/09.” I may be jumping the gun a bit, because who knows, maybe we won’t survive. I guess this is my way of hoping we do.

The one down side to Zazzle? No printing on panties! Come on, what are they thinking? I may keep CafePress around just for that option…

PS: Blog readers who leave inspiring t-shirt designs in the comments have a high likelihood of them being drawn. Especially before school starts.

Blag Hag Swag is open!

EDIT: After a million people telling me CafePress sucks, I jumped ship at went over to Zazzle. Much better!

The CafePress store is open, with a delightfully cheesy name to honor my blog: Blag Hag Swag. I’m awful, aren’t I?

Right now all I have is the I (squid) Cephalopods merch:It’s currently available on shirts, hoodies, baby clothes, coffee mugs, a tote bag, and per Molls‘s request, a thong:I have to figure out how much money I’d make in the store before I start putting more designs up. CafePress has a really lame system. Let’s say I have design A and design B. I want to print A on coffee mugs, but I also want to print B on coffee mugs. Well, I can’t unless I buy a premium account. I can print A on a mug and B on a white shirt, but not both on the same type of object. Premium accounts cost 60 bucks a year, and I make about 2 dollars an item…so I guess I have to figure out if I could actually make a profit selling nerdy atheist stuff. Hmm.

What do you guys think?